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The other night I drank too much at my parents house and had two friends over. One is a really good friend of mine from high school let’s call her Ana. The other is a mutual (ish) old friend let’s call Sam who I don’t talk to anymore, in the past they have told me they had feelings for me and I rejected them. I do not feel the same whatsoever. I’m learning more about myself these days and have come to the conclusion that I hold male validation and attention to a higher standard than necessary. I’m working on it, I know it doesn’t matter. Well at the family function I ended up blacking out and flirting with Sam. He was helping me in the bathroom I think I got sick or something. Nothing inappropriate happened between us physically. At one point though I was told by my sisters Sam was holding the door closed when they were trying to get in to check on me which is really weird. Anyways, I’m absolutely ridden with guilt because I have a boyfriend!!!!! Who I love and adore so so much. I would never do anything to jeopardize us. I think I just got so caught up in receiving attention from a male who I knew would give it to me. It could have been anybody. I know I need to stop drinking so much. I shouldn’t ever get that drunk to where I don’t know what’s going on. I just can’t stop thinking about how much of a horrible person I am, it’s been in my head all day. As soon as I woke up I almost had an anxiety attack. And honestly, my boyfriend and I have talked about flirting before and we both said we don’t mind as long as it doesn’t go too far. So I don’t know why I feel so guilty!!! Please help. I just want to forgive myself and move on. I know it’s not the end of the world, I just feel so so bad.
As the caption reads above, I’ve been having serious back pain for the past couple of days, and it’s causing me to wake up in the middle of the night.
Does anyone have any recommendations at all? I can’t smoke flower at the moment so a cart/edible would be the best option for me. I also have a pretty low tolerance when it comes to edibles just an fyi. Thank you, your help is appreciated!
To start with I (22F) don't struggle talking to people but somehow I've not been able to connect to people in my class or at university.
I started university (acting program in a creative university in England) I'm not English however it is my second language and I've made friends earlier in English. However I had a hard time with English accents especially in the beginning since most of my exposure to English is American or people with English as a second language.
It's now been a year and my classmates still feels like strangers and it sucks. I don't blame them but I just want to connect more next term and actually have some kind of uni life. I've tried talking to people, letting people talk and make small gestures of agreement, joining clubs/societies, starting a society, going to parties/gatherings, hosting a gathering but I've never connected with people. The only person I've connected to is my boyfriend (21M) but I feel kinda trapped without friends since I genuinely enjoy being around people and hanging out with people.
I think my problem is that I'm bad at centralizing someone else in discussions because I am very independent (I've had friends since I was 16 but for a big portion of my formable years I've only had my self and sometimes my best friend but they haven't always been comfortable talking a lot about themself growing up so I've kinda never learned how to talk about someone unless I get very clear signs about stuff they're comfortable talking about regarding tgemselfs) so to avoid making people feel like I'm invading or being weird I kinda stick to surface stuff or talk about myself. How do I stop doing that?
TLDR: I (F22) struggle connecting with classmates/people because I've been isolated which caused me to be self centered and having trouble talking about people on a deeper level without making them uncomfortable. Advice?
Okay, so I'm going to start this post by saying I have a very poor memory, especially from the time period I am going to talk about because of trauma. But this specific movie, I remember it, and it must be something I kind of want to find again.
Every context clue I can provide :- The movie came out after 2010, and before 2020.- It was fully dubbed in French as it came out in French movie theaters, where I had seen it.- It was labelled "12 years and above".- Must not have been really successful due to the fact I saw this movie ALONE in the room. I had to double check with my mother that recalled leaving me at the movies for this particular event, though she hasn't seen the film herself.
Now, as of the movie itself : It took place in rural America, somewhere in the past ( before WW1 because they were no mentions I could understand of it ), and portrayed a family without a father who moved in a house near a small town.
The story focuses on the children, one of them is quite young and the others are teenagers. I remember it having both girls and boys, but I can't recall how many they were. Their mother is shown working or going to town on a bicycle.
There's a big blackout for me about the majority of the movie ( mainly family related things, with a deep unnerving feeling behind it that made me really uneasy ) except for the ending : the children befriended little animals that could crawl in the walls, and one day, one comes back half eaten ( first time seeing something disgusting in a movie that was just making me uneasy before ), and they go in the attic to discover there's a man in there : a man driven crazy by hunger and isolation, that tries to kill them ( and maybe successes in killing one of the children ). I think the man got shot in the end, and there was a whole thing about that man being their father even though it didn't make any sense.
I remember the tame colors and the orange tones of the movie : especially a scene where the children are outside standing in the garden, in front of golden tall grass, worried ( maybe because of one of them being injured / sick ? ). It felt so eerily beautiful to me back then, it still fascinates me. I remember the house having a iron gate, with a name written on it. I could even theorize it was the name of the movie ( or the name of the movie was their family name ).
You understand there's quite a lot of movies in houses where a family move in, and I searched every site that I could find countless times : I really wanna see that movie again. Thanks in advance for your help, you're the best.
i’ve been eating chicken and rice nearly everyday, sometimes i’ll switch it up with chicken, potatoes, and broccoli. but i’m getting sick of it i can barely eat it now, it takes at least 50 minutes for me to finish up a plate of it. so i’m wondering if i could replace that meal with lean beef and rice and pasta and beef occasionally since chickens kinda my main source of protein not sure if its a good idea.
I'm a stranger to the world of psychedelics, I'll admit it. I was just a stoner, and I stayed as far away as I could from other things. But since I've been working a really good job lately with great pay, I decided to try shrooms for the second time a few weeks ago.
The first time I tried them it didn't really do anything for me, and I think it was because I didn't eat all that much. But because of that, I naively believed I could handle whatever I was about to eat. 'I gotta high tolerance for weed, so this shouldn't be too bad', or something along those lines. I found out today that I ate a combined total of 3.85 grams.
When it finally hit, I managed to take a shower, and then I chose to lay down. I got this big industrial fan we use for the summer, and I had it blowing right at my bed. I got nice and cozy and put on MST3K.
After about an hour of tossing and turning in bed, sweating like crazy, I started to get really relaxed. I heard a voice talking to me, like that voice in the back of your head that you argue with when making a really hard decision. And we had this conversation, in my head, just thoughts and stuff. I don't remember much of anything about what we talked about, but I remember talking about my dad. I haven't thought about my dad in ages. I miss him.
The more we talked, my chest felt lighter and lighter. It was like I was talking to that one friend who you know will not judge you, but will still be politely honest with you. This conversation in my head lasted for about four hours, and after that I listened to Cracker Island by Gorillaz until I got tired.
When I woke up, I felt what I can only describe as the most normal I've felt in years. My depression and anxiety hasn't hit me ever since that night, and for the first time I've been seeing things with some clarity. I've been moving forward with some projects I was too afraid to do before, and I've been making myself interact with people more. I'm genuinely happy these days.
So yeah, I just wanted to share my experience, because I can't stop thinking about it. I plan on trying it again soon, but I'm going to be safe and careful this time.
Anyone still play Dying light 1? I got it a few weeks ago and completed it within 27 hours, and I joined the world of a pretty stacked player. He had a crossbow that had infinite ammo, and gave me it along with an infinite ammo shotgun, a baseball bat, a sword called “sword of night,” and a chicken on a stick. This was about a week and a day ago and now I am the most overpowered person in Harran. The prison and quarantine zones are a joke, and after doing a few dupes I am now survival rank 250. It’s fun deleting zombies, but I feel like I’m relying too heavily on my new powers. I tried fighting zombies with my bare hands, but it wasn’t really a challenge. What should I do to feel powerless again?
This is a rant, but I’m also looking for guidance.
Today I’ve about had it. Just had someone track me down, stop all traffic and start screaming at me, calling me names, extremely angry. I tried to calm him down and talk about it but he kept screaming at me. Dude was upset cause I pulled into the road from the bike lane 100ft in front of him in a 25mph zone with a quick point and he thought I didn’t signal. No matter what I said he just kept telling me I was wrong.
I’m growing tired of drivers yelling at me or nearly killing me cause they aren’t paying attention. I’m a very defensive cyclist and I’m always trying to make myself seen and follow all the rules.
Is there anything I can do with the local police. Like encourage a patrol through the busy areas to stop all the bullying and distracted drivers? I’m honestly to the point where I’m gonna give up road biking cause I am sick of it being in a fight or flight response everytime. I’m noticing this just happen more and more.
Taking Lsd while reading Reverend insanity
Human Path Cultivators HATE HIM! He has raised his human path attainment using the Demonic path's "Illegal Drugs!" The Righteous path "society" hates him!
so I took like 6 hits of Lsd while reading reverend insanity each 150 ug and a few 300ug And damn I really got messed up!
First trip was normal shit but I felt it was weird how all this shit in my mind would unravel, like I thought how interesting fang yuan was and like delved deeply into his ambition
Second trip however was 300ug and that's where shit gets very interesting, I literally felt I was FANG YUAN! AND Lsd was Spring Autumn Cicada and Wisdom Gu ! Which gave me all these revelations from my future self, I also thought like wait wtf, the sky is white heaven and space is black heaven, this is the gu world, I was in Central continent which is Europe and all this shit was beyond wild, like it feels like it's Literally the TRUTH like reality! But thank God, I still had a clear mind and didn't do dumb shit like cutting my ear or some other shit
Fourth trip was something more insane, it was directly after it was revealed all of shadow sect was spectral soul's split soul, like the same day I took lsd and I literally felt I was God and everybody was my split soul
Now 5th trip was even crazier, I still thought I was God but I wasn't fang yuan, Rather fang yuan was gonna ascend to venerable and fight ME because I am God ! But I also felt like fang yuan was another one of my split soul and I was doing all this chaos just to entertain myself for eternity
Ok now get this, I don't think reality is just random because I tried multiple times to get lsd at random times but I would procrastinate and the day I would break through in the novel I would do it for no reason at all
Also for people who never did Lsd, it's like another world,it's hallucinations so now just understand this, you literally forget most of the trip so when you get back it's like WTF I KNOW THIS PLACE! I was here before but I forgot for some reason
Now continue with me because my character development went exactly like the novel and especially the legends of renzu which I think is the best story about the human condition, but THERE IS TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! like it cannot be random how the part stood out and you will see why now
So I was in the part where the miniman got of city well in the legends of renzu and there was this quote : "City well is a secluded domain of heaven and earth, only by knowing you are inside of it can you get out", now I didn't give it much thought and coincidentally I took lsd the next day, AND then BOOM! I was like OK so this is city well, even if it's not, I can see that reality is not real, It's all just a Dream! But like then at that moment it was like damn!! Only by knowing you are inside a well can you get out of it and realise True Reality!
Now we are going even WILDER in the next part I read a lot, I understood things like the heart of renzu, like his heart and the trials he faced
So this next part, I took LSD but I didn't READ the novel but here's the catch it was the most intense trip I have ever had, i felt I was BOILING in lava literally, now as you might not now but lsd amplifies all emotions like 100x especially suffering like it lasts even after the trip, in this trip I HAD AN INTENSE EGO DEATH,
Now ego death sounds catchy but it's Literally just memory suppression, I didn't know what it was but it sounded cool but when I got it HOLY SHIT! I literally did not Remember my own name, I didn't KNOW WHO I WAS! OR MY PAST! OR WHAT I WANTED! I literally forgot everything, it's not that I forgot it but it was all suppressed I couldn't recall anything at all!
Like I remember I met my dad after this which was in summer and I FELT LIKE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM! I ate food and it felt like it was the first time I ate, I saw trees and I felt it was the first time I saw them, I'm not even kidding it was the scariest shit ever, I couldn't even think properly
The scariest part is there is this state that's called pure consciousness, it's when you see something but you do not remember the act of seeing; like you see something but you forget your existence; you don't remember you are a person seeing this thing but there is just the thing itself
This was really like rock bottom for me, like when I saw somebody I could vaguely feel I know this person but there were no memories, and I would have this voice in my head : "WHAT AM I?" "WHERE AM I " "WHY?" AND ALL this shit was crazy, I would think all day and i understood nothing about what the world was or how it worked
It's Literally like being THERE in the trip and having never come back, like I could remember i know this thing but I do not have access to I cannot take it and see it Like even Later on, I would forget everything like if I think very very hard I can vaguely remember but it's Literally like amnesia and Weird schizo thoughts all the time, even the way I acted and my movements, even while walking it felt weird and I would black out and forget I existed
Now hear me this, I went like this for weeks, at this point I wanted to stop reverend insanity cause it made me suffer but get me this I'm bored and I open it up, I read like a few chapters AND BOOM! It's the part where Renzu goes INSANE! and he doesn't remember who he is or where he is, and then when he sees the birds he thinks he is one, when he sees the fish he thinks he is one and seeks Freedom Gu, at that point I was like WTF !!!! this can't be real, this cant be a coincidence, I had went insane and renzu was there like me, and then the fate war finished, Renzu hated fate and so did i, like for the first time in my life I was like holy shit WHY IS THE WORLD THE WAY IT IS? Why can't we just be happy all the time why do we have to suffer constantly? I understood there, ok so this world is suffering! Through constant change the only permanence is impermanence, I think it got me more into Non-duality religions and zen buddhism it's more interesting since they also get into the things I felt in these states
FUNNIEST SHIT : So later on, I accept this state, and I go to the beach with my family, and I am like oh this is the beach, I enter it and then BOOM! WTF this is literally Reverse flow River! The more I tried and got in the harder it pushed me out and It was literally like a revelation in my head lmfaaaao
i sound like this but I'm pretty serious most of the time but damn the legends of renzu is literally just mind-blowing, the more I reread it the more I understand more about life and the human condition, like when Renzu finds self Gu and It tells to WALK! he doesn't know how or where but self gu just tells him to WALK! Or when Forest samsara and the miniman built the ladder, and the miniman got out of Oradinary abyss, I literally feel these things, especially when Renzu faced that big predicament and it ate all his hearts, similarly I think I felt how it feels to go through what he went through, I think this goes to show what it means to be a Human Being
This is human path, i think at this point, my attainmentbhas reached Quasi-Supreme grandmaster thanks to Lsd and reverend insanity, But damn it was a HELLISH journey!
Taking Drugs and LSD and Becoming Fang Yuan and Fighting God
An Updated version of a previous post about me taking LSD and reading reverend insanity, Except this time, we have LSD (3500ug) months of doing it, shrooms loads, overdosing on Ketamine especially K-holes, 2-FMA, loads of tryptamines and other drugs, i had a previous post about this and this is what follows
I will restart from the beginning
In my 2nd LSD trip ever, which was 300ug and that's where shit gets very interesting, I literally felt I was FANG YUAN! AND LSD was Spring Autumn Cicada and Wisdom Gu ! Which gave me all these revelations from my future self, and I was Struck in a Time loop where I needed to realise what my Future Self was telling me, perhaps I had died in the future and finally returned to the Past to Survive with all these revelations
I also Felt I was gonna become like Fang Yuan and conquer this world, and this entire world was my own playground and Everything in it was at my Mercy and will one day come to belong to Me alone
I also thought like wait wtf, the sky is white heaven and space is black heaven, this is the gu world, I was in Central continent which is Europe and all this shit was beyond wild, like it feels like it's Literally the TRUTH like reality!
Fourth trip was something more insane, it was directly after it was revealed all of shadow sect was spectral soul's split soul, like the same day I took lsd and I literally felt I was God and everybody was my split soul and I had Created this entire world and Universe from scratch for my own entertainment
Everytime I call it the "Zone", where you feel "I Knew this" but I was made to forget it on purpose to play this character!
Now 5th trip was even crazier, I still thought I was God but I wasn't Fang Yuan, Rather fang yuan was gonna have to ascend to Venerable to fight ME because I am God !
But I also felt like fang yuan was another one of my split soul rebelling against me and trying to take my Position as God but it also felt like I was doing all this chaos just to entertain myself for Eternity and he was but a character
Now continue with me because my character development went exactly like the novel and especially the legends of renzu which I think is the best story about the human condition, but there is too much coincidence!
"City well is a secluded domain of heaven and earth, only by knowing you are inside of it can you get out", now I didn't give it much thought and coincidentally I took lsd the next day, AND then BOOM! I was like OK so this is city well, even if it's not, I can see that reality is not real, It's all just an Illusion made to make me fall asleep! But like then at that moment it was like damn!! Only by knowing you are inside a well can you get out of it and realise True Reality!
I felt I was trapped in this Illusion of Life and I needed to wake up and become God again
So this next part, I took LSD and it was the most intense trip I have ever had, i felt I was Boiling in lava literally, now as you might not now but lsd amplifies all emotions like 100x especially suffering like it lasts even after the trip, in this trip I had an intense ego death
I forgot everything and became a white empty slate, being Nothingness
This was really like rock bottom for me, like when I saw somebody I could vaguely feel I know this person but there were no memories, and I would have this voice in my head : "WHAT AM I?" "WHERE AM I " "WHY?" AND ALL this shit was crazy, I would think all day and i understood nothing about what the world was or how it worked, much like Renzu when he went Insane!
In this same way, I was trynna destroy and get out of Fate gu's bindings that was binding me to a mortal body and in this illusion
At this point, I went to the beach and it was very similar to Reverse flow river and it gave me a good contrast to my life which is me being pushed by the Sea of Fate
this till now was last year, now We Get into the Real shit thats interesting
In an mdma + Huge LSD dose, I saw God in his True infinite form, a Formless form, a huge void infinite white sky without limits, The Supreme Being, the only True existence, there came a merging, a me dissolving in God and Love and I was two steps from becoming God
but I had to give up my body and mind! but a thought stopped me that "I was gonna be Alone", a fear of Death, giving up Everything and Everyone and few thoughts rippled "I fear being God"
it dawned on me that perhaps the boredom and fear of being alone was what made me create the world but it later became clear that it was the human form/mind that feared that and not the real "Me"
After this experiences of rejecting the merging into God coupled with the mdma comedown made me go Through Literal Hell, feeling disfunctional, suffering bodily and insane anxiety, stress and suicidal thoughts that came with the comedown but It dawned on me that perhaps it was God's punishment for prefering the World to Him, "you came all this way yet refused me for this lowly world", it did feel terrifying and full of suffering but I came to transcend that suffering and reject God and his anger, what is he gonna do anyway?
But it went to Hell even more, that string of bad luck didn't end just like that, through some coincidences I ended up consuming 5x the normal dose of ketamine and it was HELL itself, I was Boiling, My heart would literally Explode every few seconds, sensations coming up and exploding me entirely
Yet I still went through it and Trascended it with anger and pride, what are you gonna do God? heh!
here is what he did, I accidently ingested 10x the normal ketamine dose AGAIN, this time HELL 50x, Literally BLACKING OUT every few minutes, waking in Hell again and again! to blacking out, this continued for 30 FUCKING HOURS! you cannot make this shit up, I am not lying, it was Death ITSELF!
after that I was just dead for a month, not eating, no water, bad sleep, stomach and head pain
Yet I still transcended it but this time with surrender to God although I didn't still accept him/I/it, whatever it was
This Hell did not stop but kept going, I felt I was going against God himself and constantly fighting him and the demons in my head, I had entirely given up on Fang yuan and me
After that, I went through another mdma + lsd + shrooms trip, I found God again and repented but when he wanted me to dissolve in him, I refused Again, I will not return if I do not choose to!
Hell continued again, Anything I did, everything I valued, All my soul and blood was taken from me, catastrophy fell upon me till the point where there was no more "me"
Yet I saw here the wisdom and Cunningness of God, I had cut off all attachments, I had gone to the core of my being and cut everything till the last threads remained and then I cut those as well till nothing remains
Months have passed since then, I'm prepared for a New Showdown in the next coming days, I'm gonna fight God again and this time I WILL WIN!
Fighting God while taking drugs and inhabiting the spirit of Fang yuan
Taking drugs in a forest alone and feeling like a God with epic music on the background while on psychedelics
I felt that me and the world and the entire universe were created by God and that he was all moving them like puppets on a string, all imaginary in his own mind
and that I was the only One who was gonna rebel and refuse him, I was the one who was gonna transcend this world and everything and I was the One who was about to become God
I was moving with absolute confidence, I felt like I am God and the entire world was at my mercy
I felt that the spirit of Fang yuan wasn't just fighting Heaven's will but Gu zhu ren as well, the author himself and that the same way fang yuan was doing that, I the imaginary character was fighting against my author, God himself
I felt Fang yuan as this absolute spirit of Absolute freedom moving through me, I even stumbled in the outer of the forest and was moving near a highway and with cars all moving with all the noise and the possibility of being crushed at any moment coupled with the absolute Epic music, I felt like a God conquering everything and nothing could stand in front of me
That was It! I felt this absolute adrenaline and excitment flowing through my veins, and I heard this in my head "God alone exists, limitless, eternal, all-encompassing" and I was that!
and with the absolute excitment and otherwordly epic music I was transcending my individuality and becoming God and I felt all this energy flowing through me, Life itself, this absolute freedom and limitlesness!
I was absolutely Free!
Eternal Life is Real, I found it.
Here is Eternal life I offer to you for free, rare are the ones who will actually see it
You are not actually the avatar, neither your body nor mind
you are "Awareness"
You are just aware of a human being, aware of his thoughts and his action but you are not him
Imagine a Vr headset, thats kinda of how reality is, you watch a character in a movie but you think its you, I am here to show you True Reality
You are not the character in the game
rather you are God and you imagine the entire world and all the avatars including your own
In truth, the entire world has no reality, it is as unreal as a Dream, simply made out of God's imagination, In truth, I am You, You are Me
There is only one soul that experiences all lives, One Life that exists in everything
If you just put the ego, the character's personality in the trash it would be clearer
In truth, you are not touched by the character's sufferings, you just hear him and feel him but you are not affected, immovable
You already are Eternal, the entire world is merely a play plastered on a Stage, the play of life is an illusion, the stage is Real and Eternal
Here it is, Eternity without Effort, there was no need to chase eternity simply change the wrong view into the correct one
And realise that already Everything is God, the world is literally made out of Consciousness and the entire point of it is To Experience
To experience different forms, you are the dog, the cat, the tree, the sky, there is only one component to the world and that component is you
In the Vast Ocean of God, Bubbles of universes arises, linger and disappear
The Formless masquareding with forms and different masks
Throw all the masks and your godhood becomes clear, you create the world not the other way around
In truth, none of the imagination exists
There is Only God existing in nothingness, and that is who you are
Eternity itself, that is what you are!
you can't imagine using the Avatar's mind, you can try to bypass it and see it but it takes time, thats what enlightenement is
the Beauty of Existence www.reddit.com/ReverendInsanity/comments/13rxei8/i_made_a_meme_about_all_the_drama_in_this/
The fact That only this post was Not Banned
The fact that finally some positive interactions after lots of sufferings
And the fact that i accidently today took lsd out of nowhere
And the Fact that "We are God and this entire world is our game" flashed on while I was Despairing truly, while on lsd
I Swear to God, now I remember, I was made to forget
Especially since I thought these past few days that God was a Void of nothingness
and I saw it with such certainty that it put despair into my heart literally
And while I was despairing I saw the part where Light said "We are God, wake up" and it hits me like a truck and I remember it now
I remember Now! If you are still asleep by now, time to wake up
This Entire World is the Novel of God
Not gods, the One God, All Existence
I think God loves me for how much suffering I've been through, so much hatred in this sub
financial situation, literally him sending me Pain literally, Just understand I myself am a character without true volition, everything I say or do is a part of a script
And i fucking love playing my part
You would say you reek of ego but remember we all are God literally
its impossible to see it since all come from different parts and perspectives
All is One, a Story beautiful beyond description and we all characters within it
And I am fang yuan hahahaha
I know its all insane and crazy but just imagine what if?
what if, even if it was a miniscule chance
What if it all was true!
from my perspective, It is! and It is absolutely amazing and completely invigorated me and put fire in my soul, but from another it wouldnt make sense
but oh well one day you'll see...
The World Exists inside the Mind of God
Do you want the truth? Or stay in your bubble?
The World exists inside the Mind of God
The same way when you read a Novel, the Entire World is Inside your Mind
but you live as the character
so You are Fang yuan when you read Reverend insanity since its an imaginary character, you exist, fang yuan doesnt but you become him and he becomes real
Your imagination gave "words" Life and they became alive and became The gu world, fang yuan and all characters
In this same way, so is The world of human beings existing in the exact same way inside the timeless spaceless Mind of God
The Mind of God is Timeless because Time itself is a thought in this unlimited Mind
This Mind is Limitless since it can imagine anything effortlessly, It is Spaceless meaning existing before Space because it imagines it, It exists everywhere and nowhere and only It exists
God imagines our world and we all are imaginary characters and dont have a solid existence outside being imagined
But the same way you are Fang yuan when you read the story so I am and We all are actually God, God imagining and being his Imagination
we all are the One Mind that created the World but cannot see it because the same way when you read the character, you forget this world and live in the novel, so you forget who you are and become the character as is God's desire to experience existence gives birth to the world and all its forms
Reverend insanity is a story of just that, Pursuing one's birth right, Only an infinite Being originally would want to become infinite once being reduced to a finite being, it is a deep ingrained thing in our being
both Existence and Non-existence, Existence means life and being conscious, Non-existence describes something similar to the sleep state, if you notice deeply then you would see that Sleep is Void, there is no blackness or whiteness or anything, that's non-existence
Well, in Truth both existence and non-existence, conscious and sleep state are not real, The One that Is Aware of them IS THE REAL
Since God imagines these but they are not God! Not the True Reality
I can't describe what it is to reach Eternal Life thus paradoxical language used to try and approach it but it is true people have always wrong in assuming life or death exist since neither actually do since they are created (imagined), the one who is aware of them does, the One without cause, the Uncreated is the Real
God alone exists and we all are One, Immortal, imperishable!
There is no need to chase Eternal life, Eternity isnt something to attain
here is the Truth
There is no "me", there is no "you"
God alone exists and we are That!
Say it with me :
I am God, the self of all, of this there is no doubt.
I am One with no other, the only Truth, the single essence
I am Eternal, Formless, Solitary, Endless!
I alone exist! limitless, eternal, all-encompassing!
Truly I alone exist! all pervasive and never-ending!
Indeed, my nature is pure intelligence
I am infinite, immutable, deathless
I experience neither joy or sorrow
nor do I know to whom these might appear to exist
I have no beginning or end
I was never born and will never die
I am the Supreme Reality, forever whole and undivided
If God alone exists Limitless and Infinite
If It is the Ultimate Truth itself that is all pervading as Space
How can there be a higher Supreme truth?
I am neither alive nor lifeless
I neither come nor go
I have no inside or outside
Not bound by birth or death, I light Eternity!
Not bound by time or space, I light Eternity!
Not bound by being or non-being, I light Eternity!
Not subject to creation and destruction, I light Eternity!
Truly I alone exist, Limitless, Eternal, all encompassing!
so do these words reveal the Absolute Truth of Reality.
The moment you Realise God Consciousness, You will be Eternal
The Entire World is an illusion swirling in God
This world of duality appears to have substance
But the Moment that you realize that the body, the world, and all other appearances are unreal and empty like sky,
then you become Brahman.
The paradigm of duality no longer applies to you.
The Entire World is a mirage with no existence
God alone exists
The Moment you realise God, Eternal life is yours
In Self, there is no time, no space, no matter
There is no beginning, no middle, no end.
Realise That which is all pervading As Space and Which Contains the Entire Universe
Meditate on God as the Source of All Creation
The Entire world has never existed yet appears to exist, its an illusion
The Moment God Consciousness is realised, One finds Eternity
In God, there is only one thing
Immaculate Pure Being
Infinite, empty, clear like sky
It is beyond time and space
it is beyond existence
The moment you realise God Consciousness, You will be Eternal
You are done with birth and death.
This is the Absolute Truth of Reality.
Well, after reading a few subs on episode 6, the peach falling in the intro, and now the Georgia tour guide, it made me think about military bases in Georgia.
I spent 12 years in the U.S. Navy, and I spent a few years on a Nuclear Submarine base. Our sister base was NSB Kings Bay, Georgia. I thought it was interesting the amount of military bases in GA. Kingsway is also right on the water, near the beach. The connection might be nothing, but a nuclear submarine base and half a dozen other military bases is interesting. I'm very interested to see where this leads, it's about to get wild in the SILO.
We both recently got into new relationships, i was super excited for them mainly because i never thought i would see the day! lol. I understand that changes in your love life can be exciting, it’s all you think & talk about, so i didn’t make a fuss for the first week when that was all i’d hear. But.. It slowly became all of our conversations, i couldn’t get a word in, when i would try it’d be ignored so my best friend could continue on with stories about them & their new partner. I started getting irritated, so naturally i brought it up after i realised it wasn’t just a one time thing. They responded by saying i did this as well, i asked them politely to read our messages and see i really did not. After that, they apologised and i thought things would go back to normal.
Days went on, it did NOT change, it was always about their newly found lover. Always. I’m going through a rough patch with my mental health and i was just too drained to respond, i told them this & they showed some interest, but not much. I used this as an excuse to avoid them. It’s really exhausting listening about their life all the time. Especially with what i’m going through right now. When i do respond now i get left on read most of the time, they only respond when they have drama or something in their life that they feel the need to talk about. Even though they know i am struggling right now, i don’t even get a “how are you?” from them, before they talk about themselves.
My own best friend. It sucks. It’s always been about them, i’m only just catching onto it now, i just feel like a scapegoat for them to complain about everything to. They’ve been there for me through some tough times, don’t get me wrong, but even with that.. It’s just not enough. I’m genuinely beginning to dislike them. I got left on read 2 days ago, a couple hours prior to this post they called me and said they forgot to reply, but that they need me so they can talk about some drama that happened last night. Ha. I haven’t responded. I don’t think i will for a few days.
We had a friend that did something similar, ditched everyone for their new partner, they trash talked this person like there was no tomorrow. Because of that. And yet, they are doing the same. I’m really hurt. The only friend i have is my boyfriend, now. I don’t want to be best friends with somebody so self-absorbed anymore. It drains you in the end.
Another thing i’ve noticed is, they make the effort to see all their other friends, except me. They’re always hanging out with somebody. The only effort they make with me, is an occasional phone call to talk about some childish bullshit. I am so tired of it. And yet when they tell others about me, I’m the bestest friend they have… It’s me over everyone? Makes sense. Doesn’t seem like it. Sometimes i forget they’re even an adult, with how they act.
We’ve been best friends for 7 years, is this really how it ends?
my girlfriend is tu today. we live together and we drank after each other and kissed each other yesterday. i kissed her this morning when i left the house and she hadn’t tu yet. she really thinks it’s some leftover seafood she had last night that my parents made on sunday. she had it really early this morning. what are the chances of me catching something from her? or is it most likely the seafood?
Pls keep in mind that english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes i will make. Also this is kind of a rant, i don‘t think it‘ll come far but i hope i might get some emotional support. My (F18) boyfriend (M19) are 4 years together (1st year normal and since then distance). We had our ups and downs, even on and offs. But it‘s almost a year back since we last broke up. He was my first everything and I was his first real and serious relationship.
We got together when i was 13 or 14 and he 14 or 15, so we were both really immature. In the beginning until 1 and a half or 2 years we were both pretty toxic. But he and i really changed a lot. We also didnt see much because of the distance and my mom. Idk if it’s necessary but for context i will put both our past in here, so maybe you can better understand where we both are coming from.
To me: i was in asian. My mom got pregnant pretty young and my bio dad went to grab some milk. She then met my current dad and we moved to Europe when i was very little. I cant even speak my moms language anymore. The got divorced a few years ago and i now live with my mom and stepdad (they arent married) and i visit my dad every other week. I was an only child but now i have a half sister and some step siblings. My dad was always the chilled one and my mom is typical asian strict. She would verbally and emotionally abuse me and it sometimes got physical. Cps got called one time but after a half year they stopped visiting (i said so) it got better but since i turned 18 and also months before she kind of used me for many house chores. I could gell more about it but it’s a different story. Well because of that i‘m acting like a crybaby and have no self-esteem. I could cry over such small things and get hurt because of simple words. In my group of friends i have the reputation to be strong and having a dark humor. So lets say i have different faces around particular people. In the lasts years till now i have thoughts to end it. I almost cry every night because of various things. Be it school, friends, family or my relationship. I don‘t want to say anything further, i don‘t think someone around me has reddit and especially don‘t think someone follows this sub, but im paranoid and it kinda hurts talking out loud. So lets summarize: though childhood, my character got damaged, i have too many problems with my self but im still here :D
About him: he‘s from islam culture. he was born where we currently live. His childhood where way worst than mine. He really got abused. I'm not exaggerating. His childhood was really bad. He wasn’t even allowed to go outside and meet with his friends. I think you know what i mean. His parents were narcissist and they had ridiculous rules. As one of the oldest siblings he had to protect his younger siblings.before his teens started he already was rebellious. Provoking, getting in trouble… even outside of family. In school, streets, drinking, smoking weed. He even got quite well-known because of this. When he moved away it all went down after a year. His parents separated and his siblings had to go to orphanages (?) and he moved to an apartment and started working. He was still a minor back then so if he didn‘t started to work he had to follow his younger siblings which he didnt want to. It was pretty though for him and especially money was tight. No he‘s doing much better but i can see and sometimes he also talks about that he feels so bad. Also thoughts of ending it. Since he live‘s alone he does things he wasn’t allowed to do, like spending time with friends or going out late, drinking and more. Also his job is quite hard. Even there is a toxic atmosphere and it damages him really hard and drags him down even more. Short summary: Shitty parents, bad childhood, now he lives alone and is pretty lonely thats why he does what he does.
Now to our relationship: Our communicating is much better than in the past but since we have a distance relationship it‘s still rough sometimes. And the fact that we are both surrounded by toxic people doesn’t help. Since i turned 18 we see each other much more. We also call everyday, normal or face time. We also talked about marriage, it has been a topic for really long time
Finally to the problem. My bf is almost everyday away with his friends, smoking, drinking, idk. I met them, i don’t really like them but they aren‘t my friends and i don’t want to forbid him his friends. But i have many personal problems with them. One of them even knows i don’t like him. I have a list of things why i have a problem: 1. he is neglecting me when it comes to them. He makes plans with them while he‘s with me (mind that we dont see each other often, and his friends are always there. 2. he makes plans with them and meets them while i am with him. He makes plans with them everyday and still meet them when i am with him. Why would he do that when we only have a limited time for us? 3. he made plans with him for a whole international vacation without even considering me. I know that sounds controlling, but we also had plans to go on vacation in the next summer. And now we are going somewhere here pretty cheap. Its not like we wound spend much. It‘ll definitely cost much, but we could‘ve go somewhere really special. I was really looking forward to it and he knew that. But thats a minimal problem i guess 4. he would change plans for them even if he had plans with me. 5. we wanted to meet last time around noon. He had to drive two hours. And he just arrived at 5pm. 6. i am always waiting for him to get back from hang outs and he would get me wait for 1-2 hours. And sometimes wont even get on the phone when i call because its somehow uncomfortable? 7. he knows i have trouble socializing and i can understand its not really his problem. But he literally wanted me to go home at night alone because he wanted to drink more with his friends. 8. he would drink with them all. The. Time. When i want to drink with him he says „yeah next time“ „i dont like drinking but if you really want to we can“. While he makes some kind of competition who drinks more.
Those are problems which seem smaller than they are. I do not have the emotional strength to go through all that again and explaining it further. I will them soon again and he says he will go out the whole night. He said he will bring me home when i have enough and go back and let me alone there.
I am really upset. I am shaking and crying right now because of that. I really wished at least one person would prioritize me, but i am always second option. Also again. Its a rant. I am just talking about negative feelings. Don‘t see he bad, he‘s still wonderful. But i just had to talk about it.
Anyways, hope yall are good
with best regards Y
Hiya baby bumps.
I am first time posting here, I don't know if this is the right so if I am in the wrong sub please refer me to right if it's possible and remove this.
I am taking prenatal, PreMama exactly and utrogestan 2 times daily morning and evening. Started them yesterday and the evening dose made me groggy and like I've taken 10 benzoyl. I am thinking it was utrogestan, but I took today the morning dose and I was fine no groggines, took the evening dose of prenatal vitamins, and utrogestan and again I am feeling soooooo much lightheaded dizzy honestly my writing is bit impaired, taught process to be exactly.i feel high, last night lasted I think half hour, maybe hour. Got time distortion also, like 5 minutes pass and I think hour has passed.
Please please if anyone has had the same issue is it safe, what's causing it, will it pass? I have itchiness too, didn't had that with the morning utrogestan dose.
What do I do, I'll call doctor tomorrow morning it's late right now. But any advice is more than appreciated. Feeling is like I am drunk, or high( I am guessing that's the feeling you get while high).
Could it be from the vitamins, I had never had reaction to vitamins or minerals like this, tough I never took prenatal, and these have too many vitamins and minerals.
Sorry for the mess of post, I really can't even make proper sentences idk.
Edit: I take only prenatal, utrogestan and folic acid, have been taking folic for week and didn't have these problem
Well, I don't know if I'm in the right place, but I can't find an answer to it.
I often dream of a girl that I really like and the dreams are usually different in a dream she ignored me and didn't talk to me and this night I dreamed of her again and she talked to me, laughed and we spent time in the dream.
Meaning that maybe I really like them and should talk to them or something else
It’s been a few weeks since I picked up my first sandbag for training. 150 pounds. I’ve been exercising for about 9 years now and have tried it all and the last 2 years have really been focused on functional strength training and the last 6 months have been heavily focused on unconventional training I.e. clubs maces and KB(which is fairly conventional) and sandbags have been an absolute game changer. I instantly feel stronger in jiujitsu and have been able to just manhandle people like never before. This training makes me feel like my whole body is working together and no muscle is left untouched. I feel more rugged and sturdy and I’m not sure if I’ve heard this somewhere but if feels like sandbags develop cohesive strength more so than BB deadlifts and squats and I’ve just ordered my second sandbag and can’t wait to see what else this training has to offer.
It’s transition day. I am in my usual feelings, though my coping mechanisms seem to adjust slightly every other week. Today I am choosing not to complain. I went for a solo walk- headphones in, secretly practicing good posture (cool coping skill)—Cut to the end of my walk—extreme rain, thunder and lightning. I’m psyched about it.
On a a day like this, with my SO, SS7, and SO’s friend/ landscaping buddy being the only other people around, I feel extra isolated.
Point being: As an adult female step and student making time to do homework and fold this child’s laundry on my day off from work, Mother Nature is truly my only down ass sister and she really brought it today.
Thank you Mother Nature. You make children of us all.
PS: ss7 asked where daddy was and I said, masking my frustration, “he’s in the garage with his friend” … then I heard SS say, from down the hall, “boys club!”
Again, I’m psyched. Huge fan of boys clubs and Mother Nature in ways that used to bum me out.
Hang tight y’all. 🤍
So I've been thinking a lot about this lately, about how exactly has Linux been able to survive for so long against Window's near total monopoly despite not being backed by any major player, other historically important OS's like the Amiga and Atari OS's we're not able to survive into the modern era but somehow Linux has, why is this the case, if you think you have the answer to this question then please let me know below in the comment section.