Advanced standing dental program
ADAT
2021.07.08 05:45 Distinct-Dinner1101 ADAT
Advanced Dental Admission Test for Advanced Standing and Specialty Training in the US.
2023.06.04 19:32 Super_Govedo Virtualization enabled, Virtual machine platform enabled, Win Subsystem for Android installed, WSA Package Installer (PacMan) connected, .apk installed, Apps won't open. Any clue? Sometimes I see app open but closes immediately.
 | submitted by Super_Govedo to Windows11 [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 19:30 Cultural_Estimate_90 Set Idea: The Venture Company (Office humor themed expansion)
We all know Hearthstone is never to be always taken seriously. While we've had serious expansions like March of the Lich King and Dragons' Descent, we've also had silly ones like Kobolds and Catacombs and Festival of Legends. This one is of the latter, a humorous work-themed expansion featuring the recurring WOW enemy group, the Venture Company.
Intro: The Venture Company is a business cartel in WOW that often presents itself as a minor antagonist, often stripping the lands of resources and performing acts of greed and such. So I thought of doing an office-themed expansion with them would be hilareous. Now before you dismiss the theme of it being office humor, let's not forget the humor of Dilbert and shows like the Office (both the British and the American versions). Plus, there's plenty of oppurtunities to include the wacky and rather violent side of Hearthstone.
New Term/Mechanic: Promotion. Since the theme of this expansion is "corporate", naturally a goal of an employee (AKA your minion) is to get promoted to a new monster for prestige, power, and rewards. Promotion minions have special conditions, similar to quests, that must fufilled before they can upgrade to a stronger form. But unlike quests, you can halt them by removing the minion naturally.
Let me give you an example:
Delivery Whisp: 1 Mana Druid minion. 1/1. Gain a random 1-mana druid spell at the beginning of each turn. Promotion: Refresh 3 empty mana crystals. Becomes Traveling Treant. Artwork is a whisp carrying a letter in its mouth.
Traveling Treant. 3-Mana druid minion. 3/3. Gain a random 3-mana druid spell card at the beginning of each turn. Promotion. Refresh 5 empty crystals. Becomes Ancient of Ordering. Artwork is a treant carrying a mail sack and wearing a cap.
Ancient of Ordering. 5-mana druid minion. 5/5. Gain a random 5-7 mana druid spell card at the beginning of each turn. Cost is lowered by 2 this turn. Artwork is an ancient in a suit, sitting at a desk, while talking on a crystal ball like its a phone, while night elf assistant brings him coffee.
So basically, by fufilling special quest-like conditions, you can get stronger monsters. Note, when a monster is promoted, they're counted as freshly summoned, so they can not attack the same turn they transform. But, you can attack with said minion before the promotion and then promote them.
I'm still thinking themes if there should be any for the classes, but I've come to the idea that half the legendaries should be members of Venture Corp's board of directors. Here's some ideas I had:
1: Neutral. Mogul Razdunk (He was the president until you kill him in the MOTHERLODE!!! dungeon of Battle for Azeroth).
2: Druid. Oakland, Chairman of the Board. He'd be a treant ancient...get the pun?
3: Paladin. Mr. Hammerton, Director of Displine. A dwarf paladin, whose artwork would be him sitting with a huge hammer freshly smashed on his desk.
Some card ideas I thought of, though not all with artwork and/or effects include:
1: Overtime. Mage card. Artwork is a mage groaning as a bronze whelpling resets the clock with magic. Maybe something like getting extra mana but with a cost next turn? (Like start with a lower number; not as an overload, but more like you're worn out from last turn?)
2: Zoological Meeting. Hunter card. Artwork is Rexxar in a suit (or any other hunter) having a conference meeting, but all the employees are various animals sitting around a table. Like a nightsaber on a chair, a bear (misha?) on the opposite end, a bat monster hanging from the ceiling, a crocodile sticking its head out from under the table, etc? Maybe it could be something like drawing various beasts but only of different mana costs?
3: Downsizing. Paladin spell. A giant (sea, rock, etc) gulping as he's stands shrunken to the giant-sized hammer of Mr. Hammerton. Maybe something that drops stats or moves the minion back into the deck?
4: YOU'RE FIRED! Mage, warlock, or shaman card. (Whatever fits best). A fleeing goblin with his rear end on fire, as fire blasts are being thrown at him from someone off-panel. Maybe something about destroying a minion but with some cost or twist?
5: Paycheck Advance. Rogue spell. A hungry-looking rogue character holding a paycheck, a bubble coming from their stomach indicating groaning. I was thinking this card could be an extra draw or something, but at the cost of skipping your draw phase next turn.
So let me know your thoughts and any ideas you guys have yourself? And like my other ideas, feel free to do any art or card ideas of your own.
submitted by Cultural_Estimate_90 to hearthstone [link] [comments]
Intro: The Venture Company is a business cartel in WOW that often presents itself as a minor antagonist, often stripping the lands of resources and performing acts of greed and such. So I thought of doing an office-themed expansion with them would be hilareous. Now before you dismiss the theme of it being office humor, let's not forget the humor of Dilbert and shows like the Office (both the British and the American versions). Plus, there's plenty of oppurtunities to include the wacky and rather violent side of Hearthstone.
New Term/Mechanic: Promotion. Since the theme of this expansion is "corporate", naturally a goal of an employee (AKA your minion) is to get promoted to a new monster for prestige, power, and rewards. Promotion minions have special conditions, similar to quests, that must fufilled before they can upgrade to a stronger form. But unlike quests, you can halt them by removing the minion naturally.
Let me give you an example:
Delivery Whisp: 1 Mana Druid minion. 1/1. Gain a random 1-mana druid spell at the beginning of each turn. Promotion: Refresh 3 empty mana crystals. Becomes Traveling Treant. Artwork is a whisp carrying a letter in its mouth.
Traveling Treant. 3-Mana druid minion. 3/3. Gain a random 3-mana druid spell card at the beginning of each turn. Promotion. Refresh 5 empty crystals. Becomes Ancient of Ordering. Artwork is a treant carrying a mail sack and wearing a cap.
Ancient of Ordering. 5-mana druid minion. 5/5. Gain a random 5-7 mana druid spell card at the beginning of each turn. Cost is lowered by 2 this turn. Artwork is an ancient in a suit, sitting at a desk, while talking on a crystal ball like its a phone, while night elf assistant brings him coffee.
So basically, by fufilling special quest-like conditions, you can get stronger monsters. Note, when a monster is promoted, they're counted as freshly summoned, so they can not attack the same turn they transform. But, you can attack with said minion before the promotion and then promote them.
I'm still thinking themes if there should be any for the classes, but I've come to the idea that half the legendaries should be members of Venture Corp's board of directors. Here's some ideas I had:
1: Neutral. Mogul Razdunk (He was the president until you kill him in the MOTHERLODE!!! dungeon of Battle for Azeroth).
2: Druid. Oakland, Chairman of the Board. He'd be a treant ancient...get the pun?
3: Paladin. Mr. Hammerton, Director of Displine. A dwarf paladin, whose artwork would be him sitting with a huge hammer freshly smashed on his desk.
Some card ideas I thought of, though not all with artwork and/or effects include:
1: Overtime. Mage card. Artwork is a mage groaning as a bronze whelpling resets the clock with magic. Maybe something like getting extra mana but with a cost next turn? (Like start with a lower number; not as an overload, but more like you're worn out from last turn?)
2: Zoological Meeting. Hunter card. Artwork is Rexxar in a suit (or any other hunter) having a conference meeting, but all the employees are various animals sitting around a table. Like a nightsaber on a chair, a bear (misha?) on the opposite end, a bat monster hanging from the ceiling, a crocodile sticking its head out from under the table, etc? Maybe it could be something like drawing various beasts but only of different mana costs?
3: Downsizing. Paladin spell. A giant (sea, rock, etc) gulping as he's stands shrunken to the giant-sized hammer of Mr. Hammerton. Maybe something that drops stats or moves the minion back into the deck?
4: YOU'RE FIRED! Mage, warlock, or shaman card. (Whatever fits best). A fleeing goblin with his rear end on fire, as fire blasts are being thrown at him from someone off-panel. Maybe something about destroying a minion but with some cost or twist?
5: Paycheck Advance. Rogue spell. A hungry-looking rogue character holding a paycheck, a bubble coming from their stomach indicating groaning. I was thinking this card could be an extra draw or something, but at the cost of skipping your draw phase next turn.
So let me know your thoughts and any ideas you guys have yourself? And like my other ideas, feel free to do any art or card ideas of your own.
2023.06.04 19:28 Icy_Appointment8852 [Election] The Tibi Affair; The Collapse of the 37th Israeli Government, and 2024 Knesset Elections.
02:00 Harimon Street, Hehmed, Suburb of Tel Aviv.
5.6 Kilometers away from Ben Gurion International Airport.
Mansour Tibi was hurriedly packing as much of his life as he possibly could into his car. Two suitcases. That was all he was intending on taking with him. Having already made arrangements to have his neighbours take care of what remained, he was sure that nothing could go wrong.
As he stuffed the oversized suitcases into the back of his car, a nondescript white van screeched into view and pulled up aside him. Soon, the suitcases remained in his car, while the van pulled away at speed, and Mansour was nowhere to be found.
Segen (Lieutenant) Mansour Tibi was an Arab Israeli officer within the Air Intelligence Group (Lahak Modi'in) within Israeli Military Intelligence (Agaf HaModi'in). He was primarily charged with intelligence operations focused on analyzing maintenance-supportive operations. On his possession at the time of capture by Shin Bet agents, Segen Tibi possessed documents pertaining to military intelligence operations abroad, with a focus on the IDF's assessment of adversary capabilities. His purchase of tickets to Mexico was flagged by Shin Bet, and an investigation was launched leading to his capture.
Segen Tibi has been charged with treason and espionage and a wide variety of other offences, and is due to be tried by the military tribunal in the Central and Air Force District in accordance with Israeli law.
The primary accusation levelled at the Coalition over the Tibi Affair appears to be at the Minister of Intelligence's failure to spot Tibi's potential defection earlier. Yet Government MKs have expressed bewilderment at the Opposition's accusations, as Tibi was apprehended before any sensitive information had left Israel.
Polling has shown that the so-called "Tibi Affair" has not significantly damaged the perception of the Coalition as it stands especially as after the past few years, the Coalition's diplomatic successes in establishing relations with Arab nations, and on other fronts have been wildly praised. Besides the Exemption Scandal in 2023, the Coalition's work has surprised most analysts as the political situation in Israel has been broadly stabilised compared to the 2018-2022 Crisis.
Having considered the political situation, and his ability to nip scandals in the bud before they get any worse, Netanyahu has put forward a bill to dissolve the Knesset and call for elections, which has received assent.
State of the Parties
Netanyahu has been praised by Israelis on the right for his handling of the Territories, further expanding settler rights and infrastructure in the area. With economic growth strong, and further supported by increased capital spending, Likud appears to be in a very strong position going into the elections.
The only thing stopping BB now is the inevitable march of time that comes for us all.
submitted by Icy_Appointment8852 to Geosim [link] [comments]
5.6 Kilometers away from Ben Gurion International Airport.
Mansour Tibi was hurriedly packing as much of his life as he possibly could into his car. Two suitcases. That was all he was intending on taking with him. Having already made arrangements to have his neighbours take care of what remained, he was sure that nothing could go wrong.
As he stuffed the oversized suitcases into the back of his car, a nondescript white van screeched into view and pulled up aside him. Soon, the suitcases remained in his car, while the van pulled away at speed, and Mansour was nowhere to be found.
Segen (Lieutenant) Mansour Tibi was an Arab Israeli officer within the Air Intelligence Group (Lahak Modi'in) within Israeli Military Intelligence (Agaf HaModi'in). He was primarily charged with intelligence operations focused on analyzing maintenance-supportive operations. On his possession at the time of capture by Shin Bet agents, Segen Tibi possessed documents pertaining to military intelligence operations abroad, with a focus on the IDF's assessment of adversary capabilities. His purchase of tickets to Mexico was flagged by Shin Bet, and an investigation was launched leading to his capture.
Segen Tibi has been charged with treason and espionage and a wide variety of other offences, and is due to be tried by the military tribunal in the Central and Air Force District in accordance with Israeli law.
Times of Israel, 5th of November 2024
Yesh Atid calls on Minister of Intelligence to resign; Netanyahu to call elections.
Yair Lapid of Yesh Atid expressed outrage at the failure of the Government to preempt the potential defection of Segen Tibi with a large quantity of classified military intelligence documents. Lapid, who has served as the Leader of the Opposition since 2022, called it "yet another Netanyahu shambles" and has called for elections to let the Israeli people decide whether they approve of the actions of the Hardline Coalition's actions over the course of the Tibi Affair.The primary accusation levelled at the Coalition over the Tibi Affair appears to be at the Minister of Intelligence's failure to spot Tibi's potential defection earlier. Yet Government MKs have expressed bewilderment at the Opposition's accusations, as Tibi was apprehended before any sensitive information had left Israel.
Polling has shown that the so-called "Tibi Affair" has not significantly damaged the perception of the Coalition as it stands especially as after the past few years, the Coalition's diplomatic successes in establishing relations with Arab nations, and on other fronts have been wildly praised. Besides the Exemption Scandal in 2023, the Coalition's work has surprised most analysts as the political situation in Israel has been broadly stabilised compared to the 2018-2022 Crisis.
Having considered the political situation, and his ability to nip scandals in the bud before they get any worse, Netanyahu has put forward a bill to dissolve the Knesset and call for elections, which has received assent.
Likud
Netanyahu has served as Prime Minister for five terms so far, having enjoyed over 17 years in office on a non-continuous basis. If elected to yet another term, BB as he is known, will be 80 years old at the end of that term. Yet age does not appear to be a concern for Likud party members, and appear to back their man all the way back to the Prime Minister's office.Netanyahu has been praised by Israelis on the right for his handling of the Territories, further expanding settler rights and infrastructure in the area. With economic growth strong, and further supported by increased capital spending, Likud appears to be in a very strong position going into the elections.
Yesh Atid
Yesh Atid has been weakened as a result of what voters have viewed as "ineffective opposition" to the present Coalition Government. While Yesh Atid have tried to opposite many of the Coalition's proposals, infighting due to the Territory question has caused significant problems with the party's ability to present a unified front. Viewed by voters as a less effective Likud, Yesh Atid has suffered significantly as a result of BB's success.Shas
Shas, as the party for the Sephardi, Mizrahi, and Haredim Jews has had a broadly mixed record in Government with Netanyahu. While they have enjoyed voters closely associating them with BB, and the recent success of the Hardline politics demonstrated by the Coalition, Shas particularly has suffered slightly as a result of them holding the Government hostage over ending exceptions for Haredi Jews within the military draft system.Israel Resilience Party
The IRP has demonstrated good judgement by refusing to attack the Government over the Tibi Affair, rather focusing on the deteriorating relations within the Territories and the need for equalizing the economic successes within Israel more broadly.Others
Broadly speaking, Government partners have benefited from economic and diplomatic successes. Although the Israeli Labour Party has enjoyed an uptick in support especially as the gap between the richest Israelis and the working classes has grown bigger under the Hardline Coalition's economic program.| Party | Ideology | Number of Knesset Seats Won | Increase/Decrease on 2022 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Likud | "National Zionist liberalism" | 35 | +3 |
| Yesh Atid | Zionist Liberalism | 13 | -4 |
| Shas | Religious conservatism | 11 | +2 |
| Israeli Resilience Party | Social liberalism | 10 | +2 |
| Yamina | National conservatism | 8 | +1 |
| Israeli Labour Party | Social democracy | 9 | +2 |
| United Torah Judaism | Religious conservatism | 9 | +2 |
| Yisrael Beiteinu | Nationalist Secularism | 5 | -2 |
| Religious Zionist Party | Religious Zionism | 7 | +2 |
| Otzma Yehudit | Kahanism | 1 | +/- 0 |
| New Hope | National liberalism | 1 | -5 |
| Meretz | Social democracy | 7 | +1 |
| Ra'am | Islamism | 5 | +1 |
Times of Israel 15th of December, 2024
Post Election Coalition talks lead to a return of Netanyahu
Following a brief negotiation period, the incumbent Coalition which has worked so surprisingly well over the past number of years, have agreed to extend the Coalition for another term, along with the inclusion of Yamina.The only thing stopping BB now is the inevitable march of time that comes for us all.
2023.06.04 19:23 AgileAd9579 Help with warm/cool undertone
 | Hi all! I recently lost some weight and as I try to figure out my new wardrobe, I’d like to make it a capsule style, meaning it all has to go together. I am also very new to color analysis, and am completely failing at it! Please help me! I have been told I am potentially an autumn, but I don’t really gravitate towards warm colors? Most of my wardrobe is black, navy and green. A few whites but I don’t really wear them. I hunted through our apartment, borrowed a few of my husbands things, even used an ikea bag for color swatches - but I just can’t tell! I get sunburn, I get very red when I workout or drink, and I blush when embarrassed - someone told me that means I’m cool toned? My veins run deep, and I’m currently living in Texas (originally Swedish), so having a little tan isn’t helping the vein test. I also don’t think I have any features that stand out, but I’m also so used to my own face that I could be wrong, lol! That makes the chroma thing hard to see. submitted by AgileAd9579 to coloranalysis [link] [comments] Any and all thoughts very welcome! Thank you in advance! |
2023.06.04 19:23 AutoModerator [Complete] Charisma University by Charlie Houpert
Contact me on (+44) 7593880762 on Telegram/WhatsApp if you have interest in Charilie Houpert - Charisma University course.
Charisma University by Charlie Houpert is the ultimate tool for mastering the art of charm and making lasting impressions. With Charisma University, you will:
Contact us today if you are interested in Charisma University in one of the following ways:
Reddit DM to u/RequestCoursesAccess
WhatApp/Telegram: (+44) 7593880762
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets).
submitted by AutoModerator to TheCharismaCommand [link] [comments]
Charisma University by Charlie Houpert is the ultimate tool for mastering the art of charm and making lasting impressions. With Charisma University, you will:
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Contact us today if you are interested in Charisma University in one of the following ways:
Reddit DM to u/RequestCoursesAccess
WhatApp/Telegram: (+44) 7593880762
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets).
2023.06.04 19:21 tlsgmlwls University of Toronto Medical Biophysics PhD vs UCLA RA for 1 year then direct admission PhD
I have a PhD offer from UofT in the MBP department with a potential prof that is willing to take me in. But I also have a UCLA PI who offered me a RA position for a year who is also willing to vouch for me for a direct admission the year after into the PhD program. My question is: which one should I take? Does anyone know how the direct admission works? Because I heard that ultimately, it is the school that makes the decision and not the prof who vouched for me. How much of an influence do they have? Both schools have research that I am interested in, but to me at the moment, UCLA research is more interesting than at UofT. However, I would like to pursue my PhD. I am also worried that I will not be able to have as many opportunities to work in the US if I graduate from UofT compared to if I was to graduate from UCLA (Canadian citizen for the reference). Thank you all in advance
submitted by tlsgmlwls to gradadmissions [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 19:20 alisngn Applied to affiliated university college by accident
Basically, at first I didn’t plan to go to Western, so I barely paid attention to what I applied. I was planning to go to Rotman instead, and my second option was to do Ivey 3rd year at Western. So I just choose to a random program to do for the first 2 years, which is Finance and Wealth Management. Today, after checking my residence and stuff, I realized this program is not at Western main campus, but is at an affiliated university college of Western (which is King’s University college). It was my fault for not doing enough research of course. I just wanna ask if there is a way to solve this situation, for example is it possible for me to transfer to main campus some time? If not what should I do? Thank you in advance.
submitted by alisngn to OntarioUniversities [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 19:16 Snoo89162 TMDSAS question
So I am working on my application and I was watching a video where they did a dental panel with directors of admissions from Texas dental schools. Now there is a new section called "dental experience" and another section called "healthcare activities" Well based in this video they agreed that in the dental experience section, we will put shadowing, employment anything related to dental (obviously), and now for the healthcare activities well is everything else like maybe someone shadowed a physician or something like that. Well, I always wanted to be a dentist and never doubt that, therefore, all my experiences after high school have been related to dentistry like volunteering, employment (7 years of DA experience) and pre-dental programs and everything is related to dentistry. How bad or terrible will affect me if I leave those "healthcare activities" empty since I do not have anything that I can add? Thanks
submitted by Snoo89162 to predental [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 19:14 honestmaniac Dictator commercial
I am searching for a commercial I have seen a few years back on YouTube. There was a dictator like Kim Jong Un, who was standing with his wife Infront of a crows full of army soldiers. And it was like rather tense atmosphere. Than the soldiers did something, like go into a formation or lift up signs or something and a huge picture formed of the crowd that was like a declaration of Love for his wife. It was really heart warming and lovey dovey. I believed it to be a coca cola commerical, or maybe Pepsi. Frankly I am not too sure tho. And I might even got some details wrong. But maybe anyone here remembers something similar?
Thanks in advance!
submitted by honestmaniac to HelpMeFind [link] [comments]
Thanks in advance!
2023.06.04 19:13 Feeling_Cry4926 I hate my birthday.
This might be all over the place because I’m still upset and processing, sorry in advance lol. My birthday is coming up this month. For the last three years my mom (narcissist) has forgotten my birthday and my brother has to remind her.
So I call my mom and casually bring up my birthday because for once I’m kind of excited. She IMMEDIATELY has to say that HER birthday is coming up and asks me what gift I’m getting her. For reference… her birthday is in August. I asked her what she was getting me for my birthday since it’s coming up sooner (not that I ever expect anything lol) and all she says is, “I do enough for you already.”
She then proceeds to say that my birthday is actually OUR birthday because “we almost died together” so if anything I should be getting her a gift for giving me life.
The reference to almost dying by the way is her having preeclampsia and toxemia while she was pregnant with me and them having to do an emergency cesarean at 6 months. She barely drank water during the pregnancy and drank an entire bottle of wine in her first trimester. Also, her doctor explicitly told her to stop having children after my brother because of the possible complications… and she didn’t listen.
Every year she makes my birthday about her because “she almost died” but if she would’ve just listened to her doctor none of that would have happened!!
Honorable mentions of things she has made about her: My relationship (she says she wants to wear white on my wedding day and stand up there with me… not happening. She also got angry about my boyfriend having to ask my dad for my hand in marriage because she’s the parent and she doesn’t want to share me). My traumatic car accident (when I told her the news she hung up on me because “she couldn’t handle the news”). My lung collapse in high school (started sobbing inconsolably in the emergency room so that she’d get some attention… while they intubated me).
The more I distance myself the happier I feel with my life. I don’t want her anywhere in my life and once I graduate college I want to go no contact.
submitted by Feeling_Cry4926 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
So I call my mom and casually bring up my birthday because for once I’m kind of excited. She IMMEDIATELY has to say that HER birthday is coming up and asks me what gift I’m getting her. For reference… her birthday is in August. I asked her what she was getting me for my birthday since it’s coming up sooner (not that I ever expect anything lol) and all she says is, “I do enough for you already.”
She then proceeds to say that my birthday is actually OUR birthday because “we almost died together” so if anything I should be getting her a gift for giving me life.
The reference to almost dying by the way is her having preeclampsia and toxemia while she was pregnant with me and them having to do an emergency cesarean at 6 months. She barely drank water during the pregnancy and drank an entire bottle of wine in her first trimester. Also, her doctor explicitly told her to stop having children after my brother because of the possible complications… and she didn’t listen.
Every year she makes my birthday about her because “she almost died” but if she would’ve just listened to her doctor none of that would have happened!!
Honorable mentions of things she has made about her: My relationship (she says she wants to wear white on my wedding day and stand up there with me… not happening. She also got angry about my boyfriend having to ask my dad for my hand in marriage because she’s the parent and she doesn’t want to share me). My traumatic car accident (when I told her the news she hung up on me because “she couldn’t handle the news”). My lung collapse in high school (started sobbing inconsolably in the emergency room so that she’d get some attention… while they intubated me).
The more I distance myself the happier I feel with my life. I don’t want her anywhere in my life and once I graduate college I want to go no contact.
2023.06.04 19:13 HippyPixieEmoKid AITA for potentially splitting up my family?
Trigger warnings: depression, emotional, mental and physical abuse, child abuse, abortions, suicide idealations and attempts.
Backstory: I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 13 years old, although some doctors believe I'd been having seizures since I was as young as 6 or 7. I was also diagnosed with manic depression/bipolar disorder when I was 16.
At 21 I gave birth to my first daughter, M. A little under two years later I had my second daughter, A. The first pregnancy wasn't easy and I had a lot of seizures during the course of the pregnancy. Many trips to the hospital to make sure baby was safe. But after I gave birth I jumped straight into motherhood. I lived roughly 4 hours away from my parents and struggled with feeling homesick frequently. I called my dad daily for parenting advice, to vent, to update him, and also to help subside that homesick feeling. Regardless though, I was a very attentive and active mom. I spent all of my time with M. She was my best friend. I LOVED being a mom and I was THRIVING. After M turned 1, I moved back "home" and moved back in with my parents. My second pregnancy was much the same. Uncomfortable pregnancy, many seizures. However with this pregnancy I had some complications that caused A to be born 10 weeks early. This caused A to spend the first several months of her life in the nicu and even had to have gastral intestinal surgery before she was even 4 months old. Due to my epilepsy I do not drive, but I did everything I could in my power to see my A as frequently and for as long as I could. Visiting hours were somewhat restricting though.
At some point in time I started displaying symptoms of postpartum depression that was heavily exasperated by my manic depression. I was at an all time low. The physical pain of a depression that immense had crippled me. I felt like I had concrete in my veins. Just getting up and going to the bathroom was an exhausting task. I spent most of my days sleeping as an escape from the pain and exhaustion. Thankfully I lived with my parents, my younger daughters father (J), and some of my sisters. I would say I had plenty of help and support, but a more accurate statement would be "the children were looked after". I on the other hand was mocked, teased and belittled at every opportunity. At the time I thought nothing of it. I thought "that's just how my family is" I was raised with the motto "the more I tease you, the more I love you". Before my dad knew I was pregnant (I kept it a secret for 18 weeks because J was pressuring me to get an unwanted abortion.) my dad pointed to my stomach one morning and said "you know, some situps would help with that" I was devastated, already feeling fat and disgusting, and went to my room to cry.
Without me even realizing it, the negative comments and belittling nature of my family took a toll on me and I was getting deeper and deeper into my depression without a light at the end of the tunnel. I HATED myself for not being able to get up and play with my children. I couldn't understand how I could be so active and attentive with M at that age but I just didn't have it in me for A. I felt like I'd failed her in so many ways. I tried my best to find solutions to the problem. Often times I'd try to find games to play with them that involved me lying or at least sitting on the couch. Puzzles, coloring, movies, cars. Anything low impact, but kids want to run and play and be active.. I felt like the worst mom of all times and I wasn't being told differently by those around me. In fact my greatest fears were being confirmed daily. One day I finally broke and had a full mental breakdown in front of my mom. I had confessed to my mom that I was having suicidal idealations. I knew deep down I didn't want to end my life, but I wanted the pain to stop. I couldn't breathe under the weight of my depression and I desperately needed help. I sat on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, confessing all of my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings at that time. My mom, in my opinion, brushed me off and said "well look into counseling or something" and then walked away, while I stayed sitting against our front door, crying my heart out. I felt devastated. All I wanted was a hug and some comfort but it was clear I was barking up the wrong tree. I got myself together, went upstairs, and went to sleep in order to escape the heartbreak and numb myself again. This entire timeline is a blur to me, so I'm not sure how much time passed between my melt down and this next conversation, but I feel like it was less than a week when my mom sat me down to have a conversation about the girls.
She suggested to me that my parents take temporary custody of the girls until I was able to "get on my feet". She kept pushing this narrative that it was what was best for the girls and their safety. She used my epilepsy as an excuse. Telling me that it was unsafe for the girls to be under my care when my epilepsy was so unpredictable. She also used my mental health, feeding into all of my fears and my own perceived shortcomings. A decent way into the conversation, my dad joined us. His whole demeanor radiated "this is a waste of my time. Just do what we say so I can go do other things" but maybe that was me reading too deeply into his behavior. Once he sat down it felt like my mom leaned even deeper into this narrative that they were clearly the better option for the girls wellbeing, but it would only be for a short time and that they were mainly concerned with the girls quality of life. I really struggled with what to do. I already felt like I was failing my children because I was so mentally and emotionally drained and detached. I didn't want to abandon them or lose them, but I also didn't want to harm them in the ways I had been harmed growing up. I figured my mom knew best because she had been in my shoes for all of my childhood. The vast majority of memories I have of my mom are of her sleeping on the couch, or raging out over the most minuscule things. I didn't want my children raised like that... So reluctantly, I agreed, truly believing I was doing a selfless thing and putting my children first. (This would later be used against me at every opportunity) I signed a piece of computer paper that my mom had scribbled an agreement on, stating that I was signing over temporary custody of my kids to my parents, with the understanding that I would get full custody back at an undisclosed time.
One day while I was down the road at a friend's house, my mom called me frantic, demanding I get home immediately. I rushed up to the house to find out that A's dad, J, had her wrapped in three blankets, in her car seat (it's the only place she would sleep). She was drenched in sweat (apparently new borns aren't supposed to sweat, especially not that much) and she was crying hysterically due to discomfort. J was irate, screaming at her and aggressively shaking the car seat. My mom said she heard him scream "shut the fck up or I'm going to *unalive you". She was under the impression that him and I were arguing again, and had come to break up the fight. (This always seemed odd to me seeing as how she never once intervened in our arguments before) When she realized I wasn't home and he was talking to A, she grabbed A and went downstairs. As she walked down the hall, j punched a hole in the wall near her head. He claimed he was "only trying to scare her" because she was "stealing his child from him" I was outraged and mortified. I tried multiple times to leave him and kick him out, but I had no support from my family. At one point I even resorted to packing up all of his belongings and throwing them out on the lawn. I'm not proud of that but I felt I had no other choice, and rushed to lock the doors when he went to get his things. My sister promptly unlocked the door and let him back in, claiming I was "acting psychotic" I felt trapped... But I had grown up around this behavior. My dad was an angry drunk and I had grown up believing that those behaviors were "passion" rather than aggression. So I accepted my fait and went on as if nothing had happened, certain that this would be the rest of my life.
One day when J was driving me to work we got into an argument and he repeatedly told me "your dad was right. You should do the world a favor and just unalive yourself. Everyone would be a lot happier" he kept repeating it over and over until I finally had it. He pulled up to a stop sign and I got out of the car and started walking down the road. He immediately started freaking out, begging me to get back in the car, using everything he could think of to manipulate me into getting back into the car. I finally caved and got back in. J dropped me off at work and as I got out of the car I told him "we're over. I'm breaking up with you". I closed the door before he could say a word and walked into work feeling like I was on cloud 9. It felt like all of my troubles had been wiped away. When I got inside, I told a friend what happened and explained that I didn't want to go home that night because I knew a guilt trip was waiting for me when I got there. I knew there would be an argument that would last hours and I would finally break due to exhaustion and would inevitably take him back. My coworker seemed to understand and let me stay at his house as long as I needed.
I called my mom and told her what had happened. I begged and pleaded with her to kick J out, but she refused. She was concerned that he'd try to take A if she kicked him out. I told her I was certain he wouldn't. He only ever cared about himself and his own self preservation. A baby would only make things harder for him and it was a responsibility and a role he didn't even want in the first place. I told her J had spent 18 weeks pressuring me to abort A and was evening willing to drive me out of state to get the procedure done, until I finally put my foot down and told him no, I was keeping my baby. I stayed away for 2 full weeks, the entire time begging and pleading with my family. Pointing out his abusive tendencies and his history with verbal and physical abuse and outbursts. My mom held her ground and refused to help me in any capacity. Every time M asked where I was, my mom would say "your mom's at work" rather than have her call me and talk to me. This created a lot of psychological trauma for M. She had severe seperstion anxiety, having panic attacks any time someone had to leave the house, convinced that if they left they'd never return. Still to this day she has abandonment issues as well as severe panic attacks.
After two weeks, I started coming over for visits but I never moved back in. During this time, J informed me that he was talking to another girl. He made it abundantly clear that she was 16. He was roughly 25 or 26 at the time. I later found out that they weren't talking. In fact, she had a boyfriend who was age appropriate, but J had been going and telling their entire friend group that they had been messing around together. I was then informed by my younger sibling L, that J had made advances on her that she quickly shut down. I think she was roughly 18 at the time. When this didn't pan out and J didn't get the reactions he expected from myself or L, he moved on. Years later I was told the same time xact story by both J and my oldest sister Al. "We had been hanging out, drinking, smoking. Ya know, the usual. And then well... Because I was so inebriated, they took advantage of me and we slept together" Knowing the both of them well enough, I knew it was consensual and they were just embarrassed and scared of my reaction. I laughed and told them they deserved one another.
As you can imagine, J's questionable life choices caught up with him and he was rejected from every friend group he had, to the point where he left the state and broke all contact with myself, and my family. It was a weight off my shoulders when he was finally gone. At that point I had gotten my own apartment but it was the first time I lived alone, paying my own bills, and I was not good at it. I was missing bill payments left and right. My power was shut off in the middle of winter and before long I was evicted. I was homeless and asked my parents if I could move home. They said no, that it would be too confusing for the girls if I moved back in with them. I ended up staying with friends on the couch in a one bedroom. It was extremely uncomfortable, but I had a roof over my head. When their lease was up, they invited me to get a new place with them. I agreed and I started learning about finances and how to be a functioning part of society.
My parents said I was welcome to visit the girls any time I wanted, but when I'd ask, it was a whole ordeal and guilt trip because they had to come pick me up and refused to bring my kids to my place. They said the car ride was too much for the girls to handle. Mind you, Ms dad B, still lives 4 hours away. My parents regularly drive both of my daughters up to see B and his parents whenever Bs parents request it. However, a 30 minute drive was asking far too much of such young and fragile children. When I argued that point they would use other excuses why they would not be bringing my children to see me. Once again I felt powerless and like a bad mom, being paraded by my parents for not being more active in my kids lives, but when I tried to make the effort it was scorned and met with negativity.
I self isolated for awhile, but still tried to be apart of my children's lives.
Over the years I've brought up the custody agreement, pointing out that it was supposed to only be temporary. I think my parents got frustrated with this because once the girls started school, my mom pressured me to sign over full custody, claiming it would make filling out paperwork a lot easier on my parents. But it was still only temporary, supposedly. Again, I continued to press for custody back and I would be met with argument after argument, bombarded with all of my shortcomings. On multiple occasions my mom told me "if you take custody of the girls back it will destroy mine and your father's marriage. Some days the girls are the only thing keeping us together" I was also told "if you take custody back it will literally kill your father. He won't survive." A year or so ago I told my mom we needed to go to therapy because I could not speak to her without a mediator. She finally agreed and we had two sessions. The first of which she cried her eyes out, telling the therapist that she's always done her absolute best for us kids and that we never appreciate anything she's done for us. She said "I took on the responsibility of raising two young children while she was out there f*cking anyone and everyone she wanted" mind you, during the time frame she was talking about, I had one intimate partner. When I confronted her about it outside of the session she said "I said that to highlight the poor life choices you were making at the time"
Fast-forward to now, A and I have a good relationship, but she's closest to my dad over everyone. M and I still have an incredibly tight bond though. She tells me everything. I'm her best friend.
The things she's been telling me the last couple of years are bringing up a lot of PTSD and trauma for me from my childhood. It's been opening my eyes to the level of mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents.
At this point you're probably thinking what I thought for most of my life. "This girl's mom sounds like a monster" It wasn't until recently that my father's facade was irreversibly shattered in my eyes. M had come to me and asked "what would you say if I asked to be called unisex name". I told her "I wouldn't say anything. I'd just call you by the name you chose. I love you no matter what I call you. I will always love you no matter what. There's nothing in this world that will change that, especially not a name." In time M came to me and said "how would you react if I told you I like girls" I said "the same way I reacted when you wanted to change your name. I will always accept, support and love you, no matter what"
She had gone to my mom with the same questions and my mom had roughly the same response. My dad on the other hand had a much more viseral response. When the name was brought up, he hit the roof, yelling "I'm not having another kid try and change their name. That's stupid. You have a name." (L changed their name when they were in school and my father always hated it and still refuses to call L by their chosen name) When the topic of sexual preference was broached he'd just roll his eyes, huff and act like M was being stupid and childish. As I touched up on previously, M has severe panic attacks. I can relate because I also suffer from them and they were extremely bad around the same age that M is now. From things M had told me in passing I'm under the impression that she was being bullied at school. Every morning was a struggle. She would beg my parents to let her stay home. If it was up to my mom, she'd get frustrated and give in, saying "whatever. Do whatever you want. You do anyway. None of you ever listen to me or respect anything I say" and M would go lie in bed and call me crying that she "upset nana" If it were my dad however, he'd yell at her to get her @$$ in the car and that he wasn't dealing with her $ht. She would have full fledged panic attacks in the car to which he would yell and scream at her to knock off the teenage bllsh*t and to suck it up. One day he even threatened to institutionalize her if this behavior continued. She called me, mid breakdown, telling me everything that had happened and asked me "what even does that mean? Is he gonna lock me up in a psych ward because I'm having panic attacks?" I assured her that no one was doing any such thing. I then called my parents and tore into them for treating her like that. My skin was crawling, I was so appalled at his behavior.
He tries his best to mask his negativity and what I consider to be narcissistic tendencies. He went from being an angry alcoholic to being a sober helpful part of the church he attends. I told my mom recently that I believe he swapped one addiction for another. He portrays this happy healthy life and family all over social media, showing my kids off to the people at his church, claiming they're his kids. So much so to the point that I had attended a few services and people thought I was their sister, not their mom, because my dad refuses to refer to them as his grandchildren. He's even taken it so far as to claim that he BIRTHED them. I don't know what level of psychosis it takes for a man to claim that he carried two children in his womb, but that's besides the point.
Also to Ms detriment, he will tease her about her weight, her eating habits, her sleeping habits. He will also make snide comments about LGBTQ+ related and adjacent topics.
L, had also suffered this same emotional and mental abuse for years from our dad and subsequently my mom who is too scared of my dad to stand up for her own beliefs. L finally made the difficult decision to go no contact for their mental health. This was extra difficult for them because that meant they had less access to their nieces and nephew, but they had to do what was best for their mental state and they took a step back. At one point my dad had brought L up, calling them by their dead name and misgendering them. When M corrected my dad he scoffed and said "people who change their names and gender are just people who weren't loved enough as a child" M responded with "k.." and went to her room to call me, explaining how incredibly offensive that statement was, especially seeing as how that's his own child. She said "who's fault is it if L wasn't loved enough as a child?" (She's extremely aware for her age)
I got a phone call from A one afternoon. She was crying and told me "I'm just sad because I'm never going to see L again because she abandoned us." I asked who told her that and she said "papa said dead name abandoned us because she doesn't care about the family anymore" I explained that none of that was true and that L missed them very much, and wanted to see them very much.
I spoke to L regularly about the situation at hand, being as supportive as possible while trying to stay out of the family drama. After months of distancing themselves from our parents, they came to me for help and guidance. They wanted to have dinner with our parents to try and mend their relationships. However they were scared of the response they would receive, so I offered to be the buffer and reach out on their behalf.
My mom's response was perfect. She said "I would love to have dinner with them. Tell me when and where" My dad's response was less ideal. He said "we would love to have dinner with her. If she's ready to respect our family and our beliefs we would be happy to have dinner with her" I lost it on him. I told him that I was sick and tired of his behavior. He puts on a holier than thou facade but he doesn't actually act very christ like in reality. I pointed out that when the prodigal son returned he wasn't met with "are you ready to ahere to our rules and regulations now? Are you prepared to act the way that we want you to? If you are then you can come home, but if not, get out" he was welcomed home with open arms, regardless of anything he had done or said. He replied with "I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't have responded to that text. I should've listened to that gut instinct"
I've gone no contact with him since that argument, but as you can imagine, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
On mother's day, my dad was out of town but my girls went to church with my mom. There was a guest speaker who had an extremely antitrans message. The way my mom explained it was "if your kid comes out as trans, you're a failure as a mom" I was dumbfounded to hear that they'd have a message like that at all, but especially on mother's day, shaming parents, but specifically mom's, into rejecting their children's self identification, as if one person has control over another person's identity. M told me she didn't ever want to go back. I told her I understood and I'd do my best to make sure she didn't have to.
Today is my birthday and my girls are coming over. M texted me this morning saying "I'm getting ready for church. I was told that if I wanted to go to my mom's house, I had to go to church first" This used to be a place that she felt safe and happy in and now it's become a place of contention for her. She'll ask my mom if she can stay home (never my dad) and although my mom usually caves and lets her stay home, it's always with some stipulation.
My dad is a controlling, manipulative, homophobic, close minded fraud of a Christian who is emotionally and mentally harming and abusing my children, and my mom isn't much safer for either of them, always siding with my dad out of fear and exhaustion.
I desperately want to remove them from this situation and regain full custody but I don't know where to start. I work two jobs in order to make ends meet. I'm behind on my rent. I have to take buses and Ubers everywhere I go. I have a very small two bedroom apartment (the girls each have their own rooms at my parents house). They have friends and a sense of community where they are, with a nice sized backyard, a trampoline, two of my three siblings are close by so they get to see their cousins daily. I don't want to rip them away from the only home they've known for years. I don't want to uproot them and disrupt the little amount of structure they do have. I don't even know how I would manage two jobs as well as a 10 and a 12 year old, but I also don't want to leave them in this toxic suffocating and damaging environment when all along I thought it was a better and safer environment for them than what I had to offer.
I feel like I'm still brainwashed to some extent by my parents, second guessing my abilities as a mom. Telling myself I'm not capable of the things I need to do for these girls. I'm at a loss for what to do at this point. Do I fight for custody back? Do I leave them as they are? Do I continue to try and advocate for them even though it either falls on deaf ears or makes matters so much worse, because that frustration is then taken out on my kids?
submitted by HippyPixieEmoKid to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
Backstory: I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 13 years old, although some doctors believe I'd been having seizures since I was as young as 6 or 7. I was also diagnosed with manic depression/bipolar disorder when I was 16.
At 21 I gave birth to my first daughter, M. A little under two years later I had my second daughter, A. The first pregnancy wasn't easy and I had a lot of seizures during the course of the pregnancy. Many trips to the hospital to make sure baby was safe. But after I gave birth I jumped straight into motherhood. I lived roughly 4 hours away from my parents and struggled with feeling homesick frequently. I called my dad daily for parenting advice, to vent, to update him, and also to help subside that homesick feeling. Regardless though, I was a very attentive and active mom. I spent all of my time with M. She was my best friend. I LOVED being a mom and I was THRIVING. After M turned 1, I moved back "home" and moved back in with my parents. My second pregnancy was much the same. Uncomfortable pregnancy, many seizures. However with this pregnancy I had some complications that caused A to be born 10 weeks early. This caused A to spend the first several months of her life in the nicu and even had to have gastral intestinal surgery before she was even 4 months old. Due to my epilepsy I do not drive, but I did everything I could in my power to see my A as frequently and for as long as I could. Visiting hours were somewhat restricting though.
At some point in time I started displaying symptoms of postpartum depression that was heavily exasperated by my manic depression. I was at an all time low. The physical pain of a depression that immense had crippled me. I felt like I had concrete in my veins. Just getting up and going to the bathroom was an exhausting task. I spent most of my days sleeping as an escape from the pain and exhaustion. Thankfully I lived with my parents, my younger daughters father (J), and some of my sisters. I would say I had plenty of help and support, but a more accurate statement would be "the children were looked after". I on the other hand was mocked, teased and belittled at every opportunity. At the time I thought nothing of it. I thought "that's just how my family is" I was raised with the motto "the more I tease you, the more I love you". Before my dad knew I was pregnant (I kept it a secret for 18 weeks because J was pressuring me to get an unwanted abortion.) my dad pointed to my stomach one morning and said "you know, some situps would help with that" I was devastated, already feeling fat and disgusting, and went to my room to cry.
Without me even realizing it, the negative comments and belittling nature of my family took a toll on me and I was getting deeper and deeper into my depression without a light at the end of the tunnel. I HATED myself for not being able to get up and play with my children. I couldn't understand how I could be so active and attentive with M at that age but I just didn't have it in me for A. I felt like I'd failed her in so many ways. I tried my best to find solutions to the problem. Often times I'd try to find games to play with them that involved me lying or at least sitting on the couch. Puzzles, coloring, movies, cars. Anything low impact, but kids want to run and play and be active.. I felt like the worst mom of all times and I wasn't being told differently by those around me. In fact my greatest fears were being confirmed daily. One day I finally broke and had a full mental breakdown in front of my mom. I had confessed to my mom that I was having suicidal idealations. I knew deep down I didn't want to end my life, but I wanted the pain to stop. I couldn't breathe under the weight of my depression and I desperately needed help. I sat on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, confessing all of my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings at that time. My mom, in my opinion, brushed me off and said "well look into counseling or something" and then walked away, while I stayed sitting against our front door, crying my heart out. I felt devastated. All I wanted was a hug and some comfort but it was clear I was barking up the wrong tree. I got myself together, went upstairs, and went to sleep in order to escape the heartbreak and numb myself again. This entire timeline is a blur to me, so I'm not sure how much time passed between my melt down and this next conversation, but I feel like it was less than a week when my mom sat me down to have a conversation about the girls.
She suggested to me that my parents take temporary custody of the girls until I was able to "get on my feet". She kept pushing this narrative that it was what was best for the girls and their safety. She used my epilepsy as an excuse. Telling me that it was unsafe for the girls to be under my care when my epilepsy was so unpredictable. She also used my mental health, feeding into all of my fears and my own perceived shortcomings. A decent way into the conversation, my dad joined us. His whole demeanor radiated "this is a waste of my time. Just do what we say so I can go do other things" but maybe that was me reading too deeply into his behavior. Once he sat down it felt like my mom leaned even deeper into this narrative that they were clearly the better option for the girls wellbeing, but it would only be for a short time and that they were mainly concerned with the girls quality of life. I really struggled with what to do. I already felt like I was failing my children because I was so mentally and emotionally drained and detached. I didn't want to abandon them or lose them, but I also didn't want to harm them in the ways I had been harmed growing up. I figured my mom knew best because she had been in my shoes for all of my childhood. The vast majority of memories I have of my mom are of her sleeping on the couch, or raging out over the most minuscule things. I didn't want my children raised like that... So reluctantly, I agreed, truly believing I was doing a selfless thing and putting my children first. (This would later be used against me at every opportunity) I signed a piece of computer paper that my mom had scribbled an agreement on, stating that I was signing over temporary custody of my kids to my parents, with the understanding that I would get full custody back at an undisclosed time.
One day while I was down the road at a friend's house, my mom called me frantic, demanding I get home immediately. I rushed up to the house to find out that A's dad, J, had her wrapped in three blankets, in her car seat (it's the only place she would sleep). She was drenched in sweat (apparently new borns aren't supposed to sweat, especially not that much) and she was crying hysterically due to discomfort. J was irate, screaming at her and aggressively shaking the car seat. My mom said she heard him scream "shut the fck up or I'm going to *unalive you". She was under the impression that him and I were arguing again, and had come to break up the fight. (This always seemed odd to me seeing as how she never once intervened in our arguments before) When she realized I wasn't home and he was talking to A, she grabbed A and went downstairs. As she walked down the hall, j punched a hole in the wall near her head. He claimed he was "only trying to scare her" because she was "stealing his child from him" I was outraged and mortified. I tried multiple times to leave him and kick him out, but I had no support from my family. At one point I even resorted to packing up all of his belongings and throwing them out on the lawn. I'm not proud of that but I felt I had no other choice, and rushed to lock the doors when he went to get his things. My sister promptly unlocked the door and let him back in, claiming I was "acting psychotic" I felt trapped... But I had grown up around this behavior. My dad was an angry drunk and I had grown up believing that those behaviors were "passion" rather than aggression. So I accepted my fait and went on as if nothing had happened, certain that this would be the rest of my life.
One day when J was driving me to work we got into an argument and he repeatedly told me "your dad was right. You should do the world a favor and just unalive yourself. Everyone would be a lot happier" he kept repeating it over and over until I finally had it. He pulled up to a stop sign and I got out of the car and started walking down the road. He immediately started freaking out, begging me to get back in the car, using everything he could think of to manipulate me into getting back into the car. I finally caved and got back in. J dropped me off at work and as I got out of the car I told him "we're over. I'm breaking up with you". I closed the door before he could say a word and walked into work feeling like I was on cloud 9. It felt like all of my troubles had been wiped away. When I got inside, I told a friend what happened and explained that I didn't want to go home that night because I knew a guilt trip was waiting for me when I got there. I knew there would be an argument that would last hours and I would finally break due to exhaustion and would inevitably take him back. My coworker seemed to understand and let me stay at his house as long as I needed.
I called my mom and told her what had happened. I begged and pleaded with her to kick J out, but she refused. She was concerned that he'd try to take A if she kicked him out. I told her I was certain he wouldn't. He only ever cared about himself and his own self preservation. A baby would only make things harder for him and it was a responsibility and a role he didn't even want in the first place. I told her J had spent 18 weeks pressuring me to abort A and was evening willing to drive me out of state to get the procedure done, until I finally put my foot down and told him no, I was keeping my baby. I stayed away for 2 full weeks, the entire time begging and pleading with my family. Pointing out his abusive tendencies and his history with verbal and physical abuse and outbursts. My mom held her ground and refused to help me in any capacity. Every time M asked where I was, my mom would say "your mom's at work" rather than have her call me and talk to me. This created a lot of psychological trauma for M. She had severe seperstion anxiety, having panic attacks any time someone had to leave the house, convinced that if they left they'd never return. Still to this day she has abandonment issues as well as severe panic attacks.
After two weeks, I started coming over for visits but I never moved back in. During this time, J informed me that he was talking to another girl. He made it abundantly clear that she was 16. He was roughly 25 or 26 at the time. I later found out that they weren't talking. In fact, she had a boyfriend who was age appropriate, but J had been going and telling their entire friend group that they had been messing around together. I was then informed by my younger sibling L, that J had made advances on her that she quickly shut down. I think she was roughly 18 at the time. When this didn't pan out and J didn't get the reactions he expected from myself or L, he moved on. Years later I was told the same time xact story by both J and my oldest sister Al. "We had been hanging out, drinking, smoking. Ya know, the usual. And then well... Because I was so inebriated, they took advantage of me and we slept together" Knowing the both of them well enough, I knew it was consensual and they were just embarrassed and scared of my reaction. I laughed and told them they deserved one another.
As you can imagine, J's questionable life choices caught up with him and he was rejected from every friend group he had, to the point where he left the state and broke all contact with myself, and my family. It was a weight off my shoulders when he was finally gone. At that point I had gotten my own apartment but it was the first time I lived alone, paying my own bills, and I was not good at it. I was missing bill payments left and right. My power was shut off in the middle of winter and before long I was evicted. I was homeless and asked my parents if I could move home. They said no, that it would be too confusing for the girls if I moved back in with them. I ended up staying with friends on the couch in a one bedroom. It was extremely uncomfortable, but I had a roof over my head. When their lease was up, they invited me to get a new place with them. I agreed and I started learning about finances and how to be a functioning part of society.
My parents said I was welcome to visit the girls any time I wanted, but when I'd ask, it was a whole ordeal and guilt trip because they had to come pick me up and refused to bring my kids to my place. They said the car ride was too much for the girls to handle. Mind you, Ms dad B, still lives 4 hours away. My parents regularly drive both of my daughters up to see B and his parents whenever Bs parents request it. However, a 30 minute drive was asking far too much of such young and fragile children. When I argued that point they would use other excuses why they would not be bringing my children to see me. Once again I felt powerless and like a bad mom, being paraded by my parents for not being more active in my kids lives, but when I tried to make the effort it was scorned and met with negativity.
I self isolated for awhile, but still tried to be apart of my children's lives.
Over the years I've brought up the custody agreement, pointing out that it was supposed to only be temporary. I think my parents got frustrated with this because once the girls started school, my mom pressured me to sign over full custody, claiming it would make filling out paperwork a lot easier on my parents. But it was still only temporary, supposedly. Again, I continued to press for custody back and I would be met with argument after argument, bombarded with all of my shortcomings. On multiple occasions my mom told me "if you take custody of the girls back it will destroy mine and your father's marriage. Some days the girls are the only thing keeping us together" I was also told "if you take custody back it will literally kill your father. He won't survive." A year or so ago I told my mom we needed to go to therapy because I could not speak to her without a mediator. She finally agreed and we had two sessions. The first of which she cried her eyes out, telling the therapist that she's always done her absolute best for us kids and that we never appreciate anything she's done for us. She said "I took on the responsibility of raising two young children while she was out there f*cking anyone and everyone she wanted" mind you, during the time frame she was talking about, I had one intimate partner. When I confronted her about it outside of the session she said "I said that to highlight the poor life choices you were making at the time"
Fast-forward to now, A and I have a good relationship, but she's closest to my dad over everyone. M and I still have an incredibly tight bond though. She tells me everything. I'm her best friend.
The things she's been telling me the last couple of years are bringing up a lot of PTSD and trauma for me from my childhood. It's been opening my eyes to the level of mental abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents.
At this point you're probably thinking what I thought for most of my life. "This girl's mom sounds like a monster" It wasn't until recently that my father's facade was irreversibly shattered in my eyes. M had come to me and asked "what would you say if I asked to be called unisex name". I told her "I wouldn't say anything. I'd just call you by the name you chose. I love you no matter what I call you. I will always love you no matter what. There's nothing in this world that will change that, especially not a name." In time M came to me and said "how would you react if I told you I like girls" I said "the same way I reacted when you wanted to change your name. I will always accept, support and love you, no matter what"
She had gone to my mom with the same questions and my mom had roughly the same response. My dad on the other hand had a much more viseral response. When the name was brought up, he hit the roof, yelling "I'm not having another kid try and change their name. That's stupid. You have a name." (L changed their name when they were in school and my father always hated it and still refuses to call L by their chosen name) When the topic of sexual preference was broached he'd just roll his eyes, huff and act like M was being stupid and childish. As I touched up on previously, M has severe panic attacks. I can relate because I also suffer from them and they were extremely bad around the same age that M is now. From things M had told me in passing I'm under the impression that she was being bullied at school. Every morning was a struggle. She would beg my parents to let her stay home. If it was up to my mom, she'd get frustrated and give in, saying "whatever. Do whatever you want. You do anyway. None of you ever listen to me or respect anything I say" and M would go lie in bed and call me crying that she "upset nana" If it were my dad however, he'd yell at her to get her @$$ in the car and that he wasn't dealing with her $ht. She would have full fledged panic attacks in the car to which he would yell and scream at her to knock off the teenage bllsh*t and to suck it up. One day he even threatened to institutionalize her if this behavior continued. She called me, mid breakdown, telling me everything that had happened and asked me "what even does that mean? Is he gonna lock me up in a psych ward because I'm having panic attacks?" I assured her that no one was doing any such thing. I then called my parents and tore into them for treating her like that. My skin was crawling, I was so appalled at his behavior.
He tries his best to mask his negativity and what I consider to be narcissistic tendencies. He went from being an angry alcoholic to being a sober helpful part of the church he attends. I told my mom recently that I believe he swapped one addiction for another. He portrays this happy healthy life and family all over social media, showing my kids off to the people at his church, claiming they're his kids. So much so to the point that I had attended a few services and people thought I was their sister, not their mom, because my dad refuses to refer to them as his grandchildren. He's even taken it so far as to claim that he BIRTHED them. I don't know what level of psychosis it takes for a man to claim that he carried two children in his womb, but that's besides the point.
Also to Ms detriment, he will tease her about her weight, her eating habits, her sleeping habits. He will also make snide comments about LGBTQ+ related and adjacent topics.
L, had also suffered this same emotional and mental abuse for years from our dad and subsequently my mom who is too scared of my dad to stand up for her own beliefs. L finally made the difficult decision to go no contact for their mental health. This was extra difficult for them because that meant they had less access to their nieces and nephew, but they had to do what was best for their mental state and they took a step back. At one point my dad had brought L up, calling them by their dead name and misgendering them. When M corrected my dad he scoffed and said "people who change their names and gender are just people who weren't loved enough as a child" M responded with "k.." and went to her room to call me, explaining how incredibly offensive that statement was, especially seeing as how that's his own child. She said "who's fault is it if L wasn't loved enough as a child?" (She's extremely aware for her age)
I got a phone call from A one afternoon. She was crying and told me "I'm just sad because I'm never going to see L again because she abandoned us." I asked who told her that and she said "papa said dead name abandoned us because she doesn't care about the family anymore" I explained that none of that was true and that L missed them very much, and wanted to see them very much.
I spoke to L regularly about the situation at hand, being as supportive as possible while trying to stay out of the family drama. After months of distancing themselves from our parents, they came to me for help and guidance. They wanted to have dinner with our parents to try and mend their relationships. However they were scared of the response they would receive, so I offered to be the buffer and reach out on their behalf.
My mom's response was perfect. She said "I would love to have dinner with them. Tell me when and where" My dad's response was less ideal. He said "we would love to have dinner with her. If she's ready to respect our family and our beliefs we would be happy to have dinner with her" I lost it on him. I told him that I was sick and tired of his behavior. He puts on a holier than thou facade but he doesn't actually act very christ like in reality. I pointed out that when the prodigal son returned he wasn't met with "are you ready to ahere to our rules and regulations now? Are you prepared to act the way that we want you to? If you are then you can come home, but if not, get out" he was welcomed home with open arms, regardless of anything he had done or said. He replied with "I had a gut feeling that I shouldn't have responded to that text. I should've listened to that gut instinct"
I've gone no contact with him since that argument, but as you can imagine, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
On mother's day, my dad was out of town but my girls went to church with my mom. There was a guest speaker who had an extremely antitrans message. The way my mom explained it was "if your kid comes out as trans, you're a failure as a mom" I was dumbfounded to hear that they'd have a message like that at all, but especially on mother's day, shaming parents, but specifically mom's, into rejecting their children's self identification, as if one person has control over another person's identity. M told me she didn't ever want to go back. I told her I understood and I'd do my best to make sure she didn't have to.
Today is my birthday and my girls are coming over. M texted me this morning saying "I'm getting ready for church. I was told that if I wanted to go to my mom's house, I had to go to church first" This used to be a place that she felt safe and happy in and now it's become a place of contention for her. She'll ask my mom if she can stay home (never my dad) and although my mom usually caves and lets her stay home, it's always with some stipulation.
My dad is a controlling, manipulative, homophobic, close minded fraud of a Christian who is emotionally and mentally harming and abusing my children, and my mom isn't much safer for either of them, always siding with my dad out of fear and exhaustion.
I desperately want to remove them from this situation and regain full custody but I don't know where to start. I work two jobs in order to make ends meet. I'm behind on my rent. I have to take buses and Ubers everywhere I go. I have a very small two bedroom apartment (the girls each have their own rooms at my parents house). They have friends and a sense of community where they are, with a nice sized backyard, a trampoline, two of my three siblings are close by so they get to see their cousins daily. I don't want to rip them away from the only home they've known for years. I don't want to uproot them and disrupt the little amount of structure they do have. I don't even know how I would manage two jobs as well as a 10 and a 12 year old, but I also don't want to leave them in this toxic suffocating and damaging environment when all along I thought it was a better and safer environment for them than what I had to offer.
I feel like I'm still brainwashed to some extent by my parents, second guessing my abilities as a mom. Telling myself I'm not capable of the things I need to do for these girls. I'm at a loss for what to do at this point. Do I fight for custody back? Do I leave them as they are? Do I continue to try and advocate for them even though it either falls on deaf ears or makes matters so much worse, because that frustration is then taken out on my kids?
2023.06.04 19:12 Scary-Contribution48 Bad_System_Config_Info loop. i am in PC hell right now
Jesus Christ I feel like I am losing my mind. Please save me from Computer Hell.
probably important backstory for how I ended up here; I have a small, pretty basic (shitty) Intel core laptop. recently I realized that the built-in Microsoft Anti-Malware software has been constantly running in the background, and sapping up like 60% of my memory. Like, all at once I realized my PC lags and stutters when I game or even just have Discord VC open is quite literally all because of this Microsoftian parasite leeching my CPU. (confirmed through the fact i managed to turn it off and my pc was smooth as butter)
cut to approx. 3 hours ago today, Antimalware is back on & back to leeching off my CPU, except now, much like some type of bacterial parasite that develops immunity to modern medication, I can't turn this stupid bastard off. I've tried so many ways. SO MANY WAYS. Going into all Microsoft Defender files & desperately trying to kill this bloodsucking leech of an anti-virus. I try disabling it, deleting it, force-stopping, changing the decimal to 1 -- I restart again and again, and nothing works.
I restart one more time; after gone through the 5 stages of grief & landed on Acceptance — suddenly I'm trapped on the Windows login screen, stuck in the Pin erro"Search for app in the app store?" feedback loop. I was stuck in this for a while, until I rebooted my PC back to an earlier save from a few days ago, which seemingly fixed the problem and let me back in.
I'm so frustrated, so confused as to why i was able to disable it once but now unable to; frustrated that it feels like this Antimalware program is purposefully jacking up my PC... but I'm grateful im back in my PC, so i decide to cut my losses & just install a new anti-virus that Advanced Systemcare recommended cause I read that Antimalware can't compete with other downloaded anti-virus sofwares or something. like, just kind of trying anything to kill this bastard. At least a little bit. Now it's personal.
Thus began my descent into Microsoft Computer Hell;
I restart one more time after installation, and then my laptop bluescreens and tells me there's an issue with restarting. Automatic Repair doesn't work. Restarting just takes me back to the initial bluescreen, thus the loop. I've tried every advanced option and nothing works. I can't troubleshoot, I can't hard reset, I can't system restore, I can't startup repair. Nothing works. I'm just stumped, so far feverishly googling & watching YouTube tech clips hasn't helped at all; no solution I've found works. I am trapped in computer purgatory for trying to kill that damn Antimalware Service Executable that does nothing but leeches the memory from my PC like a summer tick.
sorry for the dramatics but I'm losing my MIND. Any advice is appreciated. Keeping my files would be optimal (I'm an artist and there's files I haven't backed up anywhere) but at this point I'm willing to do anything. Everytime I try to click "Reset this PC", both keep files and don't keep files options, I get told "There was a problem resetting your PC. No changes were made."
tldr; computer hell really sucks and I'm beefing with a Microsoft program :(
submitted by Scary-Contribution48 to techsupport [link] [comments]
probably important backstory for how I ended up here; I have a small, pretty basic (shitty) Intel core laptop. recently I realized that the built-in Microsoft Anti-Malware software has been constantly running in the background, and sapping up like 60% of my memory. Like, all at once I realized my PC lags and stutters when I game or even just have Discord VC open is quite literally all because of this Microsoftian parasite leeching my CPU. (confirmed through the fact i managed to turn it off and my pc was smooth as butter)
cut to approx. 3 hours ago today, Antimalware is back on & back to leeching off my CPU, except now, much like some type of bacterial parasite that develops immunity to modern medication, I can't turn this stupid bastard off. I've tried so many ways. SO MANY WAYS. Going into all Microsoft Defender files & desperately trying to kill this bloodsucking leech of an anti-virus. I try disabling it, deleting it, force-stopping, changing the decimal to 1 -- I restart again and again, and nothing works.
I restart one more time; after gone through the 5 stages of grief & landed on Acceptance — suddenly I'm trapped on the Windows login screen, stuck in the Pin erro"Search for app in the app store?" feedback loop. I was stuck in this for a while, until I rebooted my PC back to an earlier save from a few days ago, which seemingly fixed the problem and let me back in.
I'm so frustrated, so confused as to why i was able to disable it once but now unable to; frustrated that it feels like this Antimalware program is purposefully jacking up my PC... but I'm grateful im back in my PC, so i decide to cut my losses & just install a new anti-virus that Advanced Systemcare recommended cause I read that Antimalware can't compete with other downloaded anti-virus sofwares or something. like, just kind of trying anything to kill this bastard. At least a little bit. Now it's personal.
Thus began my descent into Microsoft Computer Hell;
I restart one more time after installation, and then my laptop bluescreens and tells me there's an issue with restarting. Automatic Repair doesn't work. Restarting just takes me back to the initial bluescreen, thus the loop. I've tried every advanced option and nothing works. I can't troubleshoot, I can't hard reset, I can't system restore, I can't startup repair. Nothing works. I'm just stumped, so far feverishly googling & watching YouTube tech clips hasn't helped at all; no solution I've found works. I am trapped in computer purgatory for trying to kill that damn Antimalware Service Executable that does nothing but leeches the memory from my PC like a summer tick.
sorry for the dramatics but I'm losing my MIND. Any advice is appreciated. Keeping my files would be optimal (I'm an artist and there's files I haven't backed up anywhere) but at this point I'm willing to do anything. Everytime I try to click "Reset this PC", both keep files and don't keep files options, I get told "There was a problem resetting your PC. No changes were made."
tldr; computer hell really sucks and I'm beefing with a Microsoft program :(
2023.06.04 19:12 mkhaytman Nearest side of the road fruit stands.
Looking to pick up some local lychees and mangos without overpaying at yellow green or fruits n cahoots. I know there's lots of side of the road stands set up by farmers down in homestead, are there similar stands set up in west broward? Any specific roads you've seen farmers set up on? Thanks in advance!
submitted by mkhaytman to fortlauderdale [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 19:11 Dizzy-Ad-4526 Has anyone been able to correct their posture? How?
My whole life even before growing out boobs I’ve had curled shoulders and crooked back. After they grew big it just got worse since I hate attention and thus automatically curl my body to kinda “hide” them instead of having the confidence to point these girls to the air and stand up high haha.
Fast forward and the backpain just grew into a bigger problem after all these years behind a computer.
I’m looking for advice from people who actually managed to correct their posture while having big boobs. If you managed to do it, please recommend me your exercise routine/videos and how often you’d do these, and how long it took you to see results!
There’s plenty of videos out there on posture, but I feel like the extra chest weight definitely adds a challenge, so I need to hear from people who have been through the same..
Thanks in advance!
submitted by Dizzy-Ad-4526 to bigboobproblems [link] [comments]
Fast forward and the backpain just grew into a bigger problem after all these years behind a computer.
I’m looking for advice from people who actually managed to correct their posture while having big boobs. If you managed to do it, please recommend me your exercise routine/videos and how often you’d do these, and how long it took you to see results!
There’s plenty of videos out there on posture, but I feel like the extra chest weight definitely adds a challenge, so I need to hear from people who have been through the same..
Thanks in advance!
2023.06.04 19:11 kanishka__06 India’s Top Affordable Marble Polish Service in Gurgaon
Introduction
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Recognizing the value of your time, SV Shine Solution is committed to providing efficient services without compromising on quality. Their skilled technicians work diligently to complete the marble polish process within the agreed-upon timeframe. This ensures that you can enjoy your revitalized marble surfaces promptly and resume your regular activities.2023.06.04 19:10 UniqueCaterpillar803 Am I MISINFORMED?
Hi, So I am a canadian male higschool student in my final year and I am going to be graduating in two weeks.I am planning on Taking a 4 year RN program in university because I have an uncle who is a RN and he has convinced me that nursing is a really good profession to pursue as he has enjoyed it and he says he also gets payed very well in general and he is also able to pick up a lot of shifts due to the understaffing in most hospitals allowing him to even make more money.He also explained to me that males tend to exxcel in nursing and you are always able to advance as a nurse if you want as you are not entirely in a box of I.e after a while of nursing you can go into medicine or become a advanced practitioner like a Midwive,travel nurse or CRNA which is what I am planning on doing in the future.But after looking and scrolling through the reddit for a week i have to say i am a bit overwhelmed and confused. This is because majority of the posts I have seen are people venting and complaining about being stressed and overwhelmed as a nurse,I have also seen people state how much they are making per hour and it is way lower than what I have been told.so are all this just circumstantial or am I being mislead?
submitted by UniqueCaterpillar803 to nursing [link] [comments]
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2023.06.04 19:09 Noledgebase Python Programming - From Basics to Advanced level [2023] ($64.99 to FREE)
![Python Programming - From Basics to Advanced level [2023] ($64.99 to FREE)](https://external-preview.redd.it/p0w9p9eRqHD6W7JnsaE2Kx-cQscM2DCHdIjKPdnQSJ0.jpg?width=320&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=587e4e800e49ac6518c92f1fd1943d4dbc9607a7 "Python Programming - From Basics to Advanced level [2023] ($64.99 to FREE)") | submitted by Noledgebase to udemyfreebies [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 19:07 NotWillyNotBilly to/about the creeps
ive been going to collins for about 7-8 years now, usually as often as i can through the summer, so... a lot.
public sex is illegal, indecent exposure is illegal, public masturbation is illegal. staring at folks, recording folks, uninvited intrusions are extremely poor form. we all know these things.
personally, i more or less accept the lesser creeps - the older single men who look a little too long, sit a little too close, or try to chat up every young lady on the beach ... youre noticed by all, expect to get the occasional snide comment in response to your poor form.. but whatever.
and actual sex acts - not everyone will agree with me on this, from ethical and/or legal standpoints, but its my contention that even sex acts are acceptable at the beach so long as you dont make it public. if a couple (whether together or strangers) wants to go off into the thick shrub and find a spot to get frisky, fuckin go for it. especially up at the "gay end." dog knows ive had a romp or two out there, but never in front of others - youd have to be out bushwacking to come upon us. or inside a tent, or when theres nobody else around and you can see folks coming long before they can figure out what youre doing. and the letter of the law supports me on this.
so all of that said, heres the problem as i see it, and what i would like to do/see done about it........
when my partner cant just relax, like really at all, for sake of all the fuckin scumbags out creeping around our blanket; when they feel intimidated, inhibited about going, or feel like they have to wear a bathing suit despite hating tan lines; when i find myself going alone half the time because they dont want to deal with the creepycrawly feelings theyre sure to experience, it becomes a real big problem for me. and im not somebody who just puts up with bullying when i observe it, and you creeps are essentially just that: fuckin bullies. you get off on making others uncomfortable. its a power thing. very similar to the psychology of r--e.
the few times ive had to take care of shit, ive been a little surprised that i always end up standing there alone and a lone voice against this bullshit. its always met with the same response - "im not doing anything," and a refusal to leave the area. im not one to draw police attention and i dont enjoy making a scene, and certainly dont want to end up being the one in the wrong/on the wrong side of the law by getting physical with some saggy assed 60 year old dude who refuses to move his chair somewhere other than facing our blanket from 15-20' away while moving his hand between his legs, but one angry dude cant get much done by himself without becoming the law-breaker himself.
so im proposing we draw some lines in that dredge sand, and have it in our minds well in advance, that when someone crosses the line and someone calls them out on it, we stand up for each other.
line crossing, to me:
where i get creeped on mercilessly instead. 🤣
in summary, i just want us all to be thinking and talking about the conduct thats just a hard "no" on the beach, cement these lines in our minds, and at LEAST be willing to back each other up when something needs to be said, if not be willing to take the initiative. and i understand not everyone is interested in taking initiative, but i think all decent folk are morally obligated to at least aid in the resistance of offensive behavior.
do we have here in this sub any of the "regulars" from the volleyball area? you particularly well-tanned folks that are there every weekend and have been for decades? i would love to get yalls perspective on on this, because even though ive been going for quite some time myself an have considered myself a regular for a while now, i dont subconsciously classify myself as any kind of collins guardian of conduct decency, and the times when ive wanted to say/do "something" and havent are when some regular creep - like the short, fat, old, long haired, deeply tanned solo man who likes to masturbate everywhere from his chair to whilst standing thigh-deep in the river facing everyone - is barely hiding his dick-stroking, and not a goddamn body much closer to the misdeed seems to have a problem with it. are you guys just so numb to it that it isnt worth calling it out, or h'wat? im not calling anyone out with this question, just straight up wondering.
anyway.. i reckon thems my thoughts. all others welcome, to include opposing viewpoints.
submitted by NotWillyNotBilly to CollinsBeach [link] [comments]
public sex is illegal, indecent exposure is illegal, public masturbation is illegal. staring at folks, recording folks, uninvited intrusions are extremely poor form. we all know these things.
personally, i more or less accept the lesser creeps - the older single men who look a little too long, sit a little too close, or try to chat up every young lady on the beach ... youre noticed by all, expect to get the occasional snide comment in response to your poor form.. but whatever.
and actual sex acts - not everyone will agree with me on this, from ethical and/or legal standpoints, but its my contention that even sex acts are acceptable at the beach so long as you dont make it public. if a couple (whether together or strangers) wants to go off into the thick shrub and find a spot to get frisky, fuckin go for it. especially up at the "gay end." dog knows ive had a romp or two out there, but never in front of others - youd have to be out bushwacking to come upon us. or inside a tent, or when theres nobody else around and you can see folks coming long before they can figure out what youre doing. and the letter of the law supports me on this.
so all of that said, heres the problem as i see it, and what i would like to do/see done about it........
when my partner cant just relax, like really at all, for sake of all the fuckin scumbags out creeping around our blanket; when they feel intimidated, inhibited about going, or feel like they have to wear a bathing suit despite hating tan lines; when i find myself going alone half the time because they dont want to deal with the creepycrawly feelings theyre sure to experience, it becomes a real big problem for me. and im not somebody who just puts up with bullying when i observe it, and you creeps are essentially just that: fuckin bullies. you get off on making others uncomfortable. its a power thing. very similar to the psychology of r--e.
the few times ive had to take care of shit, ive been a little surprised that i always end up standing there alone and a lone voice against this bullshit. its always met with the same response - "im not doing anything," and a refusal to leave the area. im not one to draw police attention and i dont enjoy making a scene, and certainly dont want to end up being the one in the wrong/on the wrong side of the law by getting physical with some saggy assed 60 year old dude who refuses to move his chair somewhere other than facing our blanket from 15-20' away while moving his hand between his legs, but one angry dude cant get much done by himself without becoming the law-breaker himself.
so im proposing we draw some lines in that dredge sand, and have it in our minds well in advance, that when someone crosses the line and someone calls them out on it, we stand up for each other.
line crossing, to me:
- open displays of arousal ... unabashed standing with a full blown hardon, walking along the water with a full blown hardon (talking about you, douchebag from yesterday), etc
- openly masturbating/masturbation visible to strangers in any capacity, at least anywhere south of the "gay end" (its certainly potentially highly inappropriate up there too, but that is the area where lines blur a lot more)
- single dudes setting up uncomfortably close to folks who arent solo cis males when theres plenty of room and prime real estate elsewhere
- covert recording of anyone, ever, at all, for any reason. its poor form to be taking pics or vids with nonconsenting folks in perspective, if not illegal. but when you do it in an obviously directed way i dont give a fuck if its illegal or not - i might just be sending your phone about 50m offshore. good luck getting it back. think im just tough talking? try me.
where i get creeped on mercilessly instead. 🤣
in summary, i just want us all to be thinking and talking about the conduct thats just a hard "no" on the beach, cement these lines in our minds, and at LEAST be willing to back each other up when something needs to be said, if not be willing to take the initiative. and i understand not everyone is interested in taking initiative, but i think all decent folk are morally obligated to at least aid in the resistance of offensive behavior.
do we have here in this sub any of the "regulars" from the volleyball area? you particularly well-tanned folks that are there every weekend and have been for decades? i would love to get yalls perspective on on this, because even though ive been going for quite some time myself an have considered myself a regular for a while now, i dont subconsciously classify myself as any kind of collins guardian of conduct decency, and the times when ive wanted to say/do "something" and havent are when some regular creep - like the short, fat, old, long haired, deeply tanned solo man who likes to masturbate everywhere from his chair to whilst standing thigh-deep in the river facing everyone - is barely hiding his dick-stroking, and not a goddamn body much closer to the misdeed seems to have a problem with it. are you guys just so numb to it that it isnt worth calling it out, or h'wat? im not calling anyone out with this question, just straight up wondering.
anyway.. i reckon thems my thoughts. all others welcome, to include opposing viewpoints.
2023.06.04 19:07 AutoModerator [Download Course] Adam Enfroy – Blog Growth Engine Mastermind (Genkicourses.site)
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2023.06.04 19:06 coursenana CourseNana COMPX322-23A Advanced Web Development - Assignment Four: Project Management Application
CourseNana COMPX322-23A Advanced Web Development - Assignment Four: Project Management Application
For this coursework you are required to build a project management application which allows users to manage their projects.
WeChat: csxzhuli, 留学生作业代写, CS作业代写, 编程作业代写, Programming Help,The University of Waikato ,COMPX322,Advanced Web Development,Project Management Application,React,Javascript,Bootstrap
submitted by coursenana to coursenana [link] [comments]
For this coursework you are required to build a project management application which allows users to manage their projects.
WeChat: csxzhuli, 留学生作业代写, CS作业代写, 编程作业代写, Programming Help,The University of Waikato ,COMPX322,Advanced Web Development,Project Management Application,React,Javascript,Bootstrap