Fallout 76 take a camera picture
fo76FilthyCasuals
2018.12.05 20:29 shandower fo76FilthyCasuals
Fallout 76, for people that don't take it, or themselves, too seriously.
2015.11.10 07:47 BadBassa Fallout 4 Settlement Building
A subreddit dedicated to everything related to settlement building in Fallout 4 and Fallout 76. Share your builds, ask your questions, and help the community! Join The Living Wasteland Discord: https://discord.gg/zdHVY8KrUA Facebook Settlement Building: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Fallout4SettlementBuilding
2012.01.24 02:24 ChingShih Bethesda Softworks
/BethesdaSoftworks is a fan-made community dedicated to all games, mods, and projects related to the game publisher Bethesda Softworks and its subsidiary developer studios.
2023.05.30 07:46 lulosan1 City of Fury - Cyberpunk Strategy SWAT Management game.
Hey there, fellow Redditors!
I've got something cool to share with you all "City of Fury"
Picture this: a cyberpunk RTS swat team management game
Now, I know we're all part of the awesome indie community here, so I wanted to reach out and show you what I've been cooking up. It's all about taking charge of your very own swat squad in a dystopian city. You get to customize your crew, clear rooms like a pro, and pull off flanking maneuvers. Oh, and let's not forget the explosive grenades and killer skills to give you that extra edge!
But here's the deal: I can't do it alone, folks. I need your support, feedback, and good vibes to be able to make the game i picture in my head.
So, check out the mini trailer I've got featuring some music a friend made for the game, so you can see what i've been working this past weeks
Can't wait to hear your thoughts!
(it ain't on steam to wishlist yet, its just for the trailer)
Cheers,
Julian
submitted by lulosan1 to IndieGame [link] [comments]
I've got something cool to share with you all "City of Fury"
Picture this: a cyberpunk RTS swat team management game
Now, I know we're all part of the awesome indie community here, so I wanted to reach out and show you what I've been cooking up. It's all about taking charge of your very own swat squad in a dystopian city. You get to customize your crew, clear rooms like a pro, and pull off flanking maneuvers. Oh, and let's not forget the explosive grenades and killer skills to give you that extra edge!
But here's the deal: I can't do it alone, folks. I need your support, feedback, and good vibes to be able to make the game i picture in my head.
So, check out the mini trailer I've got featuring some music a friend made for the game, so you can see what i've been working this past weeks
Can't wait to hear your thoughts!
(it ain't on steam to wishlist yet, its just for the trailer)
Cheers,
Julian
2023.05.30 07:44 ConsiderationLive271 State Farm Wants to Repair Irreparable Roof
Intro: I’m a licensed roofing contractor in Maryland. Have a customer with some significant wind damage to his 3 tab shingles. Nine of his 57sq roof’s thirteen facets presented with damage from wind. 16 missing tabs, 30some creased. Customer has State Farm, and has made a claim on his policy. Claim was filed on the same day of the date of loss, on which his property received 70+ mph wind gusts, as verified by several reputable weather outlets. Even observed some tabs still hung up in a tree in his back yard during our inspection. State Farm’s adjuster came to inspect. Wrote for 25 shingles.
My customer, the homeowner, is unsure as to the age of his shingles beyond knowing them to be at least 3 years old. My personal educated guess is 8-12 years. Having been on the roof myself, the granule loss from his shingles is significant but not pitiful. Despite the hot side being in fairly direct sunlight, thermal cracking is not horrible either. Brittleness however is quite bad. Even with one 45 degree lift, tabs start to develop a crease. This led me to believe we were likely dealing with an irreparable roof and hence we conducted a formal repairability test. The repairability test was conducted in full, on video, and resulted in a fail.
It has been my experience with State Farm that if a roof’s shingles were found to be irreparable after they had written for repair, they would accept a video demonstrating such. It used to be the adjuster would take a youtube link or zipped file. Then for a while, they were sending their own links for video upload. This time around, however, I was advised by a person in the corporate office (because the original adjuster from 5 days prior had fallen off the face of the earth) that they no longer accepted videos period, at all, none. Pictures however, for some reason, are still accepted. Naturally I took some screenshots of the video, attached them to a friendly email and sent it over. Neither the homeowner nor myself received a reply to that communication, despite patiently waiting 2 full weeks.
After giving them a chance, I reached out to corporate again. Corporate advised a new adjuster had been assigned, whom I promptly contacted. The new adjuster was kind enough to review the photos while we were on the phone. The first and only question they asked was “do you know how old the roof is?” to which I replied I did not know exactly. Without much pause, the only reply this person offered was “I don’t see this resulting in a full approval.”
This current adjuster has never been on the roof in question, nor to the insured’s property. The only documentation, I am aware of, that they have to go off of is the 6 photos I sent after the repair test plus whatever the initial adjuster took. Truthfully, I made no mention of a full approval nor provoked the need for any action at all, I had called only for a status update.
The conversation continued, I asked for some reasoning behind that comment. They stated they were not in the business of covering wear and tear due to age, which I do understand. What I do not understand, and what I politely asked/reminded them of is the fact it was already admitted there were qualifying damages present to the roofing structure covered under the policy, otherwise a repair estimate would never have been written. I asked exactly how I, as the entity performing the work, should proceed with the repairs ordered, authorized and funded by State Farm on a roof that is objectively irreparable. They offered no further instructions or guidance.
I’ve passed all of this info along to the insured, to his displeasure, and he plans on following up as well. I understand many in this sub, especially those insurance professionals, may not be very apt to give advice here. Just know that truthfully, I pride my business and my group in not being one of the common rag tag bunch of storm chasers our industry has been flooded with. Insurance work is only a portion of what we do, perhaps that is why I am stumped here. Anything anyone could offer up in terms of advice/guidance here will be greatly appreciated. TIA!!
submitted by ConsiderationLive271 to Insurance [link] [comments]
My customer, the homeowner, is unsure as to the age of his shingles beyond knowing them to be at least 3 years old. My personal educated guess is 8-12 years. Having been on the roof myself, the granule loss from his shingles is significant but not pitiful. Despite the hot side being in fairly direct sunlight, thermal cracking is not horrible either. Brittleness however is quite bad. Even with one 45 degree lift, tabs start to develop a crease. This led me to believe we were likely dealing with an irreparable roof and hence we conducted a formal repairability test. The repairability test was conducted in full, on video, and resulted in a fail.
It has been my experience with State Farm that if a roof’s shingles were found to be irreparable after they had written for repair, they would accept a video demonstrating such. It used to be the adjuster would take a youtube link or zipped file. Then for a while, they were sending their own links for video upload. This time around, however, I was advised by a person in the corporate office (because the original adjuster from 5 days prior had fallen off the face of the earth) that they no longer accepted videos period, at all, none. Pictures however, for some reason, are still accepted. Naturally I took some screenshots of the video, attached them to a friendly email and sent it over. Neither the homeowner nor myself received a reply to that communication, despite patiently waiting 2 full weeks.
After giving them a chance, I reached out to corporate again. Corporate advised a new adjuster had been assigned, whom I promptly contacted. The new adjuster was kind enough to review the photos while we were on the phone. The first and only question they asked was “do you know how old the roof is?” to which I replied I did not know exactly. Without much pause, the only reply this person offered was “I don’t see this resulting in a full approval.”
This current adjuster has never been on the roof in question, nor to the insured’s property. The only documentation, I am aware of, that they have to go off of is the 6 photos I sent after the repair test plus whatever the initial adjuster took. Truthfully, I made no mention of a full approval nor provoked the need for any action at all, I had called only for a status update.
The conversation continued, I asked for some reasoning behind that comment. They stated they were not in the business of covering wear and tear due to age, which I do understand. What I do not understand, and what I politely asked/reminded them of is the fact it was already admitted there were qualifying damages present to the roofing structure covered under the policy, otherwise a repair estimate would never have been written. I asked exactly how I, as the entity performing the work, should proceed with the repairs ordered, authorized and funded by State Farm on a roof that is objectively irreparable. They offered no further instructions or guidance.
I’ve passed all of this info along to the insured, to his displeasure, and he plans on following up as well. I understand many in this sub, especially those insurance professionals, may not be very apt to give advice here. Just know that truthfully, I pride my business and my group in not being one of the common rag tag bunch of storm chasers our industry has been flooded with. Insurance work is only a portion of what we do, perhaps that is why I am stumped here. Anything anyone could offer up in terms of advice/guidance here will be greatly appreciated. TIA!!
2023.05.30 07:41 TransRational The emotions of filing a claim, and how to avoid becoming a statistic.
 | Today being what it is, I wanted to make a special post. submitted by TransRational to VeteransBenefits [link] [comments] I want to talk to you all about some of the EMOTION behind filing, as we primarily deal with the practical side of things. This is a long post (I was a Journalist in the military), but it taps into something quite a few of us go through or have gone through, especially those who file for mental health related issues. I want to start with the process of filing a claim itself. IMO it’s made intentionally complicated. There’s a good word for it - ‘obfuscation.’ The intention behind this is to prevent Veterans from completing their claims or even STARTING them because they’ve heard how difficult it can be. Particularly, when you consider the mental barriers we have to overcome. If the process took on a face, I imagine they’d look like Vogons from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (as pictured), and starting a claim looks something like this - https://preview.redd.it/g195cgk56y2b1.jpg?width=473&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8cfcdde3e1b5cbcddc66d00101fcb130ebd68cb “NEXT IN LINE! Hey there, filing for disability? Here’s what you have to do; file this paperwork, you have this amount of time, you’ll need to gather and provide your own evidence. Once you do and you’ve submitted it, you’ll need to go through a series of legal/medical appts we’ll setup for you, using only our providers of course. If you get all of that done in time, we’ll review your package. It’s all online bud. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Be sure to read our policies and procedures, understand them and act accordingly, because any mistake of any size will likely result in disqualification or a much lower rating. Our team of highly specialized bureaucrats will review your claim, insuring you completed it exactly to specification, which I’m sure you will have despite never having attempted it before. Cheer up bud, it’s only a never-ending ribbon of red tape you’re cutting through. Hell, it might even be fun right!? It’s not like anything major is on the line.’ … ‘Why are you still standing there? Is this difficult for you to understand or something? You do understand me right? What do you mean you have a hard time revisiting your trauma? Just write it all down! Don’t forget to use key words, oops shouldn’t have mentioned that never mind. Heh. Geez you big baby, that was a joke, I mean not really but I’m laughing! By the way, we’re going to need personal statements regarding your trauma from anyone around back then that can collaborate your story, otherwise, what are we even doing here? Am I right? Heh. I’m sure you can track them down, and I’m sure they’ll be willing to provide their statements for you. What do you mean you’re struggling just to get by and basic things are hard for you? Weren’t you in the military? Suck it up buttercup. God you have so many excuses. Look, can’t you see we’ve made this as simple as possible?! I don’t hear anyone else complaining! Move along now. NEXT IN LINE!’ ———————————— Let me tell you my journey to collecting disability - I knew I had a problem, I wanted to go to the VA, I even MOVED into an apartment across the street from the VA thinking that proximity would be the push I needed to help me get there. A year went by with me doing nothing but staring at their walls. I’m not sure if I ever would have gone in on my own if it wasn’t for one fateful day where… I got lucky you could say.. sort of. I was dropping off my GF at her work, which was just up the street, we got into a big fight. I yelled at her, slammed the car door several times. Unfortunately, this was typical behavior for me back then. I was a mean-spirited and sensitive piece of shit. I often flipped off the handle. So I stormed away from the car and walked home, which was of course, past the VA. After explosions like that, anger and rage gradually turns to a numbness for me, and I’m left with crippling intrusive self-deprecating thoughts. Walking down the sidewalk, approaching the main entrance to the VA, those thoughts congealed into one incessant voice - ‘This is it, if you walk by now, you’ll never go in and face your shit. Your life will be consumed by the violence in you that’s only getting worse. Do you love her? Do you want to keep hurting her? Hurting people? Go inside you chicken piece of shit. What’s wrong with you? DO IT!’ And even still, I almost walked by. But I stumbled, and slowed, and watched as my feet seemed to change direction on their own. I walked in, got processed, and was seeing a therapist within 30 minutes. I was so numb my body was buzzing. I have absolutely no memory of any conversation. But I’d made it into the system, and I learned about filing for disability. And eventually I summoned up enough courage to put in my intent to file. I went to the VA’s group therapy and their two weeks of in-patient therapy. A psychiatrist put me on anti-depressants. Things only got worse though. Another year went by and having not followed up and submitted any paperwork, I lost my original intent to file date. So I filed again. And guess what? ANOTHER year went by with me doing nothing. Meanwhile, my mental health just continued to get worse. What stopped me? I didn’t want to relive the trauma. I just didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to ask for help either. Later, I’d find out this is common. That it takes on average seven years after EOS for Veterans to file a mental health disability claim. I hit that statistic on the number. Fuckin’ eh. It’s also common for your mental health to suffer when you first start getting help for it. So much shit I didn’t know. And this doesn’t even factor how much more complicated I know things can be if you also have physical impairments to deal with. In a way, I wish all I did have was physical impairments. Those at least are compensated from EOS. PTSD? Nah, the system takes advantage of those seven years it takes us to go in.. IF we go in. The VA says, they’re not responsible for those lost years, that’s on us. I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would be if I was missing an arm or a leg, but I gotta think I’d of gone to the VA a lot sooner if that were the case. I KNOW about barriers, about feeling overwhelmed, about the hardship in revisiting trauma. About being vulnerable enough to ask others to help you file your claim. I hear people say - ‘Oh just go see the VSO or DAV or any number of organizations who will help you through this process!’ Yeah, okay. But what happens when you do? All too often you discover how swamped they are, how their efficacy ranges dramatically depending on what State/Region they’re in and who they have working/volunteering in their offices at the time. You’ll find you still have to do most of the work yourself, you’ll still have to push them to get it done. You’ll still have to check they’re doing it right. Some folks get lucky, they get good agents. You’ll hear about them, but don’t expect it and don’t for a second think that’s the norm. I know about the guilt and shame, the self-hatred of not being strong enough, of thinking you’re broken, of being your own worst enemy. The confusion, questioning how much of this is you projecting, and how much of it is the system itself. When you have mental health issues, it’s all too easy to blame yourself. The unbridled anger throughout. I know about the fear of confrontation. Of going back to the same institution that’s responsible for your struggles to begin with. The insanity of expecting anything when you’re the one holding out your hand. Of feeling like an imposter, that asking for help is condemning someone else who needs the support more than you do. Of not wanting to single yourself out as the ‘weakest-link.’ Facing that stoicism and brainwashing which served you well in service, that you now have to breakdown and overcome at least in part, so you can complete the process and stand up for what you deserve. Of hearing from Veterans who you know have issues are still clinging to that warped sense of stoicism, too afraid to make a claim themself, living in denial. And worse, disparaging those who do seek help as being weak and taking advantage of the system - mooching social services. They’ll point out and disparage the people in Vetransbenefits, fluff up their feathers and chirp about them cheating the system. If you don’t know them IRL, you can go see them over in Veterans. They’ll talk ad-nauseam about how unfair it is when they see someone get rated, and how their actions hurts us all! Completely unaware how transparent they are, how we can all see what they really want is for us to convince them that it’s okay for them to get help themselves. They’ll project all kinds of toxic shit. And while the rest of us have the courage to move forward, they’ll continue to be stuck in their past. You may face any or all of this. You may even face more. This path is unique to us all. For me, walking it was harder than anything I faced in service. What got me through it was this sub, hearing others stories like mine, the fear of losing myself, and the pain left behind from friends who took their own lives. I was already a statistic. I wasn’t about to become another one. I was already chewed up by the right arm of the big green machine, and I’m not about to let its left arm finish me off. And neither should you. You’ve got us. Keep coming here and asking questions, sharing what you’re going through. You’re not alone. You never were. Many of us know quite well how to navigate those moving parts and are more than willing to shoulder the load with you. Just the other day I had a conversation with another Vet I met on here living on the other side of the country. I learned quite a bit. It never fails to surprise me how many folks go out of their way in service to others, and it reminds me of the better times in the military. So if you’re new, stick around. If you’re suffering, speak up. We got you. Thanks guys. |
2023.05.30 07:38 JojoDaBro Ok, I’m new and need some help.
First off, Hi there. I’m from Australia (for ppl who are not). Anyway, with that out the way, TO THE PROBLEM!! Imma post a list of mods I’m thinking of implementing on my y61 2000 Nissan patrol TD42T blacktop. Series 1 I believe… Lemme know your opinions or if there is anything I should think about adding or taking off the wish list. Btw it’ll be done slowly bit by bit. Any questions just ask. Btw paint job is coz it’s got quite a bit of clear coat peeling.
ACCESSORIES LIST: … PANEL WORK: PAINT JOB! Fine-rough black Raptor on all black finishes, Hood scoop, …
BAR WORK: Bulbar, Arb side rails (scrub bars), Arb Rock sliders, Arb rear Bar w/ Tyre barn-door thingie, Bash plate, …
ELETRICAL: Stedi light bar (bulbar), Stedi light bar (roof rack), Reverse camera + front camera, LED strip light on bonnet, LED lighting under vehicle, LED lighting in interior pillars, GME radio, Battery Box (DUEL setup), Red arch System, Solar, All electrical wires re-done THICKER, …
OTHER STUFF THAT APPARENTLY YOU DONT CALL MODS: (AND NOT REALLY ACCESSORIES), Steering circle kit, New tyres + new rims, Recaro Seats (?), old - man - emu suspension * (shacks + springs), Winch w/ air free spool (+ in-cabin controls), Front + rear Air lockers ARB, Air compressor ARB, Fridge + fridge Slide, Draws, wrap around awning, Water tank in back door w/ faucet in door, Folding table on back door w/ built in - collapsible-sink, Recovery gear, + first aid, + Fire extinguisher, All belts replaced, Silicon hoses, Roof console, Gas piston(s) on doors, Moly system in centre console for pens/knifes etc, Compass and stability globe, Sound deadening in floor, Hard plastic floor mats, Moly Rear seat storage, …
ENGINE MODS: Snorkel, Airbox, Injectors (?), 230 hp fuel pump, 18 Garrat turbo, Intercooler, Dyno tune.
submitted by JojoDaBro to 4x4 [link] [comments]
ACCESSORIES LIST: … PANEL WORK: PAINT JOB! Fine-rough black Raptor on all black finishes, Hood scoop, …
BAR WORK: Bulbar, Arb side rails (scrub bars), Arb Rock sliders, Arb rear Bar w/ Tyre barn-door thingie, Bash plate, …
ELETRICAL: Stedi light bar (bulbar), Stedi light bar (roof rack), Reverse camera + front camera, LED strip light on bonnet, LED lighting under vehicle, LED lighting in interior pillars, GME radio, Battery Box (DUEL setup), Red arch System, Solar, All electrical wires re-done THICKER, …
OTHER STUFF THAT APPARENTLY YOU DONT CALL MODS: (AND NOT REALLY ACCESSORIES), Steering circle kit, New tyres + new rims, Recaro Seats (?), old - man - emu suspension * (shacks + springs), Winch w/ air free spool (+ in-cabin controls), Front + rear Air lockers ARB, Air compressor ARB, Fridge + fridge Slide, Draws, wrap around awning, Water tank in back door w/ faucet in door, Folding table on back door w/ built in - collapsible-sink, Recovery gear, + first aid, + Fire extinguisher, All belts replaced, Silicon hoses, Roof console, Gas piston(s) on doors, Moly system in centre console for pens/knifes etc, Compass and stability globe, Sound deadening in floor, Hard plastic floor mats, Moly Rear seat storage, …
ENGINE MODS: Snorkel, Airbox, Injectors (?), 230 hp fuel pump, 18 Garrat turbo, Intercooler, Dyno tune.
2023.05.30 07:34 LukeGoldberg72 “Documents obtained in a lawsuit against the Central Intelligence Agency show that the agency is secretly involved in the surveillance of unidentified flying objects and has been since 1949” - The New York Times, 14 Jan 1979.
 | submitted by LukeGoldberg72 to interestingasfuck [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 07:34 aico752 28 [M4F] #South Bay - San Jose -Half White/Half Asian, 6'0" in height.
Pictures
Hi there, I'm a 28-year-old Asian guy who's pursuing a career in business. Empathy, understanding, and compassion are core values of mine, and I believe in treating everyone with the kindness they deserve.
Recently, I've started going to the gym to improve my fitness and overall health. My focus is on building muscle mass through weightlifting and improving my cardio with swimming and running. While I'm still working on toning up my upper body and shedding some fat, I'm enjoying the process of taking care of my body and seeing the positive changes it brings.
In terms of personal hygiene, I believe in taking care of myself and making an effort to always look and feel my best. I use facial cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen regularly. It's the little things that make a big difference, and I think that taking care of oneself is key to living a happy and healthy life.
When it comes to my ideal partner, I'm looking for someone who shares my values and has a growth mindset. I'm attracted to people who are optimistic and believe that instead of being complacent, if they want something they will take steps towards getting it. I'm also looking for someone who is generous with their time and care, as I myself am naturally the type to put in a lot of effort and time into the person I am talking with. Communication is a two way street and if one person is carrying the conversation it just won't work. I'm not the type to chase if that's what they are expecting.
I'm starting to get into outdoor activities and would love to find someone who can motivate me to try new things and explore new places. I'm excited to see where life takes me, and I'm looking forward to meeting someone who can share that journey with me.
On a personal level, I am open to just friends, friends with benefits, and dating. Ideally dating, something just switched in me and I feel like it would be more fulfilling for me to pursue a real relationship with someone that I am happy with instead of bouncing around between people. Which isn't bad either but I want someone I can be loyal to and not be on the search for my next one. Basically I'm thinking long term now. If we do something casual, I cannot stress this enough that it should be communicated so both parties know what they are getting into.
I could go on and on but for now I think it's best I leave the personality things to getting to know one another. I prefer my communication over the phone (calling) or meeting up in person. Not the biggest fan of small talk and texting but will do if that's what you're comfortable with.
I should probably mention I have a type. I like fair skinned/light skinned mexicans/asians/whites.
If interested send a message/chat with your basic info. Such as name, location, age, number, what you're looking for, and a picture if you don't mind. I'd like to know who I'm talking to.
submitted by aico752 to sjr4r [link] [comments]
Hi there, I'm a 28-year-old Asian guy who's pursuing a career in business. Empathy, understanding, and compassion are core values of mine, and I believe in treating everyone with the kindness they deserve.
Recently, I've started going to the gym to improve my fitness and overall health. My focus is on building muscle mass through weightlifting and improving my cardio with swimming and running. While I'm still working on toning up my upper body and shedding some fat, I'm enjoying the process of taking care of my body and seeing the positive changes it brings.
In terms of personal hygiene, I believe in taking care of myself and making an effort to always look and feel my best. I use facial cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen regularly. It's the little things that make a big difference, and I think that taking care of oneself is key to living a happy and healthy life.
When it comes to my ideal partner, I'm looking for someone who shares my values and has a growth mindset. I'm attracted to people who are optimistic and believe that instead of being complacent, if they want something they will take steps towards getting it. I'm also looking for someone who is generous with their time and care, as I myself am naturally the type to put in a lot of effort and time into the person I am talking with. Communication is a two way street and if one person is carrying the conversation it just won't work. I'm not the type to chase if that's what they are expecting.
I'm starting to get into outdoor activities and would love to find someone who can motivate me to try new things and explore new places. I'm excited to see where life takes me, and I'm looking forward to meeting someone who can share that journey with me.
On a personal level, I am open to just friends, friends with benefits, and dating. Ideally dating, something just switched in me and I feel like it would be more fulfilling for me to pursue a real relationship with someone that I am happy with instead of bouncing around between people. Which isn't bad either but I want someone I can be loyal to and not be on the search for my next one. Basically I'm thinking long term now. If we do something casual, I cannot stress this enough that it should be communicated so both parties know what they are getting into.
I could go on and on but for now I think it's best I leave the personality things to getting to know one another. I prefer my communication over the phone (calling) or meeting up in person. Not the biggest fan of small talk and texting but will do if that's what you're comfortable with.
I should probably mention I have a type. I like fair skinned/light skinned mexicans/asians/whites.
If interested send a message/chat with your basic info. Such as name, location, age, number, what you're looking for, and a picture if you don't mind. I'd like to know who I'm talking to.
2023.05.30 07:34 LukeGoldberg72 “Documents obtained in a lawsuit show that the CIA is secretly involved in the surveillance of unidentified flying objects and has been since 1949” - The New York Times, 14 Jan 1979.
 | submitted by LukeGoldberg72 to Damnthatsinteresting [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 07:32 PastaMakerFullOfBean Can anyone stop crying at will?
So like, when I would cry(don’t remember the last time I cried) sometimes I would stop crying for a sec and take a picture of myself with tears going down my face, then go back to bawling my eyes out. Am I the only one who does this?
submitted by PastaMakerFullOfBean to BorderlinePDisorder [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:31 KingMcnuggets I'm (40M) having boundary issues with my ex (39F)
Sorry for the long post. there's a lot of info to cover here.
About 4 years ago I reconnected with an old friend from my past. At the time I had been single and living along for a LONG time. She started hanging out at my place and being flirty, so on, so forth. We end up sleeping together one night and a relationship formed after that. At first everything was amazing. We were travelling, I was making new friends and for the first time in my life I feel like I found true happiness. Fast forward 8 months later, we decide to move in together. I thought it was rushed at first, but with my newfound happiness, I figured "hey, this can only work out well". Because of geographical reasons, I move into her house.
For the next year and a half things were going pretty well. we were travelling, having the time of our lives and had spoken more than once about marriage and kids, and the whole future. We were both on the same page. We had problems, there were little arguments, but never any fights. So when the housing market was great, I sold my house. Planning to buy myself a car that I've wanted for a while, and propose. I shouldn't have told her the last part as she now had it in her head that the day I sold that house I was going to buy a ring.
At this point were 2ish years into the relationship (\~16 months of us living together) I noticed she didn't seem to be as happy as she used to be. The smiles and laughs we used to share just didn't seem to be there anymore. She was constantly stressed out by work. It was around this time I noticed there was a drinking problem. She would get loaded and come home late, make excuses for where she had been, treat me like I was "putting her in a box" and then pass out. Next morning, she never seemed to understand why I was upset with her, she didn't remember a thing. If I questioned where she was or what she was doing, she said I was just being jealous. One night, it escalated. She was supposed to be the designated driver for a few of her friends. She ended up being brought home in a uber that night by herself because she got completely hammered and high. To the point she was laying sideways across a toilet with vomit running down her. When I went in to check on her, I found a bag of coke on the floor. This isn't something I'm OK with and I made that extremely clear. that night I snapped a picture of what I saw when I opened the bathroom door. I showed it to her the next morning, she didn't recall any of it. And seemed to be mortified by how she acted when she was drunk and on coke.
She swore she wouldn't do coke again, and the blackout drinking would never happen again.
For the next few weeks she started getting better. The drinking was tapering off and she started to seem happy again. One night, she seemed upset. so I asked her about it. She admitted to me that she had run up a LOT of debt and because she was ashamed of it, she didn't tell me, just went out and got a debt consolidation loan to pay it all off. Of course I was less than pleased that she didn't come to me with this problem, and instead went to her sister. Her rational being that this wouldn't impact my finances so what does it matter. Ok, I said, I can understand the sentiment there and let it go. She was handling the issue. Fun fact, it 100% impacted my finances as I now had to pay for essentially everything except for her half of the mortgage.
Eventually she decided to get a new job, and she bounced around a few of them. Finally landing at the company she worked for when we first started dating. Problem is, she wasn't prepared for the amount of work, which over the next few months started to wear on her more. She would come home complaining and angry, which would kill any good mood I was in. Pretty soon after that, the sex started to go downhill as she was always mad. But I thought "ok, she's in a rut. I've been there before, what can I do to help". I got to the point where I was doing EVERYTHING around the house. I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the outside of house, the dogs, the cars. Everything. I figured she'd be less stressed if she didn't have to come home and deal with any of this shit, maybe it would get us back on track. But after a while, I started feeling like she was taking advantage of me. When I would bring these feelings to her attention, she would say it's my "demons", and that I had voices in my head making me think things that aren't real. To the point she wanted me to see a therapist...so I did. after Covid lifted, he couldn't be my therapist anymore (out of state thing) and said "I can refer you to someone else if you want to talk, but you seem to be fine".
I was willing to deal with the issues and the therapy because I truly thought I was going to marry this women, I did and still do love her with my entire heart. That said, I didn't want to marry someone that doesn't have their shit together, so I put my proposal plans on hold and basically spent the next 2 years trying to get her to do the things she was constantly saying she would do. But she never did, so I never proposed.
Fast forward to a month ago, she decides she isn't happy (Thanks, in part, to the neighbor next door who's divorcing her husband for the same reason). She wants to break up. Even her friends tell her it's a mistake and she'd regret it. Not to make rash decisions, but she had already decided she fell out of love with me. She wanted to do a separation. I was willing to try, but in all honesty, I didn't want to. But again, I love her and was willing to do what it takes. we had decided I'd leave that weekend and be gone for a month. But during the week, we changed things to I would be leaving on a Thursday (may as well start now and get this shit over with). So Wednesday night, she goes out to a bar with her cousin and gets drunk, comes home 2-3 hours after she said she would (this has been a HUGE issue for us in the past), and got mad at me for being upset that on our last night together before the separation, she wanted to go get drunk with her cousin. She said that I never told her I was leaving Thursday, but I did. Then she saw that I was looking at houses in the area. While that may seem quick, she hadn't given me any idea of how long of a separation this was actually going to be, and it kept changing.
That Friday I took off work and packed all of my stuff, everything I owned into trucks and moved it out of her house with the exception of a piece of furniture that I simply cannot lift and will have to hire someone to get out. I told her I'd get it out when I could. she was fine with that. I moved into my mothers basement. Still thinking this could be salvaged, I stopped looking at houses. We went out to dinner one night that week and I thought we were going to work things out. She kept saying she just needed time to "work on herself", she could offer me nothing in the way of hope as far as how this relationship would work out. So I kinda looked at it as "if she's taking care of herself, I need to do the same"...So I started looking for houses again. I found one, bought it, and in 1 week, I take possession of it.
We spent 2 weeks not talking at the behest of her sister and mother that said we need a clean break. After that we started talking again, I went over to her house to collect some mail. She kind of randomly said during this separation that sex didn't need to stop as "we both have needs". I talked to a few friends (coincidentally that I met through her, that all seem to be thinking she's in the wrong here), and almost every one of them said NOT to take her up on the sex offer. With the exception of 1 friend that said "hey, it's familiar, may as well take it while it's being offered". So when I went to get some mail from her house later that week (I was in the neighborhood visiting some friends) she offered to cuddle. I'm a big cuddler, and I've had a rough month since she essentially threw me out of her house. Even knowing it was a bad idea, I went along with it because I was desperate for the normalcy and affection that I used to get from her. As you can probably imagine, cuddling didn't last long and admittedly, we had some of the best sex that night we've ever had. Here's the issue. As I suspected (and lied to myself about) I can't separate sex from intimacy's. They are essentially one in the same for me. I've never been a casual sex person. BUT, It was fun, she enjoyed it. Neither of us regret it.
A few days later (last friday) we're at a "celebration of life" of sorts for a friends dog. This is the first time she and I have interacted in front of ALL of our friends. I was alright, till she pulled up in her car. I broke. The glass shards holding me together all fell apart and she could tell I was having a panic attack. She and I walked around the other side of my car for a good 35-40 minutes and talked while I kind of composed myself. She assured me she was in the same boat, just not showing it. It bugs me she can simultaneously be the cause of and solution to my panic attacks. We ended up parting ways as she was going out with her cousins for the evening. I stayed with the friends and managed to wake up at a different friends house the next morning. I'm still not sure how that happened, I guess I had a little too much to drink (Don't worry, I left my car)
Over the past few weeks she's been sending me pictures of things she's doing around the house. All the things I've been asking her to do for years. All the things that, had she done them in a reasonable amount of time, I 100% would have proposed and married her. But she waited until I was gone.
So here I am now. We haven't really talked since that night (Friday), I've been short with her when she does message and I know she can tell. The truth is, as much as I hate it, whenever we talk, I break down. When I see her, it physically hurts. And it's not just in the moment, it takes days to recover. Tonight I was at a friends house (who lives down the street). She drives by and rolls down the window. She asked if it would be alright if she came down for a beer. It's not my house, I'm not saying no. And I told her I'd be leaving in a few minutes anyway. As soon as she pulled away, this friend's wife said that she absolutely still wants to sleep with me, but wants no attachments.
On the way home (I left before she got there), I was pissed. Angry as hell that after 4 years of my life, After destroying every semblance of happiness that I had, she had the audacity to think that I'd just stick around for her pleasure. As if my feelings don't matter at all. Part of me wants nothing more than to take her up on the offer, sleep with her and feel normal again. But I know if I do that, it's going to cause nothing but pain for me as she obviously just wants the benefits of a relationship, without the work involved. The other side of me is just saying to blow her off completely. But how do you write someone off that meant the world to you for the past 4 years?
So to the original question...Am I out of line with any of this? or knowing that if this is going to hurt me, I shouldn't do it? I'm tired of feeling worthless and doubting myself. but more than that, it kills me that she doesn't even seem phased by the fact that she just destroyed my self worth and everything I thought was true.
Sorry for the long post, This has been building for weeks and I'm legitimately lost.
Any help appreciated.
submitted by KingMcnuggets to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
About 4 years ago I reconnected with an old friend from my past. At the time I had been single and living along for a LONG time. She started hanging out at my place and being flirty, so on, so forth. We end up sleeping together one night and a relationship formed after that. At first everything was amazing. We were travelling, I was making new friends and for the first time in my life I feel like I found true happiness. Fast forward 8 months later, we decide to move in together. I thought it was rushed at first, but with my newfound happiness, I figured "hey, this can only work out well". Because of geographical reasons, I move into her house.
For the next year and a half things were going pretty well. we were travelling, having the time of our lives and had spoken more than once about marriage and kids, and the whole future. We were both on the same page. We had problems, there were little arguments, but never any fights. So when the housing market was great, I sold my house. Planning to buy myself a car that I've wanted for a while, and propose. I shouldn't have told her the last part as she now had it in her head that the day I sold that house I was going to buy a ring.
At this point were 2ish years into the relationship (\~16 months of us living together) I noticed she didn't seem to be as happy as she used to be. The smiles and laughs we used to share just didn't seem to be there anymore. She was constantly stressed out by work. It was around this time I noticed there was a drinking problem. She would get loaded and come home late, make excuses for where she had been, treat me like I was "putting her in a box" and then pass out. Next morning, she never seemed to understand why I was upset with her, she didn't remember a thing. If I questioned where she was or what she was doing, she said I was just being jealous. One night, it escalated. She was supposed to be the designated driver for a few of her friends. She ended up being brought home in a uber that night by herself because she got completely hammered and high. To the point she was laying sideways across a toilet with vomit running down her. When I went in to check on her, I found a bag of coke on the floor. This isn't something I'm OK with and I made that extremely clear. that night I snapped a picture of what I saw when I opened the bathroom door. I showed it to her the next morning, she didn't recall any of it. And seemed to be mortified by how she acted when she was drunk and on coke.
She swore she wouldn't do coke again, and the blackout drinking would never happen again.
For the next few weeks she started getting better. The drinking was tapering off and she started to seem happy again. One night, she seemed upset. so I asked her about it. She admitted to me that she had run up a LOT of debt and because she was ashamed of it, she didn't tell me, just went out and got a debt consolidation loan to pay it all off. Of course I was less than pleased that she didn't come to me with this problem, and instead went to her sister. Her rational being that this wouldn't impact my finances so what does it matter. Ok, I said, I can understand the sentiment there and let it go. She was handling the issue. Fun fact, it 100% impacted my finances as I now had to pay for essentially everything except for her half of the mortgage.
Eventually she decided to get a new job, and she bounced around a few of them. Finally landing at the company she worked for when we first started dating. Problem is, she wasn't prepared for the amount of work, which over the next few months started to wear on her more. She would come home complaining and angry, which would kill any good mood I was in. Pretty soon after that, the sex started to go downhill as she was always mad. But I thought "ok, she's in a rut. I've been there before, what can I do to help". I got to the point where I was doing EVERYTHING around the house. I'm doing the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the outside of house, the dogs, the cars. Everything. I figured she'd be less stressed if she didn't have to come home and deal with any of this shit, maybe it would get us back on track. But after a while, I started feeling like she was taking advantage of me. When I would bring these feelings to her attention, she would say it's my "demons", and that I had voices in my head making me think things that aren't real. To the point she wanted me to see a therapist...so I did. after Covid lifted, he couldn't be my therapist anymore (out of state thing) and said "I can refer you to someone else if you want to talk, but you seem to be fine".
I was willing to deal with the issues and the therapy because I truly thought I was going to marry this women, I did and still do love her with my entire heart. That said, I didn't want to marry someone that doesn't have their shit together, so I put my proposal plans on hold and basically spent the next 2 years trying to get her to do the things she was constantly saying she would do. But she never did, so I never proposed.
Fast forward to a month ago, she decides she isn't happy (Thanks, in part, to the neighbor next door who's divorcing her husband for the same reason). She wants to break up. Even her friends tell her it's a mistake and she'd regret it. Not to make rash decisions, but she had already decided she fell out of love with me. She wanted to do a separation. I was willing to try, but in all honesty, I didn't want to. But again, I love her and was willing to do what it takes. we had decided I'd leave that weekend and be gone for a month. But during the week, we changed things to I would be leaving on a Thursday (may as well start now and get this shit over with). So Wednesday night, she goes out to a bar with her cousin and gets drunk, comes home 2-3 hours after she said she would (this has been a HUGE issue for us in the past), and got mad at me for being upset that on our last night together before the separation, she wanted to go get drunk with her cousin. She said that I never told her I was leaving Thursday, but I did. Then she saw that I was looking at houses in the area. While that may seem quick, she hadn't given me any idea of how long of a separation this was actually going to be, and it kept changing.
That Friday I took off work and packed all of my stuff, everything I owned into trucks and moved it out of her house with the exception of a piece of furniture that I simply cannot lift and will have to hire someone to get out. I told her I'd get it out when I could. she was fine with that. I moved into my mothers basement. Still thinking this could be salvaged, I stopped looking at houses. We went out to dinner one night that week and I thought we were going to work things out. She kept saying she just needed time to "work on herself", she could offer me nothing in the way of hope as far as how this relationship would work out. So I kinda looked at it as "if she's taking care of herself, I need to do the same"...So I started looking for houses again. I found one, bought it, and in 1 week, I take possession of it.
We spent 2 weeks not talking at the behest of her sister and mother that said we need a clean break. After that we started talking again, I went over to her house to collect some mail. She kind of randomly said during this separation that sex didn't need to stop as "we both have needs". I talked to a few friends (coincidentally that I met through her, that all seem to be thinking she's in the wrong here), and almost every one of them said NOT to take her up on the sex offer. With the exception of 1 friend that said "hey, it's familiar, may as well take it while it's being offered". So when I went to get some mail from her house later that week (I was in the neighborhood visiting some friends) she offered to cuddle. I'm a big cuddler, and I've had a rough month since she essentially threw me out of her house. Even knowing it was a bad idea, I went along with it because I was desperate for the normalcy and affection that I used to get from her. As you can probably imagine, cuddling didn't last long and admittedly, we had some of the best sex that night we've ever had. Here's the issue. As I suspected (and lied to myself about) I can't separate sex from intimacy's. They are essentially one in the same for me. I've never been a casual sex person. BUT, It was fun, she enjoyed it. Neither of us regret it.
A few days later (last friday) we're at a "celebration of life" of sorts for a friends dog. This is the first time she and I have interacted in front of ALL of our friends. I was alright, till she pulled up in her car. I broke. The glass shards holding me together all fell apart and she could tell I was having a panic attack. She and I walked around the other side of my car for a good 35-40 minutes and talked while I kind of composed myself. She assured me she was in the same boat, just not showing it. It bugs me she can simultaneously be the cause of and solution to my panic attacks. We ended up parting ways as she was going out with her cousins for the evening. I stayed with the friends and managed to wake up at a different friends house the next morning. I'm still not sure how that happened, I guess I had a little too much to drink (Don't worry, I left my car)
Over the past few weeks she's been sending me pictures of things she's doing around the house. All the things I've been asking her to do for years. All the things that, had she done them in a reasonable amount of time, I 100% would have proposed and married her. But she waited until I was gone.
So here I am now. We haven't really talked since that night (Friday), I've been short with her when she does message and I know she can tell. The truth is, as much as I hate it, whenever we talk, I break down. When I see her, it physically hurts. And it's not just in the moment, it takes days to recover. Tonight I was at a friends house (who lives down the street). She drives by and rolls down the window. She asked if it would be alright if she came down for a beer. It's not my house, I'm not saying no. And I told her I'd be leaving in a few minutes anyway. As soon as she pulled away, this friend's wife said that she absolutely still wants to sleep with me, but wants no attachments.
On the way home (I left before she got there), I was pissed. Angry as hell that after 4 years of my life, After destroying every semblance of happiness that I had, she had the audacity to think that I'd just stick around for her pleasure. As if my feelings don't matter at all. Part of me wants nothing more than to take her up on the offer, sleep with her and feel normal again. But I know if I do that, it's going to cause nothing but pain for me as she obviously just wants the benefits of a relationship, without the work involved. The other side of me is just saying to blow her off completely. But how do you write someone off that meant the world to you for the past 4 years?
So to the original question...Am I out of line with any of this? or knowing that if this is going to hurt me, I shouldn't do it? I'm tired of feeling worthless and doubting myself. but more than that, it kills me that she doesn't even seem phased by the fact that she just destroyed my self worth and everything I thought was true.
Sorry for the long post, This has been building for weeks and I'm legitimately lost.
Any help appreciated.
2023.05.30 07:31 PastaMakerFullOfBean Can anyone stop crying at will?
So like, when I would cry(don’t remember the last time I cried) sometimes I would stop crying for a sec and take a picture of myself with tears going down my face, then go back to bawling my eyes out. Am I the only one who does this?
submitted by PastaMakerFullOfBean to AdultSelfHarm [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:30 Street-Accountant796 Post-Scarsity isn't Post-Suffering 46
Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse
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The way I saw it, the galaxy was a cruel thing tenanted mostly by uncaring inhabitants who willfully caused pain and suffering to other beings, or at least felt no concern for the hurt they dealt or tolerated.
Whenever I thought about my father - the begetter of children he never saw as people but merely expendable commodities - I started to seethe and sulfuric, slender ringlets of smoke drifted menacingly from my nostrils.
It's not like I didn't try to be better, I really did. Those hours trying to get help from him to my mother bleeding to death in front of me spawned a darker me. The hours sitting in my mother's and siblings' blood with the quiet of their deaths screaming in my mind, those hours depleted something vital in me.
I am able to forgive if not forget. I forgave the commander when he intentionally hurt me with the gravity change. I forgave the IASO for her antics in our initial interview. But my sire? I didn't think so. Other Coltavalke? I didn't feel like being a member of that particular gang.
So how is Mateo ok with Ouer, the Eoan teenager?!? Her entire species was guilty of the most horrible acts against sentients and sapients. I understood not blaming the kid but how did he stay in the same room without being overwhelmed with disgust and fury?
Well, Mateo was befriending the monster lookalike and I was there to support him.
We were behind the door of the youth habitation unit belonging to Saša, Ouer's guardian for the moment. An almost breathtakingly handsome, young Deblom male opened the door.
Deblom male: Yes? Who're you here for?
Milko (after shaking his head slightly to clear her thoughts): I'm Milko, a Coltavalke, and this is Mateo, a human. We're here for Ouer.
Deblom male: Who?
Mateo: It's ok, we're on the list of approved visitors.
Deblom: Great for you.
His handsomeness was waning in my eyes. There's no beauty in the galaxy to make up for these manners. Still, I tried again, politely. I tried to keep smoke from escaping but keeping it in was making my eyes water.
Milko: This is Saša's habitation unit, isn't it?
Deblom: Maybe.
Mateo: Is Saša here?
Deblom: Don'tknow.
Or care, it seemed. He was leaning to the doorframe at an increasingly alarming angle. His eyes were half closed in a way he probably thought was sexy but came across as exhausted and dull. Suddenly I saw Ouer in the room behind the obtuse Deblom.
Ouer: Are you here to see me?
At the sudden sound of the low gurgling Eoan nightmare fuel of a voice, the Deblum guy exceeded his maximum lean angle and unceremoniously plonked on the floor. It was very satisfying to see him blinking several times like a confused Huuq.
I held Mateo's hand and we curtly stepped over him to our new friend.
Milko: Good...
Mateo: ...morning,...
Milko: ...Ouer!
Ouer: You came! You actually came! That guy kept telling me you didn't mean it as a promise. He said nobody would think twice betraying the likes of me!
Saša (stepping into the room from some smaller room in the back): Who said that?
It took him about half a human second to find the Deblom guy on the floor wearing an obnoxious smirk. He was lying in a weird pose on the floor, one leg bend up, opening his crotch area in a way that would be obscene if it weren't so utterly ridiculous. Saša sighed.
Mateo: Saša, we came to take Ouer to play in the private shore area. One of our friends is already there. If Ouer wants to come, of course.
Saša: This is just having some good-natured fun together, kids only?
Milko: "Young people", please, not "kids"! Sir.
Saša: Of course. It was just a slip of the tongue.
Mateo: Then yes, sir, just us. If we happen to start discussing some legal stuff, we'll inform everyone. It's not the idea, though.
Saša: Ouer, do you wish to go?
Ouer: Oh, yes, yes, please!
Saša: Use the lift at the end of the corridor. Tierpe, c'mon, let's go discuss this in my office. Up, up, up: other people need to use that threshold. It's not there purely as a background for your pin-up poses!
Mateo: We have a friend, Caleo. Please, be very careful with him. He very nearly died a few days ago. He is aquatic, small, and cute.
Milko: He used to be enslaved, his entire life until now. And his slavers directly caused his condition. He had never seen a bath, not to mention a beach. He wasn't taught anything. He didn't even have a name until Mateo gave him one.
Mateo: We were there when he woke up, and feel very protective towards him. He doesn't know how the real world works.
Milko: He has known no kindness.
Mateo: He has never had anything, not even the basics.
Milko: They didn't give the enslaved children even a glass or a mug to drink from. A bowl on the floor if they were really lucky, mostly just some used water was splashed on the floor for them to lick.
Mateo: I took a bath with him on our spaceship. He - an aquatic child - had never before been immersed in water!
Milko: Sorry to rant on you. It's not like you did anything to him.
Mateo: The injustice of it, the sheer agony these kids endured...
Milko: ...it just gets us very riled up.
Mateo: Partly because of our own trauma and enslavement. Which was not that bad.
Ouer: Not as bad?! You almost died. Your sister did die. You were tortured and eaten for months until you rescued yourself!
Milko: Not to mention the slave work we were forced to do at the space station, Mateo.
Ouer: Aren't you still having physical problems you are here to fix? And the degree of enslavement and torture is not some competition! What one person might not even remember might be extremely traumatic to another. And it doesn't mean they're weaker or anything.
Mateo: Wow, Ouer! That was well put! Race you to the elevator!
Milko: No fair! My legs are short!
Ouer (whisking by Milko): Well I don't have legs at all, just one muscular foot!
Really wouldn't have thought it possible but despite Mateo's head start the legless mollusk won the race. Soon we were at the private shore. It was - of course - an artificial beach with one-third sand and two-thirds water. The HOTCHI-station had several of these as well as other environments to help with rehabilitation after surgeries or hospital stays.
It was perfect for our purposes. Ouer wasn't guilty in any way of the previous attack on the HOTCHI station. But his physical form would trigger horrendous memories in several patients and many of the staff here. We decided public areas were to be avoided, for now.
And here I was, on the very station our hated warriors had desecrated in acts more vile than anywhere else. But I was allowed to move around and meet people! And now someone - two someones - wanted to do something incredibly nice to me!
Their friend had never been immersed in water in his life. Mateo and Milko seemed to find this especially condemning since the child was of an aquatic species. Like me.
I didn't know if I should tell them that I hadn't even ever seen enough water to submerge in. I wondered if it would make me look too pitiful.
"Shore." I knew what the word meant. I had seen a low-resolution picture of one. I almost hyperventilated thinking I'd get to see one in real life. It was artificial, I knew that. But most things in space are.
We stepped in the omnidirectional hover-lift. The lift had minimal friction as it hovered magnetically in the shaft. The ride was smooth, as were the transitions from vertical to horizontal.
But the best part was the interior of the lift. Even though the travel only took some minutes there was ample room and an abundance of seating options. This was a hospital and the convalescents were given every opportunity to do things and not just forlornly lie on a bed.
One side was for mammals with seats that conformed to different kinds of people. On the opposing side were perches and nests for avians. That section also had branches and caverns for insectoids.
And the back wall, directly where you looked when you entered, was the section for aquatic and amphibious species. With a push of a button, you could get either freshwater or saline water in different concentrations.
You could get totally underwater, sit in a seat partially underwater, or get water osmotically just by holding onto a bar with a partially permeable membrane. I used the last method. These humans, they think of everything. You could even add small molecules of nutrients of your choice to the solution. It was so refreshing after so long in the relatively dry spaces the Terrans preferred.
In truth, when the elevator ride was over I kinda wishes it had lasted longer. But the siren song of a shore was too enticing to ignore.
The elevator chauffeured us right outside our private shore. The door faded out to let us pass into a corridor. A small cephalopod child was impatiently waiting for us.
They were mostly diaphanous with a blue tint, possibly for sun protection. Some parts of them were darker blue, presumably for more protection against harmful UV and galactic cosmic radiation.
They had no hard external shell or internal bone, three hearts were visible, and their delicate tentacles were curling and uncurling with excitement.
Caleo: Mateo! Milko! Is the shore here? Right here? I feel weird but good weird. Is that normal? Who is that with you? Are they nice? I'm feeling sooo good weird!
Mateo: Slow down a tad, Caleo! Good weird is probably excitement. Excitement is a really good feeling, right?
Caleo: Yes, good, good! Good weird excitement! A good, new word!
Milko: Caleo, this is our new friend Ouer. She is an Eoan, of the good ones. Ouer, this is our friend Caleo. We don't know the species' name, though.
Ouer: Very good and exciting to meet you, Caleo. My parents taught me how to recognize many sapient, aquatic, and amphibian species. You know, not to... accidentally mistake them for a food source. Caleo is an Urtsas. They are masters in camouflage.
Mateo: Wow, thanks, Ouer! Did you hear that, Caleo? Your people are called Urtsas!
Milko: Later, it would be really great if you, Ouer, could tell us what else you know about the Urtsas. We hope to eventually contact Caleo's people, maybe even some relatives.
Mateo: But now, behold the shore!
The large door dissolved into the air and revealed the paradise within.
Warm airflow with tiny drops of salt water caressed me tantalizingly, practically propelling my body toward the shore. I felt directional warmth and light. It looked like the ceiling wasn't there. Instead, it looked like the sky, incredibly high above. And the warmth came from a light yellow ball in the sky. I looked at Mateo, incredibly. He lifted his shoulders for a moment.
Mateo: Our cradle has one white-colored yellow dwarf star. I'm told this is an approximation of how it looks seeing it through Earth's atmosphere. It looks yellow.
Ouer: You're told? You haven't been there?
Mateo: We were six when our detestable uncle decided to kill us slowly by selling us to an Eoan ship as food. The few years with him before that weren't any better. We weren't let outside much, and he had newspapers glued to cover the windows for some obscure reason. I must have seen the Sun, but don't recall.
Milko: I'm not even sure if there are beaches on our planet. The space station we grew up on definitely didn't. This will be our first time experiencing this as well! Let's go!
These two were candid when talking about their frankly horrible past. But they were not wallowing in the wretchedness of it all. They looked towards new, positive experiences with their heads held high. They had their severe trauma. I had seen that myself. They just seemed to grasp whatever positive experiences they encountered with all manipulation extremities. And then share it others.
The floor transitioned into fine sand. There was a rockier part but I wanted to feel the sand under my foot. It was so much finer than the coarse rubble my family had to acquiesce with. Rubble made from ground, non-metallic spaceship salvage.
I reveled in the sublime experience of the smooth sand, the sunshine, and the glorious breeze. Only it was cut short by excited, high-pitched squeals. I turned around at couldn't help but laugh.
Now I knew my form was monstrous. That was the day I found out my laugh was a sound causing instinctual, instantaneous horror in other beings. Had it only been Mateo - whose association with the sound was in all probability horrific. But no. Equal terror had engulfed also Caleo and Milko, who had never heard it before.
Mateo recovered first. He had stepped in front of Milko protectively and was extending a hand to yank Caleo to safety as well. Milko had dropped her head. Something was coming out of her nostrils, something gaseous, burning, and sulfuric. Also, some sort of chitin plates on her back were raised.
Caleo had frozen mid-squeal. Half of his tentacles were pointing up at varying angles, clearly just thrown sand up in the air. A few were digging sand out of his gelatinous body, and the rest had been threading the sand, making him half-sink inside the sand dune.
I couldn't help it. It was all so hilarious. I fell backward into the sand and roared in laughter. As I said, Mateo recovered first.
Mateo: That... that eldritch sound came from you?
Milko: Eldritch?
Mateo: Right. It's a handy word for something otherworldly, eerie, and unnatural that inspires immediate fear.
Milko: A good word working hard to convey a lot of meaning.
Mateo: Quite. Ouer, was that your laughter?
Ouer: Well, yes. Caleo looked so adorably funny, I couldn't help it!
Hardly had I said that when something sandy and sticky with way too many thin tentacles jumped on my unsuspecting and unprepared soft part. It was my turn to squeal shrilly. Except it came out more like a feeble yelp due to the tentacles pressing on my air-breathing organ.
I was stunned for a moment. A good thing I was. The child was obviously not attacking with menace but incredibly with joy. They were laughing in a way that distantly mimicked mine! Seeing that my other two friends' alarm converted into hilarity as well.
The sand was fun but the smell of salt water and the sound of the water moving rhythmically soon became irresistible. When we arrived at the point where the water started we all just looked at it in wonder. It was magical. It was soothing. Peaceful. Awe-inspiring. Home.
In the shallow, the water was turquoise and moved further into the sand and then back again in a gentle, slightly froth-edged movement. The water seemed to sparkle in the light of the sun. I was hypnotized.
Mateo: Those are waves! They're so...so... beautiful!
Ouer: Yes, that's the word I was looking for: waves!
Caleo: Ayeeeij!
We turned to look at Caleo who was waddling towards the water. He stopped at a place where the water was only a few centimeters deep.
Caleo: Ooooh, I like this moving water! And I like the water-sand that moves under me! C'mon, you slow people, come try this!
That was all the rest of us needed to join the kid. Mateo had quickly taken off most of his clothes and was wearing short pants. I had to fast intake a large amount of air when I saw the scars on his body.
I would never, ever, in any circumstance belittle anyone's trauma again like I did when we first met. How - just how - had he survived?
He joined Caleo in the shallow water, lifting his legs like a decapod crustacean, trying to bring wet sand up with his toes and throwing water on himself - and Caleo who happened to be near him. Caleo retaliated by sucking water in through their body and then squirting it on Mateo's face in a stream. A war ensued, one with water, wet sand, and laughter as weapons.
I looked at Milko. She stood timidly at the fringe of the water, just letting the very tips of her feet touch the water. She felt my gaze and looked a little embarrassed.
Milko: I don't think our planet has surface water in any meaningful quantities. We have mountains and meadows, valleys and small mountain brooks. And rocky desert galore. I'm also not sure if my form is compatible with floating.
Mateo: Neither is Ouer's. You could always dive and just come back up for short periods to take some air.
Milko: Brother, you don't swim either!
Mateo: No. But I can always stand and walk in shallow water. And I can sit in the water!
And that's when he plopped down to sit. The water splashed everywhere, even on Milko. I got some, too. That's when Milko charged right in front of Mateo, made herself as wide as possible, and splashed him really well when she plopped down to sit.
Mateo cleared the water from his face and laughed. But that was the moment the dragon girl had waited. She lifted and struck the water hard on her long, prehensile, and powerful tail. Mateo got a good spurt of salt water into his open mouth.
By then Milko had sprinted away. Mateo gave chase. But the two were laughing the entire time. It was just play.
I went to the shallow and let the waves wash my lower body. It was almost overwhelming. Caleo approached me and tapped my shell with one thin tentacle.
Caleo: I know. More water than you can understand. I had no words. I couldn't think, just feel.
We stood there together for several minutes, two aquatic beings, pondering things too big for our brains.
Caleo: Wanna go deeper?
Ouer: I'm afraid I go underwater completely and my gills won't work. I have never needed them before.
Caleo: Don't worry. Even if they don't work, you can hold your breath until you get up again.
Ouer: You are very smart.
Caleo: No, I'm dumb. No one says it here, but my owners did. All the time.
Ouer: They weren't your owners, Caleo. They were criminals, kidnappers, and slavers. Slavers of children, which makes them the worst of all slavers.
Caleo: What is kidnapping?
Ouer: Take a person away by force or by lying and not letting them go.
Caleo: They didn't do that. They bought my egg and made me. So I was theirs to do what they liked with.
Mateo: Is that what they said? They were lying to you. They didn't make you, Caleo. Your parents did.
Caleo: But maybe my parents gave ... sold...
Milko: That doesn't matter. Stolen, bought, kidnapped, cheated, found, incubated, whatever. You are a sapient being and sapient beings cannot be owned.
Mateo: Ouer was right: they didn't own you. They were illegally keeping you imprisoned, they hurt you and they forced you to work for them. They are scum.
Caleo: Scum?
Mateo: You know how trash comes to the surface of water? If you have really dirty, trashy, smelly, horrible water, what comes to the surface of that? The most horrible of the horrible? That is scum.
Caleo let out a peal of surprised laughter. We all joined. Then we all went a little deeper into the water. Caleo suddenly disappeared from view to our alarm. But soon I could see them swooshing here and there, propelled by their tentacles. I pointed them to Mateo and Milko.
I approached the deep carefully. The more of my body I got under water the better I felt. The buoyancy of the water made me feel a lot more graceful. A lot less monsterlike.
At some point, I realized I was getting oxygen from the water when my gills were still above it.
Ouer: Mateo and Milko, why am I breathing water without my gills?!
Milko: I read about this. Many beings like you can breathe through your skin. And your gills double as a sort of mouth.
Ouer: Mouth?!? You're not serious!
Mateo: It's true. If you are in a body of water that has food particles, your gills trap those small particles. You are quite remarkable, Ouer!
Ouer: Can you come with me to the deep water? I'm a little apprehensive still...
Mateo; I would love to ... but ... I don't know how to swim...
Ouer: Oh, I'm sorry I asked.
Mateo: It's nothing. I mean...it doesn't matter.
Caleo: Ouer! Ouer! Ouer! Come and swim with me!
Mateo: Go on, Ouer! Go have fun!
And fun I had! I started to feel like these people could be trusted. Mainly because they genuinely wanted to give me and Caleo a wonderful day. And they asked no questions or even hinted that I should now reciprocate somehow.
I slept so well after that day. I only wondered if our planet used to be like that. I also wondered if my parents experienced water like that.
And slowly I started to feel some hope for the future. Maybe my people could find a watery home. Live and not only exist.
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POV: Milko
I didn't know how Mateo did it. Forgave so easily. I was not that good; not that benevolent.The way I saw it, the galaxy was a cruel thing tenanted mostly by uncaring inhabitants who willfully caused pain and suffering to other beings, or at least felt no concern for the hurt they dealt or tolerated.
Whenever I thought about my father - the begetter of children he never saw as people but merely expendable commodities - I started to seethe and sulfuric, slender ringlets of smoke drifted menacingly from my nostrils.
It's not like I didn't try to be better, I really did. Those hours trying to get help from him to my mother bleeding to death in front of me spawned a darker me. The hours sitting in my mother's and siblings' blood with the quiet of their deaths screaming in my mind, those hours depleted something vital in me.
I am able to forgive if not forget. I forgave the commander when he intentionally hurt me with the gravity change. I forgave the IASO for her antics in our initial interview. But my sire? I didn't think so. Other Coltavalke? I didn't feel like being a member of that particular gang.
So how is Mateo ok with Ouer, the Eoan teenager?!? Her entire species was guilty of the most horrible acts against sentients and sapients. I understood not blaming the kid but how did he stay in the same room without being overwhelmed with disgust and fury?
Well, Mateo was befriending the monster lookalike and I was there to support him.
We were behind the door of the youth habitation unit belonging to Saša, Ouer's guardian for the moment. An almost breathtakingly handsome, young Deblom male opened the door.
Deblom male: Yes? Who're you here for?
Milko (after shaking his head slightly to clear her thoughts): I'm Milko, a Coltavalke, and this is Mateo, a human. We're here for Ouer.
Deblom male: Who?
Mateo: It's ok, we're on the list of approved visitors.
Deblom: Great for you.
His handsomeness was waning in my eyes. There's no beauty in the galaxy to make up for these manners. Still, I tried again, politely. I tried to keep smoke from escaping but keeping it in was making my eyes water.
Milko: This is Saša's habitation unit, isn't it?
Deblom: Maybe.
Mateo: Is Saša here?
Deblom: Don'tknow.
Or care, it seemed. He was leaning to the doorframe at an increasingly alarming angle. His eyes were half closed in a way he probably thought was sexy but came across as exhausted and dull. Suddenly I saw Ouer in the room behind the obtuse Deblom.
Ouer: Are you here to see me?
At the sudden sound of the low gurgling Eoan nightmare fuel of a voice, the Deblum guy exceeded his maximum lean angle and unceremoniously plonked on the floor. It was very satisfying to see him blinking several times like a confused Huuq.
I held Mateo's hand and we curtly stepped over him to our new friend.
Milko: Good...
Mateo: ...morning,...
Milko: ...Ouer!
Ouer: You came! You actually came! That guy kept telling me you didn't mean it as a promise. He said nobody would think twice betraying the likes of me!
Saša (stepping into the room from some smaller room in the back): Who said that?
It took him about half a human second to find the Deblom guy on the floor wearing an obnoxious smirk. He was lying in a weird pose on the floor, one leg bend up, opening his crotch area in a way that would be obscene if it weren't so utterly ridiculous. Saša sighed.
Mateo: Saša, we came to take Ouer to play in the private shore area. One of our friends is already there. If Ouer wants to come, of course.
Saša: This is just having some good-natured fun together, kids only?
Milko: "Young people", please, not "kids"! Sir.
Saša: Of course. It was just a slip of the tongue.
Mateo: Then yes, sir, just us. If we happen to start discussing some legal stuff, we'll inform everyone. It's not the idea, though.
Saša: Ouer, do you wish to go?
Ouer: Oh, yes, yes, please!
Saša: Use the lift at the end of the corridor. Tierpe, c'mon, let's go discuss this in my office. Up, up, up: other people need to use that threshold. It's not there purely as a background for your pin-up poses!
Mateo: We have a friend, Caleo. Please, be very careful with him. He very nearly died a few days ago. He is aquatic, small, and cute.
Milko: He used to be enslaved, his entire life until now. And his slavers directly caused his condition. He had never seen a bath, not to mention a beach. He wasn't taught anything. He didn't even have a name until Mateo gave him one.
Mateo: We were there when he woke up, and feel very protective towards him. He doesn't know how the real world works.
Milko: He has known no kindness.
Mateo: He has never had anything, not even the basics.
Milko: They didn't give the enslaved children even a glass or a mug to drink from. A bowl on the floor if they were really lucky, mostly just some used water was splashed on the floor for them to lick.
Mateo: I took a bath with him on our spaceship. He - an aquatic child - had never before been immersed in water!
Milko: Sorry to rant on you. It's not like you did anything to him.
Mateo: The injustice of it, the sheer agony these kids endured...
Milko: ...it just gets us very riled up.
Mateo: Partly because of our own trauma and enslavement. Which was not that bad.
Ouer: Not as bad?! You almost died. Your sister did die. You were tortured and eaten for months until you rescued yourself!
Milko: Not to mention the slave work we were forced to do at the space station, Mateo.
Ouer: Aren't you still having physical problems you are here to fix? And the degree of enslavement and torture is not some competition! What one person might not even remember might be extremely traumatic to another. And it doesn't mean they're weaker or anything.
Mateo: Wow, Ouer! That was well put! Race you to the elevator!
Milko: No fair! My legs are short!
Ouer (whisking by Milko): Well I don't have legs at all, just one muscular foot!
Really wouldn't have thought it possible but despite Mateo's head start the legless mollusk won the race. Soon we were at the private shore. It was - of course - an artificial beach with one-third sand and two-thirds water. The HOTCHI-station had several of these as well as other environments to help with rehabilitation after surgeries or hospital stays.
It was perfect for our purposes. Ouer wasn't guilty in any way of the previous attack on the HOTCHI station. But his physical form would trigger horrendous memories in several patients and many of the staff here. We decided public areas were to be avoided, for now.
POV: Ouer
I couldn't believe it. All my life I had been hiding, knowing exposure to others would only bring suffering and death. Our species was hated for good reason and our form was disgusting.And here I was, on the very station our hated warriors had desecrated in acts more vile than anywhere else. But I was allowed to move around and meet people! And now someone - two someones - wanted to do something incredibly nice to me!
Their friend had never been immersed in water in his life. Mateo and Milko seemed to find this especially condemning since the child was of an aquatic species. Like me.
I didn't know if I should tell them that I hadn't even ever seen enough water to submerge in. I wondered if it would make me look too pitiful.
"Shore." I knew what the word meant. I had seen a low-resolution picture of one. I almost hyperventilated thinking I'd get to see one in real life. It was artificial, I knew that. But most things in space are.
We stepped in the omnidirectional hover-lift. The lift had minimal friction as it hovered magnetically in the shaft. The ride was smooth, as were the transitions from vertical to horizontal.
But the best part was the interior of the lift. Even though the travel only took some minutes there was ample room and an abundance of seating options. This was a hospital and the convalescents were given every opportunity to do things and not just forlornly lie on a bed.
One side was for mammals with seats that conformed to different kinds of people. On the opposing side were perches and nests for avians. That section also had branches and caverns for insectoids.
And the back wall, directly where you looked when you entered, was the section for aquatic and amphibious species. With a push of a button, you could get either freshwater or saline water in different concentrations.
You could get totally underwater, sit in a seat partially underwater, or get water osmotically just by holding onto a bar with a partially permeable membrane. I used the last method. These humans, they think of everything. You could even add small molecules of nutrients of your choice to the solution. It was so refreshing after so long in the relatively dry spaces the Terrans preferred.
In truth, when the elevator ride was over I kinda wishes it had lasted longer. But the siren song of a shore was too enticing to ignore.
The elevator chauffeured us right outside our private shore. The door faded out to let us pass into a corridor. A small cephalopod child was impatiently waiting for us.
They were mostly diaphanous with a blue tint, possibly for sun protection. Some parts of them were darker blue, presumably for more protection against harmful UV and galactic cosmic radiation.
They had no hard external shell or internal bone, three hearts were visible, and their delicate tentacles were curling and uncurling with excitement.
Caleo: Mateo! Milko! Is the shore here? Right here? I feel weird but good weird. Is that normal? Who is that with you? Are they nice? I'm feeling sooo good weird!
Mateo: Slow down a tad, Caleo! Good weird is probably excitement. Excitement is a really good feeling, right?
Caleo: Yes, good, good! Good weird excitement! A good, new word!
Milko: Caleo, this is our new friend Ouer. She is an Eoan, of the good ones. Ouer, this is our friend Caleo. We don't know the species' name, though.
Ouer: Very good and exciting to meet you, Caleo. My parents taught me how to recognize many sapient, aquatic, and amphibian species. You know, not to... accidentally mistake them for a food source. Caleo is an Urtsas. They are masters in camouflage.
Mateo: Wow, thanks, Ouer! Did you hear that, Caleo? Your people are called Urtsas!
Milko: Later, it would be really great if you, Ouer, could tell us what else you know about the Urtsas. We hope to eventually contact Caleo's people, maybe even some relatives.
Mateo: But now, behold the shore!
The large door dissolved into the air and revealed the paradise within.
Warm airflow with tiny drops of salt water caressed me tantalizingly, practically propelling my body toward the shore. I felt directional warmth and light. It looked like the ceiling wasn't there. Instead, it looked like the sky, incredibly high above. And the warmth came from a light yellow ball in the sky. I looked at Mateo, incredibly. He lifted his shoulders for a moment.
Mateo: Our cradle has one white-colored yellow dwarf star. I'm told this is an approximation of how it looks seeing it through Earth's atmosphere. It looks yellow.
Ouer: You're told? You haven't been there?
Mateo: We were six when our detestable uncle decided to kill us slowly by selling us to an Eoan ship as food. The few years with him before that weren't any better. We weren't let outside much, and he had newspapers glued to cover the windows for some obscure reason. I must have seen the Sun, but don't recall.
Milko: I'm not even sure if there are beaches on our planet. The space station we grew up on definitely didn't. This will be our first time experiencing this as well! Let's go!
These two were candid when talking about their frankly horrible past. But they were not wallowing in the wretchedness of it all. They looked towards new, positive experiences with their heads held high. They had their severe trauma. I had seen that myself. They just seemed to grasp whatever positive experiences they encountered with all manipulation extremities. And then share it others.
The floor transitioned into fine sand. There was a rockier part but I wanted to feel the sand under my foot. It was so much finer than the coarse rubble my family had to acquiesce with. Rubble made from ground, non-metallic spaceship salvage.
I reveled in the sublime experience of the smooth sand, the sunshine, and the glorious breeze. Only it was cut short by excited, high-pitched squeals. I turned around at couldn't help but laugh.
Now I knew my form was monstrous. That was the day I found out my laugh was a sound causing instinctual, instantaneous horror in other beings. Had it only been Mateo - whose association with the sound was in all probability horrific. But no. Equal terror had engulfed also Caleo and Milko, who had never heard it before.
Mateo recovered first. He had stepped in front of Milko protectively and was extending a hand to yank Caleo to safety as well. Milko had dropped her head. Something was coming out of her nostrils, something gaseous, burning, and sulfuric. Also, some sort of chitin plates on her back were raised.
Caleo had frozen mid-squeal. Half of his tentacles were pointing up at varying angles, clearly just thrown sand up in the air. A few were digging sand out of his gelatinous body, and the rest had been threading the sand, making him half-sink inside the sand dune.
I couldn't help it. It was all so hilarious. I fell backward into the sand and roared in laughter. As I said, Mateo recovered first.
Mateo: That... that eldritch sound came from you?
Milko: Eldritch?
Mateo: Right. It's a handy word for something otherworldly, eerie, and unnatural that inspires immediate fear.
Milko: A good word working hard to convey a lot of meaning.
Mateo: Quite. Ouer, was that your laughter?
Ouer: Well, yes. Caleo looked so adorably funny, I couldn't help it!
Hardly had I said that when something sandy and sticky with way too many thin tentacles jumped on my unsuspecting and unprepared soft part. It was my turn to squeal shrilly. Except it came out more like a feeble yelp due to the tentacles pressing on my air-breathing organ.
I was stunned for a moment. A good thing I was. The child was obviously not attacking with menace but incredibly with joy. They were laughing in a way that distantly mimicked mine! Seeing that my other two friends' alarm converted into hilarity as well.
The sand was fun but the smell of salt water and the sound of the water moving rhythmically soon became irresistible. When we arrived at the point where the water started we all just looked at it in wonder. It was magical. It was soothing. Peaceful. Awe-inspiring. Home.
In the shallow, the water was turquoise and moved further into the sand and then back again in a gentle, slightly froth-edged movement. The water seemed to sparkle in the light of the sun. I was hypnotized.
Mateo: Those are waves! They're so...so... beautiful!
Ouer: Yes, that's the word I was looking for: waves!
Caleo: Ayeeeij!
We turned to look at Caleo who was waddling towards the water. He stopped at a place where the water was only a few centimeters deep.
Caleo: Ooooh, I like this moving water! And I like the water-sand that moves under me! C'mon, you slow people, come try this!
That was all the rest of us needed to join the kid. Mateo had quickly taken off most of his clothes and was wearing short pants. I had to fast intake a large amount of air when I saw the scars on his body.
I would never, ever, in any circumstance belittle anyone's trauma again like I did when we first met. How - just how - had he survived?
He joined Caleo in the shallow water, lifting his legs like a decapod crustacean, trying to bring wet sand up with his toes and throwing water on himself - and Caleo who happened to be near him. Caleo retaliated by sucking water in through their body and then squirting it on Mateo's face in a stream. A war ensued, one with water, wet sand, and laughter as weapons.
I looked at Milko. She stood timidly at the fringe of the water, just letting the very tips of her feet touch the water. She felt my gaze and looked a little embarrassed.
Milko: I don't think our planet has surface water in any meaningful quantities. We have mountains and meadows, valleys and small mountain brooks. And rocky desert galore. I'm also not sure if my form is compatible with floating.
Mateo: Neither is Ouer's. You could always dive and just come back up for short periods to take some air.
Milko: Brother, you don't swim either!
Mateo: No. But I can always stand and walk in shallow water. And I can sit in the water!
And that's when he plopped down to sit. The water splashed everywhere, even on Milko. I got some, too. That's when Milko charged right in front of Mateo, made herself as wide as possible, and splashed him really well when she plopped down to sit.
Mateo cleared the water from his face and laughed. But that was the moment the dragon girl had waited. She lifted and struck the water hard on her long, prehensile, and powerful tail. Mateo got a good spurt of salt water into his open mouth.
By then Milko had sprinted away. Mateo gave chase. But the two were laughing the entire time. It was just play.
I went to the shallow and let the waves wash my lower body. It was almost overwhelming. Caleo approached me and tapped my shell with one thin tentacle.
Caleo: I know. More water than you can understand. I had no words. I couldn't think, just feel.
We stood there together for several minutes, two aquatic beings, pondering things too big for our brains.
Caleo: Wanna go deeper?
Ouer: I'm afraid I go underwater completely and my gills won't work. I have never needed them before.
Caleo: Don't worry. Even if they don't work, you can hold your breath until you get up again.
Ouer: You are very smart.
Caleo: No, I'm dumb. No one says it here, but my owners did. All the time.
Ouer: They weren't your owners, Caleo. They were criminals, kidnappers, and slavers. Slavers of children, which makes them the worst of all slavers.
Caleo: What is kidnapping?
Ouer: Take a person away by force or by lying and not letting them go.
Caleo: They didn't do that. They bought my egg and made me. So I was theirs to do what they liked with.
Mateo: Is that what they said? They were lying to you. They didn't make you, Caleo. Your parents did.
Caleo: But maybe my parents gave ... sold...
Milko: That doesn't matter. Stolen, bought, kidnapped, cheated, found, incubated, whatever. You are a sapient being and sapient beings cannot be owned.
Mateo: Ouer was right: they didn't own you. They were illegally keeping you imprisoned, they hurt you and they forced you to work for them. They are scum.
Caleo: Scum?
Mateo: You know how trash comes to the surface of water? If you have really dirty, trashy, smelly, horrible water, what comes to the surface of that? The most horrible of the horrible? That is scum.
Caleo let out a peal of surprised laughter. We all joined. Then we all went a little deeper into the water. Caleo suddenly disappeared from view to our alarm. But soon I could see them swooshing here and there, propelled by their tentacles. I pointed them to Mateo and Milko.
I approached the deep carefully. The more of my body I got under water the better I felt. The buoyancy of the water made me feel a lot more graceful. A lot less monsterlike.
At some point, I realized I was getting oxygen from the water when my gills were still above it.
Ouer: Mateo and Milko, why am I breathing water without my gills?!
Milko: I read about this. Many beings like you can breathe through your skin. And your gills double as a sort of mouth.
Ouer: Mouth?!? You're not serious!
Mateo: It's true. If you are in a body of water that has food particles, your gills trap those small particles. You are quite remarkable, Ouer!
Ouer: Can you come with me to the deep water? I'm a little apprehensive still...
Mateo; I would love to ... but ... I don't know how to swim...
Ouer: Oh, I'm sorry I asked.
Mateo: It's nothing. I mean...it doesn't matter.
Caleo: Ouer! Ouer! Ouer! Come and swim with me!
Mateo: Go on, Ouer! Go have fun!
And fun I had! I started to feel like these people could be trusted. Mainly because they genuinely wanted to give me and Caleo a wonderful day. And they asked no questions or even hinted that I should now reciprocate somehow.
I slept so well after that day. I only wondered if our planet used to be like that. I also wondered if my parents experienced water like that.
And slowly I started to feel some hope for the future. Maybe my people could find a watery home. Live and not only exist.
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2023.05.30 07:30 PastaMakerFullOfBean Can anyone stop crying at will?
So like, when I would cry(don’t remember the last time I cried) sometimes I would stop crying for a sec and take a picture of myself with tears going down my face, then go back to bawling my eyes out. Am I the only one who does this?
submitted by PastaMakerFullOfBean to selfharm [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:29 ToasterBathh007 What's Next After This?
Do you think it would be overkill if the next game or DLC introduced multiplayer?
This game is so fun and awesome - I think the only thing that can make it better is with a friend or two. Nintendo pretty much shit on the whole game industry with this release and its a solo game on switch hardware....
I wonder if they can pull off the same thing but with multiplayer. Kinda like the opposite of fallout 76.
submitted by ToasterBathh007 to tearsofthekingdom [link] [comments]
This game is so fun and awesome - I think the only thing that can make it better is with a friend or two. Nintendo pretty much shit on the whole game industry with this release and its a solo game on switch hardware....
I wonder if they can pull off the same thing but with multiplayer. Kinda like the opposite of fallout 76.
2023.05.30 07:28 Hairy-Ad8647 I’m obsessed with taking pictures of my build a bears, I absolutely love them so much 🥰🥰Does anyone else have this problem??!
 | submitted by Hairy-Ad8647 to buildabear [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 07:28 Key_Distribution9577 lens recommendations for canon rp
I want to start taking pictures of my son & get in to family portraits. I’m looking for a good starter lens that’s not too expensive. I have the ef 50mm 1.8 - would it make more sense to just get an adapter rather than a new rf lens?
If an adapter is the right choice, will it change the quality of pictures? I also noticed there are different types & I don’t know the difference between them, which one would be best?
Thanks!!
submitted by Key_Distribution9577 to canon [link] [comments]
If an adapter is the right choice, will it change the quality of pictures? I also noticed there are different types & I don’t know the difference between them, which one would be best?
Thanks!!
2023.05.30 07:27 Sensitive_Repair_500 HELP NEEDED- underage facebook profile with fake pictures please if you could take 10 seconds and file a complaint to facebook we can serve justice because she’s 12 and Facebook will not take it down for us go figure
submitted by Sensitive_Repair_500 to Christianity [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:26 auftragarmy The Truth About Rick The Mullet Man
There are a lot of newbies out there who don't know the actual history of Rick The Mullet Man, and I'd like to set the record straight. I was there in the OG days, with Mr88Nismo, TheGoldenPhone2, and MistahBlonde.
Mr88Nismo and GoldenPhone2 were in The Toy Chest vent (a group where prank calls would be dialed live), and there were about 10 other people in there that were online at the time. Mr88Nismo was searching through Craigslist for people to call, and that's where he found Rick, hence "I'm just sitting here on the fucking TV and computer." Nismo always liked to use Craigslist, where he also found Mopar Man.
Despite what others have said, at the time Rick lived in House Springs, MO. This was exactly what Nismo told me in DM's way back in 2009 or 2010.
At the time, there were ads on White Pages that claimed to do "comprehensive background checks", similar to the ones that are around today. The sites were complete bullshit. One of the callers paid for one once, and it turned out to be complete BS. Rick ended up paying for one, which is why he claimed "I know everything about you now, motherfucker!" Rick ended up calling a number ("I called once back to see that it was you", "your wife said its the wrong number") and he thought it was Duncan. But the numbers Nismo and Golden spoofed were just random "000122121000." So Rick never called a Soundboard Prank Caller back, he called some random Frank Garrett.
Rick said he was getting the cops involved numerous times. I knew that whenever this happened, everyone in the vent would flee, out of fear of being caught. So I submitted a FOIA request to the police and sheriff in Rick's county and no reports were ever filed by Rick.
Somehow, they lost the number in all the confusion with Skype. They didn't use VPN's back then, so they had to spoof IP addresses and use SSH tunnels in some cases, to avoid detection. They would routinely delete Skype accounts and they used a service that still exists today to spoof their phone numbers.
Fast forward and by this time, Nismo and GoldenPhone were already doing the Nightmare on Burton Street series. I wanted to find the real Rick, because I felt we could get so much more out of him.
Google used to have a service called 'phone directory', which was eventually discontinued because they published silent/private numbers, including the numbers to celebrities. This service was the only online phone directory that allowed people to search for others using only a first name. So I searched for "Rick" in one tab, and "Karen" in another tab, with the location set to Missouri. There was a Richard and Karen living in a "McMansion" in MO, and another couple living in House Springs in a trailer park in House Springs, MO.
I called him at around 2 AM, and it went straight to voicemail. I couldn't help myself, and I used the Duncan soundboard on the voicemail.
Nismo was the first person I told. He confirmed the number was the original, and he told GoldenPhone. They took a different approach, by calling his neighbors and threatening them using Rick's voice. Nismo just had that personality where he wanted to rock the boat, and cause as much chaos and mayhem as possible.
At the same time, the entire Nightmare on Burton Street series was all over the news, and everyone was panicking.
Realm of Darkness didn't allow doxxed information on their site, and everyone temporarily abandoned the Toy Chest. So I created a website 'www.rtmmn.webs.com' (now offline) and had a picture of Rick's phone number on it. Then I linked it on Realm of Darkness. This was a stupid loophole that ended up working for a few days. The number was eventually disconnected, because, as I imagine, some amateur soundboard prank callers harassed him and didn't record it. This is one of the reasons that the high level prank callers were so reluctant to give out numbers and addresses.
Then the community had Ricks full name, but people decided against putting his address out. In some cases people have guessed the right guy, in other cases its some random Rick with the same name!
I wasn't known for making calls myself, although I did take some 'loyalty tests' in the Toy Chest, and called some ballers. I was more of a fixer, known for getting shit done and finding those who couldn't be found. That's the story of Rick.
LET ME TELL YOU HOW I FEEL: FUGG YEW!!! Motherfucker you.
submitted by auftragarmy to soundboardpranks [link] [comments]
Mr88Nismo and GoldenPhone2 were in The Toy Chest vent (a group where prank calls would be dialed live), and there were about 10 other people in there that were online at the time. Mr88Nismo was searching through Craigslist for people to call, and that's where he found Rick, hence "I'm just sitting here on the fucking TV and computer." Nismo always liked to use Craigslist, where he also found Mopar Man.
Despite what others have said, at the time Rick lived in House Springs, MO. This was exactly what Nismo told me in DM's way back in 2009 or 2010.
At the time, there were ads on White Pages that claimed to do "comprehensive background checks", similar to the ones that are around today. The sites were complete bullshit. One of the callers paid for one once, and it turned out to be complete BS. Rick ended up paying for one, which is why he claimed "I know everything about you now, motherfucker!" Rick ended up calling a number ("I called once back to see that it was you", "your wife said its the wrong number") and he thought it was Duncan. But the numbers Nismo and Golden spoofed were just random "000122121000." So Rick never called a Soundboard Prank Caller back, he called some random Frank Garrett.
Rick said he was getting the cops involved numerous times. I knew that whenever this happened, everyone in the vent would flee, out of fear of being caught. So I submitted a FOIA request to the police and sheriff in Rick's county and no reports were ever filed by Rick.
Somehow, they lost the number in all the confusion with Skype. They didn't use VPN's back then, so they had to spoof IP addresses and use SSH tunnels in some cases, to avoid detection. They would routinely delete Skype accounts and they used a service that still exists today to spoof their phone numbers.
Fast forward and by this time, Nismo and GoldenPhone were already doing the Nightmare on Burton Street series. I wanted to find the real Rick, because I felt we could get so much more out of him.
Google used to have a service called 'phone directory', which was eventually discontinued because they published silent/private numbers, including the numbers to celebrities. This service was the only online phone directory that allowed people to search for others using only a first name. So I searched for "Rick" in one tab, and "Karen" in another tab, with the location set to Missouri. There was a Richard and Karen living in a "McMansion" in MO, and another couple living in House Springs in a trailer park in House Springs, MO.
I called him at around 2 AM, and it went straight to voicemail. I couldn't help myself, and I used the Duncan soundboard on the voicemail.
Nismo was the first person I told. He confirmed the number was the original, and he told GoldenPhone. They took a different approach, by calling his neighbors and threatening them using Rick's voice. Nismo just had that personality where he wanted to rock the boat, and cause as much chaos and mayhem as possible.
At the same time, the entire Nightmare on Burton Street series was all over the news, and everyone was panicking.
Realm of Darkness didn't allow doxxed information on their site, and everyone temporarily abandoned the Toy Chest. So I created a website 'www.rtmmn.webs.com' (now offline) and had a picture of Rick's phone number on it. Then I linked it on Realm of Darkness. This was a stupid loophole that ended up working for a few days. The number was eventually disconnected, because, as I imagine, some amateur soundboard prank callers harassed him and didn't record it. This is one of the reasons that the high level prank callers were so reluctant to give out numbers and addresses.
Then the community had Ricks full name, but people decided against putting his address out. In some cases people have guessed the right guy, in other cases its some random Rick with the same name!
I wasn't known for making calls myself, although I did take some 'loyalty tests' in the Toy Chest, and called some ballers. I was more of a fixer, known for getting shit done and finding those who couldn't be found. That's the story of Rick.
LET ME TELL YOU HOW I FEEL: FUGG YEW!!! Motherfucker you.
2023.05.30 07:26 auswalk_walking THE KUMANO KODO TRAIL – AN ANCIENT JAPANESE PILGRIMAGE
 | submitted by auswalk_walking to u/auswalk_walking [link] [comments] Kumano Kodo One of our favourite walks, Explore Kumano Kodo, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, tucked into the mountainous Kii Peninsula and discover Japan’s rich history What is the Kumano Kodo? In the mountains of the Kii Peninsula is an area known as Kumano, where an ancient network of pilgrimage routes to the Kumano Sanzan shrines of Kumano Hongu Taisha, Kumano Hayatama Taisha, and Kumano Nachi Taisha are etched into the earth. Five prominent pilgrimages form the Kumano Kodo:
History of the Kumano Kodo Pilgrimage Route The route is considered to be one of the country’s most sacred trails. During Japan’s formative years, the native religion of Shinto was formed, a way of life that worshipped the natural world and the sacred sites of Kumano. As Buddhism was introduced to Japan, the mountainous area became a training area for Buddhist monks. Eventually, Shintoism and Buddhism merged, creating a syncretic belief system. Over time, the Shinto deities were believed to be emanations of Buddha, and the monasteries became a place of worship. For over a millennium, the routes became a pathway for those travelling to the Kumano shrines in search of spiritual enlightenment. These trails were crossed by emperors, the nobility and their families, and in later years by samurai warriors and then the people of Japan. https://preview.redd.it/79fpher6lw2b1.jpg?width=2400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6e0519f55b8aaad1b87b296b3145b98ef32ebb8 Seven things to expect on the Kumano Kodo These sacred pathways are rich in history, with each route offering something different. If you have chosen to embark on the Kumano Kodo trail, here are a few things you can expect along the way:
Is the Kumano Kodo like the Camino de Santiago? Only two pilgrimage routes in the world are recognised as UNESCO World Heritage Sites—Kumano Kodo and Camino de Santiago. There are a few differences, including distance. The Camino de Santiago covers 790 km, while the Kumano Kodo covers 68 km. The conditions are also very different, with the Kumano Kodo weaving through rugged mountain terrain and the Camino de Santiago predominantly winding through rural Spain ( and parts of Portugal and even France). Is Kumano Kodo crowded? The Kumano Kodo walk is a relatively quiet journey, with hikers occasionally crossing paths. Due to the limited trail accommodations, travellers can avoid large crowds. Can you walk the Kumano Kodo trek solo? Yes, hikers can trek Kumano Kodo by themselves. Booking accommodations at the lodges along the trail ensures that staff in the area are aware of your movements and can account for you at every stop. If you are looking for recommendations for walking companies for the Kumano Kodo trail we suggest Auswalk. Is the Kumano Kodo a hard hike? The Kumano Kodo hike offers many different paths, each of which is moderate to challenging. However, these trails vary in difficulty depending on the individual, so thoroughly research each before embarking. Source URL - https://auswalk.com.au/the-kumano-kodo-trail-an-ancient-japanese-pilgrimage/ https://preview.redd.it/ufm5hhwtlw2b1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afb36e7d9a09a7c2fb401f9243e720d3a83568ad |
2023.05.30 07:24 Vthrowaway20 My delusional co worker
I feel like this is going to be a semi psychotic unstructured rant about my coworker. She’s a racist, annoying, intellectually deficient, homunculus. She doesn’t even seem like a person, she’s a gollum. I am so annoyed by her obvious racist and elitist ways. She’s for feminism but only when it comes to body positivity because she’s fat(4’11 and at 86 kilograms). She despises poor women and picks on the cleaning lady and when ever she buys things, she rubs it in her face. She’s against the caste system but if you’re someone from the marginalised community she will point out she’s a Menon. I made the mistake of telling her that my grandmother is a Dalit and that my grandfather is Anglo Indian. She asked me why my grandfather married my grand mother. She asked me how much “white blood I got”. Idk a litre? Why ask it like that lmao. The simping for white men. She shoos little kids a way who are forced to beg and complains when I give them food or water. She calls them lazy (they’re kids wtf). She offered to buy some random white guy a drink at Starbucks. She thought colonialism was great and it “civilised us”. Her constantly complaining about reservations when she’s an idiot who didn’t do well in school and thought that the uk was going to drift away during brexit. Her telling me that I’m only attractive because my grandfather is half white. I don’t look white, I look like a regular ass Indian. I look like my other grandma who was a a beautiful Indian woman. Her superiority complex because she’s light skinned. She has brown teeth, has no chin, chipmunk cheeks and isn’t attractive in general. She thinks the dark skinned models look like “khamwalis”. She says derogatory things about darker skinned people and black people. I went to the Maldives and came back darker, she asked me if I’m “Africa now” Her bad hygiene but she’s not poor so it’s quirky. She goes days with out showering and she thinks she doesn’t smell. Her hair always looks dirty. She makes the cleaning lady feel bad because she uses mustard oil which has a strong smell. She don’t realise how musty she is. She’s elitist but doesn’t realise she’s not rich. She just has more money than most the country because we live in a poor country. She takes pictures of her Starbucks drinks and she brags about the weirdest things. When ever people go out to eat she brags about online.
She does all of this but she’s a liberal and for human rights, online.
submitted by Vthrowaway20 to librandu [link] [comments]
She does all of this but she’s a liberal and for human rights, online.
2023.05.30 07:22 Practical-Magic20 IMO: Everyone is guilty…..
In my opinion, everyone that has been a party in this whole fiasco, we are all guilty. One fueled the other.
K and Mk loved the limelight they got from swinging and TikTok. The more the outrageous and outspoken, the more of a following they got. Even an OF was created. The more following and attention the more they loved being “TikTok Famous.” They got even more outspoken for their “fans” to keep it growing.
Then came the colabs with other swingers for content. That didn’t go well. The drama from that again, fueled the fire for K and MK. They thrived on the drama that falling out created. Everyone cheering them all on. Their fans and the haters.
Then, enters Mt and M. They willingly became a part of the swinging side of TikTok. They began to like the following and attention they gained. So, you have K, MK, MT and M, that all generated even more, if not double attention by willingly, eventually becoming poly.
Those fans that cheered them on and the haters that sat anxiously awaiting every move they made, created more fuel for the fire. Even with those that also posted and made so many digs at everything from her hair to the words out of each others mouth, to posting videos and making fun of their genitalia. They all reacted to all of that by beginning to be even more outrageous. By then the snowball effect was underway and no stopping it. The whole divorce made it even worse. Then each one began hitting below the belt on each one. Again they all gained more chaos. EVERYONE, fans, haters, spectators, if you followed, commented, posted pictures or videos, were in the TikTok lives cheering, your all guilty. I Haters and fans alike, sat by anxiously awaiting what each one would say or do next. Everyone poked and poked and posted and made fun of, commented terrible things until there was no stopping the train wreck.
PPP and her antics did what? Added gas to the fire. The more PPP did the more K, MT did. It was like watching a tennis match. If PPP would have not picked up the drama that those four created and had rolling, again we would not have had anyone’s child posted, spoke upon, or anyone doxed.
IMO, if everyone would have stopped following, commenting, posting, and such, the flame would have gone out and more likely than none, none of this would have gone this far.
EVERYONE treated this whole saga as entertainment. It was real people, with real issues, with mental health issues, with kids and families. All the fire would have died and saved them a lot of grief and added trauma.
Yes K got herself in jail but if everyone would have stopped treating them as their entertainment and stirring the pot, I don’t think the four would be where they all are now.
I take ownership of my following, commenting, posting and using the situation in the wrong way. I feel bad for what I did. I’m sorry that I played a part in all of this.
Do you?
Everyone should take accountability for their actions! Not just K!
submitted by Practical-Magic20 to KM3Snark [link] [comments]
K and Mk loved the limelight they got from swinging and TikTok. The more the outrageous and outspoken, the more of a following they got. Even an OF was created. The more following and attention the more they loved being “TikTok Famous.” They got even more outspoken for their “fans” to keep it growing.
Then came the colabs with other swingers for content. That didn’t go well. The drama from that again, fueled the fire for K and MK. They thrived on the drama that falling out created. Everyone cheering them all on. Their fans and the haters.
Then, enters Mt and M. They willingly became a part of the swinging side of TikTok. They began to like the following and attention they gained. So, you have K, MK, MT and M, that all generated even more, if not double attention by willingly, eventually becoming poly.
Those fans that cheered them on and the haters that sat anxiously awaiting every move they made, created more fuel for the fire. Even with those that also posted and made so many digs at everything from her hair to the words out of each others mouth, to posting videos and making fun of their genitalia. They all reacted to all of that by beginning to be even more outrageous. By then the snowball effect was underway and no stopping it. The whole divorce made it even worse. Then each one began hitting below the belt on each one. Again they all gained more chaos. EVERYONE, fans, haters, spectators, if you followed, commented, posted pictures or videos, were in the TikTok lives cheering, your all guilty. I Haters and fans alike, sat by anxiously awaiting what each one would say or do next. Everyone poked and poked and posted and made fun of, commented terrible things until there was no stopping the train wreck.
PPP and her antics did what? Added gas to the fire. The more PPP did the more K, MT did. It was like watching a tennis match. If PPP would have not picked up the drama that those four created and had rolling, again we would not have had anyone’s child posted, spoke upon, or anyone doxed.
IMO, if everyone would have stopped following, commenting, posting, and such, the flame would have gone out and more likely than none, none of this would have gone this far.
EVERYONE treated this whole saga as entertainment. It was real people, with real issues, with mental health issues, with kids and families. All the fire would have died and saved them a lot of grief and added trauma.
Yes K got herself in jail but if everyone would have stopped treating them as their entertainment and stirring the pot, I don’t think the four would be where they all are now.
I take ownership of my following, commenting, posting and using the situation in the wrong way. I feel bad for what I did. I’m sorry that I played a part in all of this.
Do you?
Everyone should take accountability for their actions! Not just K!
2023.05.30 07:21 Sad-Kiwi-1374 18M I have multiple streams of thought that can communicate with each other.
Since I was a child I’ve been able to picture images in 3d and pretty much create whatever I want in my head. At some point or another I started to have two trains of thought, they are both in my voice and they both have different ideas and such. They communicate and argue about what the correct thought or answer is. I am a viewespectator in my own mind, it’s hard to explain over text but I can tell which train of thought is which and I can go into it to see the reasoning behind what each is thinking. I can have up to five going at once, however any more than three and It takes a lot of effort. Having two or three going takes no effort and is how my mind always is. They do not have personality’s or names, they are all me, they all have the same morals and knowledge they each take things from a different angle and communicate with each other to decide which is the best. I’ve told all of this in greater detail to a psychiatrist and they said it wasn’t something to worry about, however, I would like to know if there is a name for it or if I should be worried. Thank you!
submitted by Sad-Kiwi-1374 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:20 atomicpixel_ldn On camera xlr that much better than 3.5mm mic?
Hey guys, new to the Sony system and just got the fx3.
I see people using xlr mics on camera, but I just placed in a little rode micro with dead cat and into the 3.5mm input on the handle.
It’s small and no xlr cables to get in the way. I think it’d be great for scratch audio.
I know xlr is a better sound, but is there anything I’m missing as to why people don’t use standard mics with the fx3 for run and gun?
With the handle on, I mean. I see guys take the handle off and go standard mic.
Also, if using an xlr and phantom power, does that kill the battery pretty quick?
Thanks in advance.
submitted by atomicpixel_ldn to FX3 [link] [comments]
I see people using xlr mics on camera, but I just placed in a little rode micro with dead cat and into the 3.5mm input on the handle.
It’s small and no xlr cables to get in the way. I think it’d be great for scratch audio.
I know xlr is a better sound, but is there anything I’m missing as to why people don’t use standard mics with the fx3 for run and gun?
With the handle on, I mean. I see guys take the handle off and go standard mic.
Also, if using an xlr and phantom power, does that kill the battery pretty quick?
Thanks in advance.